looking out for?

No mother wants her child to have any complications. But sometimes we have to ask is there one? I have a 5 year old daughter and she just seems to take in everything slowly and has a pattern to lie. Because she is slow to understand something's and some of the behaviors we observe we plan to get her checked up. Who else is going through this? Or has advice.

As a child, I was always scared of my mom; I would lie even when I did not have to. But in your situation, your child does not feel settled with you questioning her or watching her; she is not as fast paced as you would think but I would say she is smarter than many kids out there. For the fact that she has developed a defensive mechanism called lying, she is smart.

I would advise you make her feel comfortable, try not to badger her with questions but make suggestions that will settle her down, let her learn to trust you and she would stop being defensive. Try to make her happy, laugh often, encourage her to share her ideas on what she likes and dislikes; just be free with her and she may not have to think about the things she does but let loose and be the 5 year old she is.

The other day my 5 year old said, when you guys weren't looking, I took a cookie off the plate. Then kind of giggled and looked like he had done something wrong. I was a little perplexed, because I thought, I never told him not to, so why would he think he had to sneak it. It really got me thinking how to react to him, because I was happy he told me, and also saw how this might be the start to lying, if he thought I would be angry.

So it makes me think kids lie to protect them selves from a negative reaction. So perhaps stressing that you will be happy with the truth, and not be upset with the "wrong" answer, might help? I'm not sure.

My daughter is 10 and she has ADD which one of the symptoms that it can have is lying. Most of the time when she lies to me it is to get out of doing homework because she has a hard time dealing with the amount of focus and concentration it entails.

If you feel there is something wrong that needs to be dealt with then you should talk to your daughter's doctor about it. A mother knows their child better than anyone and can usually detect problems before they become too bad. She may be lying to cover up feelings that she does not understand or because in her mind your reaction to a situation will not be what she wants. There are so many reasons that children lie that not knowing the complete situation is hard to pin point.

I hope you find the answers you need and figure out if there is a problem. Good luck.

Lying is frustrating, and it is even worse when it is coming from your daughter. It requires effort from both the parents and the community to fix the problem. Children lie to avoid punishment. The case is made worse if physical punishment is met on the child. Studies show that lying is prevalent in families where children face humiliation, tongue lashing, and physical punishment. Also, when children know that they will lose favor if they tell the truth, they resort to lying. So I am not sure what is happening in your home, but I am sure your daughter’s behavior is motivated by something. Well, you have mentioned that the child is slow and so she may not be able to remember a lot of details. Thus, she resorts to lies either to fill the gaps or when she does not want to be subjected to further interrogation. So as a parent you need to find a way of addressing the problem without it. The idea is to create a friendly environment that will make your child develop honest virtues.

HI

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You are right, every parent wants just the best for their children. Five year olds are at the stage in which they are identifying with the world. It is at this stage that they learn alot from their fellow kids. On the other hand, they tend to want to make their parents proud no matter what, which explains her tendency to lie over and over again. With the issue of being slow, try bringing them closer to you. You can be the best friend to them. Probably somebody spoke something negative to them and they took it in. Speak positive to them always. Let them know they are doing great even when you know they are not. You applauding them help them stay on the right track. Avoid yelling at them because it pushes them away from you. While they may be in need of something, because of fear, they will choose to stay quiet. You have the ability to make her catch up with other kids. Furthermore, their is no measure that a child should be able to do a certain thing for them to qualify as a fast learner. They possess different strengths, hence ar unique. That is what you must look into supporting. Identify what your child is able to do and support it fully. Introduce educational toys that will help the mental state of the child to fully develop. Further still, a check-up help identify the core issue too.

This must really be saddening on parent's part. Parenting could be so difficult at times. Take for instance, the case at hand. That is the kids lying in the face. Of course, no parent would like to instill such habits in their children. And they would make sure that their offspring grow up to be honest and truthful. Looking at it, you can also not neglect the fact that lying is the first bad habit a child might develop. So, how to deal with your kids when they start lying? Tell them that they've been caught red-handed. You don't have to beat them. Push them on the ground. And throw belts on their little bodies. Just simply give a sly smile. Let them know that you're the parent. And that they can't oversmart you. It's good to be friendly and nice with kids. But you have to have them some level fear/courtesy with you being the parent. Otherwise, they wouldn't mind abandoning you and going their own way to become God-knows-what. They need you until they're grown-ups. And you have to raise them in such a way that they will be deemed trustworthy and honest. I know it sounds a lot like a lecture. But most parents don't understand what a mess they make of their kids when they laugh at their lying children or deem it cute.