ttc 45+, looking into surrogacy option

Hello everyone! I’m 47, married, no kids. My dh and I have been ttc for 9 years already. I’ve got pregnant in 2012, but there was problem with my kidneys and doctors had to terminate pregnancy. There is a very high risk for me to get pregnant again. We decided to use services of surrogate mother. Surrogacy is forbidden by law in our country and we are looking for options abroad. Which country is better to go? Which clinics are better to address? How long it takes to find sm? I read that sometimes it takes years. Is that true? I’m not getting any younger. I’m afraid that my eggs won’t be valid in a couple of years. I don’t want to lose time. I’m afraid it may be too late for us and there will be no chance to become parents.

Girls thank you so much for support! I'll consider your advices. It's so nice to talk to someone who is at the same boat. We've been ttc for so long... To be honest I'm exhausted. I want my surrogacy journey to start as soon as possible. I'm tired of waiting and hope for nothing. I believe surrogacy will give us a chance to live happily. I decided to concentrate on European clinics. They have pretty reasonable prices. USA prices so high I doubt we can afford to have surrogacy there. I hope I'll find something during September. Don't want to waste time any more. I'll update as soon as there will be some news.

Hello everyone who is reading my thread! I wasn't active for a while... I haven't done any research on surrogacy during more than a week... It makes me so angry at myself that I'm wasting time, but... There is a reason for my inaction. I don't want to whine and complain. I know that doing those things is just a waste of time. But I feel like I need to talk to someone. It feels like the whole world is against our intention to have a baby. Last week I met my old friend. We studied in college together. We met in a local supermarket. She was with her kids, 9 and 2 yo. Of course she started to ask about my kids and I told her I don't have one. And she was like "OH REALLY?" She was looking at me like I'm crazy person. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment is to disappear. I wanted to explain myself and I don't know how this happened but I told her that we are planning to have surrogacy. Usually I don't tell about it and only the closest people know about it. And what do you think she told me? "Oh honey, don't be stupid. It's too late for you. Just let it go." And she was stupidly smiling and she had that dumb smirk on her face as if she knows everything about me and can tell me what I have to do with my life. Not only I was mad at her, but I was mad at myself. Why? Why have I told that bitch about surrogacy? Why I even care what she thinks? I have so many thoughts in my head now! I'm so angry! Why do I care what someone who means nothing for me thinks about my choices? And I'm just sitting here, doubting my intentions to have surrogacy. What if she's right? What if it's too late for us? I hate this.

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry you are going through this situation. If you are still not sure if you want to use surrogacy, I assure you, do it! I have a great son, who was born with the help of the surrogate. And I don't regret! I couldn't give birth to my baby. But some other woman did it. And he is still my son. The doctor used my eggs and my husband's sperm. It means that we are biological parents of the baby. It is written in the birth certificate. The surrogate mother has nothing in common with the baby.
We were looking for a good medical center for a long time. You should read reviews, find positive stories. Then go there and talk to doctors. If the world gives you this chance to become a parent why not to use it. You should realize your dream! You are still young and you can give your kid everything needed.
Don't wait until your eggs become invalid. You don't have much time. But you have a chance to change your life. Then you will meet your friend and you will be able to say that you have one amazing child. Boy or girl... whatever. My husband wanted to have a son. And here we go, we got a boy. So, dreams come true. You just have to believe.
By the way, even if your eggs get invalid, you still can have a baby. But unfortunately, it will be related to your husband only. Anyway, it is much better than adoption.
I wish you good luck! Keep posting!

