Deciding to conceive at 34 and after

As someone entering my thirties, I am still at that stage in my life where there are still so many things to do and take care of before I can finally settle down and decide having a baby. I am married but my husband and I are thinking, it would probably be 4 to 5 years before we can start trying.

Question is, would it be that bad/unhealthy/inadvisable/impossible to have a baby at 34 or after?

I think this is something you'll need to talk over with your doctor... but also you may want to check out the article about this topic on the Mayo Clinic website. ( http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-blog/pregnancy-after-35/bgp-20055825 )

I think the biggest risks, if I recall, are the fact that it's more difficult to get pregnant when we are 35 or older... and there are risks of chromosome abnormalities... and of course, the chance of Down Syndrome is increased after 35.

All that said, women are waiting much later than in the past, and most of the babies born to mothers in their late 30s are fine and healthy.

You will want to ask the doc, though... your own medical history could raise or lower the chances for risk, so it's definitely not an issue you want to guess about.

There are advantages and disadvantages to waiting until you are in your 30's to choose to have children.

Obviously, most people's life are a lot more settled in their 30's. You both most likely have a steady job that you've been with for quite some time. You may also have a decent amount of money put back in savings. Being financially sound makes having a baby a lot easier. You are both also better at making decisions by now. In your early 30's, you still have the stamina to keep up with the demands that a baby is going to bring.

However, if you are wishing to have more than one child, age is going to start to wear on you. It's a lot harder to keep up with a little when once you are past 35. A woman's chances of conceiving drops as she gets older as well. It only drops slightly in the early 30's but as the years progress, starts to decline. The risk of a miscarriage is said to go up as well as chromosome disorders, such as Down Syndrome. Now don't get me wrong, those complications can arise when you choose to have a child younger as well.

Being a child of someone who waited until they were in their 30's, it's also not that easy on the child. By the time that child is in their early 20's, you are in your mid 50's. I remember going to school and everyone constantly thinking my mother was my grandma. I also lost my father in my early 20's.

Thank you so much for your insights. I will definitely take them into consideration. The risk of miscarriage, chromosome disorders and other complications are definitely something I should look out for. A visit to the doctor is definitely in order.

How times have really changed. Being a career woman now requires a lot to balance motherhood and an on-going source of income.

libby9 said:
How times have really changed. Being a career woman now requires a lot to balance motherhood and an on-going source of income.

It really does, yes... but women are also a lot more knowledgeable about how to take care of their health and increase the chances of having a healthy baby even when older as a first time mum.

Times have changed... you're sure right about that. But so many of those changes are extremely good ones... maybe that's just more of the balance you were talking about... trade-offs.

I was pregnant after 35 and had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and child. I have heard of and know a LOT of women who had perfectly healthy children between the ages of 35-40. I think the 40 is becoming the new "35". At 35 doctors will say you entered the high risk category, but really I believe it is more 40, as I really haven't personally heard of any abnormal issues occurring under 40 due to age.

I think the health of your body though is a huge factor. If you are as healthy and fit in your late 30's as you were in your 20's, then I think you have nothing to worry about. But if your health has changed, that might be more of an issue, versus the age you are.

Of course these are all just my opinions from what I've experienced 🙂

You haven't? You're very lucky then. I have both family and friends who had issues, whether serious or not, in their mid to late 30s. I also have a best friend who's a medical professional and his older patients, while mostly fine with a pregnancy, do have varying problems that aren't usually seen in pregnancies prior to age 35.

Bottom line is that the guidelines are in place for a reason... and that reason is to be sure that pregnancy in an older mother (mid 30s and up) is NOT showing any of the risk factors... and of course most often they're not, but we need to seek that medical advice and monitoring to catch anything that *may* be harmful to the baby.

I may know people who smoked and drank their way through a pregnancy and the baby was fine, but it doesn't mean I want to take that risk with my own unborn baby.

Well I'm not saying there aren't guidelines in place for a reason, but even during my pregnancy all my doctors did a little eye roll for me every time they did a test that was required for a high risk pregnancy - not to say the test was unneeded, but just to reassure me it was only a precaution because of my age on paper.