What are you talking about?? It’s never late to realize your dream! You have to become parents as soon as possible. This is absolutely right decision to use the help of the surrogate mother. You should use your eggs and your husband’s sperm to get your biological baby. If your eggs are still ok you have a great chance to fulfill your dream. Don’t let your friends or relatives to get you off the right track. Keep following your dream. This is your life and only you decide when it is time to become parents.
I know a lot about surrogacy because I used to work in a medical center. I saw a lot of infertile couples. And also I saw how happy they were when their dreams were coming true. I believe that every couple is worth of being parents if they really want it. I see that you are definitely ready to do it. So what are you waiting for?
Go to the reproduction center and start the surrogacy process. You will have to go through different examinations. After that your doctor will choose the surrogate mother for you. You can ask your friend or relative to become your surrogate mother. But personally I think that it should be some unknown person. In this case you will avoid a lot of problems. Also, don’t forget about the lawyer. You will need to create a good contract.
You shouldn’t give up if your surrogate doesn’t get pregnant from the first time. Sometimes it takes more time.
You are right, you are not getting younger. So, you shouldn’t waste your time. Don’t let your eggs get invalid.
I really hope that you will use this chance! Go ahead! Don’t give up!

Hi friend, I am here for you to provide satisfaction information to overcome this horrible problem in your life. I am so sorry for infertility problem at age of 47. I am one of the lucky women who defeat infertility problem with IVF test tube baby treatment at age of 47. I am totally surprised to see that you are facing same problem like me. This creates golden opportunity in my life to help you on behalf of my personal life experience. It is very important to make proper planning with your husband at to understand each other physical needs and emotional very well that full satisfaction and relaxation in your marriage life. It is very important to maintain your body hormone level in balance with the proper balanced diet and healthy lifestyle in busy schedule life with less physical activity.
We are living in medical research based world where many medical researchers are working day and night to defeat infertility with IVF test tube baby treatment and surrogacy to enjoy baby gift in infertile women. IVF test tube baby treatment is most popular and reliable treatment all over the world to provide real value of time and money to convert your dream into reality. You can create beneficial platform with powerful yoga and meditation to remove stress and depression from your body and mind. You can easily enhance your eggs quality with morning walk and easy exercise that enhance your success rate with IVF test tube baby treatment. You can easily overcome miscarriage problem with surrogacy. It is beneficial to choose surrogacy treatment to avoid risk of death during pregnancy in care cases disease. I hope to hear good news soon that fulfills your whole life with happiness.

Hello girls! I'm surprised to see so many replies! I didn't expect to receive so much support! I'm so grateful for your kind words. I really needed to hear all these words. To be honest I've been stressed last couple of days or even weeks... All these negative thoughts made me lost in time... I've been thinking over and over again about all that things which my "friend" told me. She made me doubt about my choice and this is not a good thing. This was a huge lesson for me. No one should stop us from reaching our goals. There are so many people who think they can tell us what to do. They judge us so easily. They don't even think they can hurt our feelings and our mind. But the thing is they don't know how we feel and what we have to face during our battle with infertility. The best thing for us is to just ignore them and do what is the best for us and our family. I understand that I was so stupid that I let her words to make me doubt in the thing which is now my only option to have children. I wasted almost two weeks thinking about her words, thinking about her opinion which has nothing to do with me. I'm so glad to be back here. It made me so happy to see all this kind replies, all your support. Thanks to you I'm back again. I will definitely continue my search about surrogacy. You are so right! I don't have time for stress, depressions, for thinking if this option is good for me or not. Because I've already decided that surrogacy is the best for me and my husband. Anyway these days helped me to understand that no one and nothing will stop me from reaching my goal. I will never ever listen to anyone who would tell me surrogacy is wrong and not for me. I will do everything possible to make my family happy. To make myself happy.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I will definitely consider everything you've told me in my search. From now on I will find all information I need to start my surrogacy journey. This will be kind of a challenge for me. In a month I want to see huge result. I want my journey start in November. So I will do everything to make it happen.

Mindy said:
Oh, dear. I'm so sorry you are going through this situation. If you are still not sure if you want to use surrogacy, I assure you, do it! I have a great son, who was born with the help of the surrogate. And I don't regret! I couldn't give birth to my baby. But some other woman did it. And he is still my son. The doctor used my eggs and my husband's sperm. It means that we are biological parents of the baby. It is written in the birth certificate. The surrogate mother has nothing in common with the baby.
We were looking for a good medical center for a long time. You should read reviews, find positive stories. Then go there and talk to doctors. If the world gives you this chance to become a parent why not to use it. You should realize your dream! You are still young and you can give your kid everything needed.
Don't wait until your eggs become invalid. You don't have much time. But you have a chance to change your life. Then you will meet your friend and you will be able to say that you have one amazing child. Boy or girl... whatever. My husband wanted to have a son. And here we go, we got a boy. So, dreams come true. You just have to believe.
By the way, even if your eggs get invalid, you still can have a baby. But unfortunately, it will be related to your husband only. Anyway, it is much better than adoption.
I wish you good luck! Keep posting!

Hi Mindy! I just wanted to say a huge thank you. Your words made me to wake up. My congratulation with your successful surrogacy! I'm so happy about you and your family. I wish all the best to you and your son. I'm really happy to know you made your dream come true! You inspired me to keep going no matter what. I don't want to lose my time. Each day matters because I'm not getting younger. I really want to meet with my friend in a couple of years and prove her wrong. I will be happy mother of my precious child. She will see that it's never too late. And it's not too late for me.

phoeben said:
What are you talking about?? It’s never late to realize your dream! You have to become parents as soon as possible. This is absolutely right decision to use the help of the surrogate mother. You should use your eggs and your husband’s sperm to get your biological baby. If your eggs are still ok you have a great chance to fulfill your dream. Don’t let your friends or relatives to get you off the right track. Keep following your dream. This is your life and only you decide when it is time to become parents.
I know a lot about surrogacy because I used to work in a medical center. I saw a lot of infertile couples. And also I saw how happy they were when their dreams were coming true. I believe that every couple is worth of being parents if they really want it. I see that you are definitely ready to do it. So what are you waiting for?
Go to the reproduction center and start the surrogacy process. You will have to go through different examinations. After that your doctor will choose the surrogate mother for you. You can ask your friend or relative to become your surrogate mother. But personally I think that it should be some unknown person. In this case you will avoid a lot of problems. Also, don’t forget about the lawyer. You will need to create a good contract.
You shouldn’t give up if your surrogate doesn’t get pregnant from the first time. Sometimes it takes more time.
You are right, you are not getting younger. So, you shouldn’t waste your time. Don’t let your eggs get invalid.
I really hope that you will use this chance! Go ahead! Don’t give up!

Hi dear! I really appreciate your support. Your words are so inspiring! Everything you've told me is true. Nothing should stop me from my desire to have children. I want this more than anything else. Actually now it's the only thing I want in my life. We've been trying to conceive for so long... There is nothing I can do to return all the time back. So now I can't let myself to waste any minute. Thank you for sharing the details of surrogacy process. I will consider everything you've told. We've been thinking to ask someone a relative or a friend to be our surrogate. But you're right. It will be better to you services of a stranger. I hope to find center or clinic which will rule the whole process. And thank you for advice about lawyer. We should find one which will help us to make the process smooth.

priyaangel said:
Hello dear, sorry to hear about your problem and I hope you will find a good solution with help of good advice of forum members. I know it is a dream of every woman to become a mother and it is very difficult time to face such condition in your life. Infertility is a common problem with many couples these days. If you are unable to conceive then surrogacy is a good option. With surrogacy, you can easily find a beautiful baby in your life and you can live a happy life with your family. It is really bad thing that surrogacy is not allowed in your country but you can easily find these services in many abroad countries. If you want to find any surrogate mother to have baby, you can easily find any good reproduction centre in many other countries. To find good services, you can visit European countries. If you want reliable and cost-effective services, I heard about a good clinic in Ukraine. You can make some research over the Internet and can talk to other couples who have got these services with reproduction centres. It is very important to search for any reliable and certified reproduction Centre where you can get help to find services of a surrogate mother. One of my friend was also faced such situation in life and she got help with reproduction Centre. She is living a beautiful and happy life with his baby and husband now. I hope it will work for you also and you will get good solution to have a baby with these surrogacy services. I know that you will become a great mother and will be blessed with a beautiful baby with these solutions.