Also I will add most everyone I know that conceived over 35 were career women with advanced degrees, caucasian of northern European decent, healthy (vegans, whole foods type people, etc.) and of normal weight. Maybe that doesn't mean anything, but maybe it does.

In the end it is God who will decide at what age you become pregnant. I don't want to say there is nothing to worry about after 35, but I do want to reassure people who are getting to that age that there are plenty of women who have done just fine. Trying to get pregnant can be stressful enough without adding the worry of your age to it.

Im 35 and have 5 children and feel as though i want another. Ive just started my career as a midwife so my professional head is screaming to me about to increase risk complications, but non the less that want is still there. Im even getting a dog to dampen the feeling down

BarbieDoll said:
Also I will add most everyone I know that conceived over 35 were career women with advanced degrees, caucasian of northern European decent, healthy (vegans, whole foods type people, etc.) and of normal weight. Maybe that doesn't mean anything, but maybe it does.

I don't know what the actual statistics are, but I'd have to think that such a lifestyle would have a lot to do with a healthy pregnancy, yes. Well not the Caucasian factor or decent necessarily, but I'm talking about the health-conscious lifestyle.

And also the normal weight... things like blood pressure wouldn't play so much of a role (although of course people of normal weight can have hypertension as well.)

It is still possible. But your more prone to have complications. From my own advice having kids in an early stage is better because you can keep up with them. Although we are not all the same that choice still remains between you and your spouse. Another advice is you will never be truely ready for a baby. Financially maybe but its more than that. You should get regular check ups and take advice from a professional.

I wanted to also add, that although in my experience the health of the baby hasn't been an issue, what might be more of an issue is being able to get pregnant.

I know we just plan ahead and think, ok, when I hit this age I'll get pregnant and start a family, but it doesn't always work that way. You might get serious at 35 and start trying, but you might not get pregnant until 37. What I have learned as a person who always wanted to control things, is that I am not in control, it is God, and he will decide when the time is right. I had unexplained infertility for 5 years before getting pregnant naturally.

So I do think if you have any inkling of wanting a family sooner than later, it doesn't hurt to stop using birth control methods as soon as possible. You will never "be ready" in your own mind, but it will work out, as it does for everyone.

I had my first baby at 29 and intend to have my second at 34; reason being, I need the first child to grow well enough before a second comes in. Also I am just recovering from the stress of handling a child and settling down in a new country.

I think talking to a doctor will be the most ideal for our decisions when we want to conceive, also living and eating healthy will always put us in the best position to conceive without complications. I don't think there should be much to worry about as long as you stay healthy, good exercise, good diet and a strong mind to receive the new born.

darkchild said:
I had my first baby at 29 and intend to have my second at 34; reason being, I need the first child to grow well enough before a second comes in. Also I am just recovering from the stress of handling a child and settling down in a new country.

Sounds as if you have a lot on your plate there with settling in a new country... and with a child! Your plan sounds like a great one, and very wise.

Living a healthy lifestyle before you conceive again should certainly help to make things go more smoothly, I'd think. I know that you'll be very glad you took the time and concern to figure it all out and plan when you wanted to have your second baby.

How is your child adapting to a new country? Or is he/she too young to notice or voice any opposition? 😀

I'm 27 years old, enjoying my life right now too, but already trying to conceive because we have the same concerns. I'm starting early but secretly hoping to have a child by 30 years old. To answer your question, I think we all now that the earlier the better. But to give you more hope so you wouldn't really pressure yourself, my mom had me when she was 36 years old. My college professor had her first born when she was 40.

I got pregnant when I was just 23 years old. And although it was unplanned, we were quite happy knowing that our baby was very healthy. Since we didn't know that I was pregnant already, the first four months we didn't go to the doctor. Thankfully, nothing bad happened to me or my baby.

My mom though got pregnant at the age of 33 with my sister. I was delivered a year after giving birth to my sister since she got pregnant again after that. We were both given birth normally and didn't have any complications at well.

Like what others have posted, the risks of miscarriages, down syndrome and other complications are higher if you do decide to get pregnant at a later age. However, science and technology are very advanced now and I'm sure your physician can assist you with such issues.

Good luck and take care!

wow really...you make me feel ols suggesting that 34 is too old to make a baby! i am nearing 30 and trying for our third.... 34 is certainly not too old. good luck xx