Hello honey! You are reading my mind. These are the exact things I think about surrogacy. With each day I'm more and more convinced that surrogacy is that the best option for me to have children. I'm so happy for your friend! Such stories gives me hope that my surrogacy journey will also end with having my own baby. Thank you for your advices! I read much information about European reproductive centers in the internet. I will definitely look more in Europe. There are really many professional clinics. The only thing which left for me is to find the best one. Do you know which clinic your friend used? Maybe she's shared some thoughts with you. What she liked and what she didn't like? I hope to find as much information as I can to make my journey not perfect but at least to have as less troubles as I can. I know we can't predict everything but at least I can do my journey as smooth as I can.

michael24x7 said:
Hi friend, I am here for you to provide satisfaction information to overcome this horrible problem in your life. I am so sorry for infertility problem at age of 47. I am one of the lucky women who defeat infertility problem with IVF test tube baby treatment at age of 47. I am totally surprised to see that you are facing same problem like me. This creates golden opportunity in my life to help you on behalf of my personal life experience. It is very important to make proper planning with your husband at to understand each other physical needs and emotional very well that full satisfaction and relaxation in your marriage life. It is very important to maintain your body hormone level in balance with the proper balanced diet and healthy lifestyle in busy schedule life with less physical activity.
We are living in medical research based world where many medical researchers are working day and night to defeat infertility with IVF test tube baby treatment and surrogacy to enjoy baby gift in infertile women. IVF test tube baby treatment is most popular and reliable treatment all over the world to provide real value of time and money to convert your dream into reality. You can create beneficial platform with powerful yoga and meditation to remove stress and depression from your body and mind. You can easily enhance your eggs quality with morning walk and easy exercise that enhance your success rate with IVF test tube baby treatment. You can easily overcome miscarriage problem with surrogacy. It is beneficial to choose surrogacy treatment to avoid risk of death during pregnancy in care cases disease. I hope to hear good news soon that fulfills your whole life with happiness.

Hello hun! Thank you so much for your support. I'm so glad that this treatment worked for you. I wish all the best to you and your family. I appreciate you shared yourself and experience with me. I will consider all information you gave. I'm sure it will help me in my journey. I will definitely update my thread as soon as I will have some news about my surrogacy. I wish everyone all the best! I want to say to all of you who face infertility don't ever give up! Don't ever let anyone to make you doubt in your choice. Because this choice can give you happiness you are dreaming about! Now I will go looking for a center or a clinic. As I've mentioned already I want my journey to start as soon as possible. So I will have to do thorough research to make this happen.

Hello everyone who is reading my thread! How you're doing? What news do you have? I have a little update and I want to share it with you. So a couple of days ago I met my other friend. And what do you think? She started asking me is it true that we are planning to use surrogacy. When I asked how she knows she told me that B told her about it. B is the friend I met at a supermarket. I can't believe she told everyone about it! I want to go back in time and take my words back! I suppose they discussed me and my plans about surrogacy. It drives me crazy when I think what they were talking about me. Anyway I can change nothing. I'm trying not to think about this situation. This is really stupid to think about what other people think about me. They know nothing about my life and situation I have. I'm keep going and looking for information about surrogacy. My husband and I will have a meeting with a lawyer in a couple of days. We want to discuss all aspects of surrogacy and how we can avoid risks. We have already made a list of questions which we want to discuss with our lawyer. I just wanted to ask maybe you have some advices what should we ask? I really want to know all information on law part. I hope we won't miss any detail.

Today we are living in digital world. It is good idea to share your personal problem at this digital platform where you got valuable suggestion from others life experience to solve your problem in short time period. I am here for you to provide valuable information that helps you to overcome conceiving related problem in easy and effective way. I am feeling pity and pain regarding this horrible situation in your life from bottom of my heart. You should understand the importance of real bonding with your partner to get satisfaction relationship with understanding each other physical need and emotional very well.
The first and foremost thing, I want to suggest you to handle this difficult situation with powerful yoga and meditation. This is very important to understand advanced medical research based treatment like IVF and surrogacy treatment that is suitable for you to achieve your target in short time period. You can choose IVF test tube baby treatment that is most reliable and profitable treatment that has capacity to convert your dream into reality. IVF and surrogacy treatment has capacity to provide real value of time and money that fulfill your all life is brightness. It is very hard to conceive at age of 47 but you need not lose hope. The surrogacy treatment is sufficient for you to convert your imagination into reality. Surrogacy treatment is become bone for infertile women all over the world. There are 20% women who are facing infertility problem all over the world. You should understand your body signal very well that help you to achieve your target in short time period. I hope my valuable suggestion help you to enjoy and less brightness in your life like me.

Thank you for your replies! I will consider all the devices you gave. Thanks for the details about surrogacy process and how it goes. US have the highest price. This sum seems unreal to me. It's nice to know there are much cheaper options. I hope we will choose a reliable clinic very soon. I want our journey to start as soon as possible.

I'm so sorry about your situation dear! You made a great thing you came here. We are all in the same boat. Who else can understand better than we do? It was also hard for me to open up to people I don't know. But here we can receive support and understanding which sometimes we can't get from our family or friends. I know how hard it is to find a clinic. Recently I was in your shoes. Though search can take some time but eventually you'll find the best place for you! We found clinic in Europe. They've already found sm for us and we are waiting for our baby to see the world) I wish you good luck with your search!

Hello OP! How is your surrogacy going? I'm so sorry about your situation. I also can't carry a baby. I had 6 MCs. I'm so exhausted and depressed. We are also thinking to try surrogacy. I've only started my search. I'm new to surrogacy and don't know much about it. But I hope to find some info here and on other forums. As I know for now US has the highest prices. Many women recommend European clinics. They have lowest prices for the same services. I didn't choose the exact country yet. All of them have different laws concerning surrogacy. I'm planning to consult with a lawyer first. I hope to see some updates from you!

It is a right decision at the right time. At this age when you are close to your menopause and the eggs have grown weak too, surrogacy can really help you. Surrogacy is still not legalized in several countries. Your country is unluckily one of those. In this case, why don't you try visiting the East European region? They have some reliable clinics working there. They are not very expensive either.

Hi there! I hope you are doing good. So you are 47 and want to have a baby. Surrogacy is the right option. In Surrogacy your age doesn't matter. The surrogate mother carries the baby for you. Don't worry your eggs will be fine. Just don't let anyone change your mind. This is the best treatment for infertility. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Many celebrities had their babies with the help of surrogacy. So the area best for this treatment is in eastern Europe. That's where I had my treatment. So I can assure you that the clinics there are very affordable and the treatment is so good too. Much Love!

This is a really tough struggle, but you have managed to do the IVF against all odds. And now, you are experiencing symptoms of early pregnancy. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Have you tried acupuncture after the transfer as it enhances the quality of the embryo and makes a difference? I am sure, you obgyn would have told you to take prenatal vitamins, balanced diet with protein, fruits, and juices. Staying hydrated all through the day. Avoid caffeine, quit smoking and drinking. However, these tips are suggested months before TTC. but its never too late to make a difference. Moreover, mediate avoid excessive exercise. Moreover, it is suggested that after the transfer, avoid taking hot baths, and heavy lifting. Stay away from anxiety and stress. Stay home, relax, and enjoy Netflix. These tips will make the transfer a success. Lots of good wishes. Hope this ET is a success. Stay calm and happy

Hello there lovely. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. This is indeed the worst that can happen to you. Losing the baby after rejoicing the hope of motherhood. The world, however, does not end here. There are many options left. As you mentioned surrogacy is a famous and most reliable procedure to get a baby. You were right when you mentioned that in some countries it is illegal. In most countries of Europe, this procedure is legal and has no implications attached.Look for clinics in western Europe specifically. There are many positive feedbacks from these clinics. I was blessed enough to have one child before I started facing issues in TTC. Though I wish to have a baby girl now.I am considering surrogacy too. As I mentioned I have read some great reviews about clinics in western Europe. I will contact them shortly. You should do the same.