How Long Did You Wait?

When you were trying to conceive, did you have to wait a long time, or did it happen fairly quickly for you? In my own case, I seriously thought I'd never be able to be a Mama. After I lost a baby, we tried for five long years and I was about to give up.

In the interim, we saw a specialist who was basically useless because he saw no reason we shouldn't be able to conceive... well that's not exactly helpful! So it was just back to the good old fashioned hoping... and subsequent disappointment month after month.

BUT then it finally happened after 5 very long years. 🙂 My daughter was born a preemie... early by 5 weeks, and with a bad scare around month 4, but all was well. She wasn't even 5 pounds, but she's healthy.

All this to say that if you're trying to conceive and it seems like it's not going to happen... keep trying! I'd love to hear some of the stories of other parents on the forum here. Did you try very long? Still trying?

My first child was not planned at all for the most part. The father and I were having sex unprotected so we knew there was a risk of getting pregnant, but we weren't actively trying. It came as a complete surprise. Now that I am in my early 30s, I am ready to try for a second, but it is not going as planned. I am doing natural methods, rather than filling my shelves with lubricants, vitamins, etc. I want this baby to be something conceived of love and naturally, rather than sort of forcing my body to do it. That's just my opinion. In response to how long did I wait, my first is now 12 years old and I've only been "trying" for the second for about a month.

Conceived naturally and in love sounds like a good plan to me, RavenLily! Is your 12 year excited about the thought of a baby brother or sister? Or have you chosen not to share the fact that you're trying yet?

Good luck with adding to your family! Be sure to let us know when it happens so we can celebrate with you. 🙂

Trying to conceive can be extremely stressful. It took us 16 months to get pregnant with our daughter. I naively thought when you decided to get pregnant it would happen easily. I learned that's definitely not the case. After about 10 months we went to the doctor for a referral to a fertility clinic. Typically you're not supposed to see a doctor until after you've been trying for a year but we knew it would take awhile before our referral would be processed (4-6 months).

The fertility clinic does all sorts of tests, some of which are much less pleasant than others (although none of them were terrible). After the tests came back, we learned that I wasn't ovulating properly. They started us on a drug called Clomid and we were pregnant after the first cycle!

My fiance and I were together 6 years before our daughter was born. She was far from planned, but it's not like we tried to prevent pregnancy. When my daughter turned 4 (2 years ago), I decided I wanted another. We have been trying ever since with no luck. I have been told by doctors that I am fine and healthy and I shouldn't have any issues. However, it hurts when everyone around me is getting pregnant, and then here I am and it's not happening.

I have had varying success with conception. My first one "just happened" just like @RavenLily's. That was 19 years ago. After that my husband and I planned for a millennium baby, and it was almost right. I didn't conceive the month we had planned, but it was just a month off.

I've been trying to conceive for the past six years, but no luck. I've adopted four kids since I had my natural two, but I still long to have one more. It has been very frustrating because fertility tests show that I am still fertile and being in my forties should not be a hindrance. It's so frustrating, but I have no plans of giving up just yet.

That's the way, mamajay! I can't really say if it's totally true or not, but I've often heard that sometimes when we stop trying, it happens when we least expect it. Now to me personally that doesn't make a whole lot of sense but since I've heard it so often, there may be something to it, I guess.

You didn't mention it, but I assume that your husband's been tested as well?

Best of luck to you, and I hope you'll share with us here when the happy day happens!

My husband and I got married and right away we tried to have a baby. It took over 9 months to conceive. I thought I would get pregnant right away and each month it seemed stressful, when we finally relaxed about it I got pregnant that month. With our second I got pregnant quickly but then miscarried at 7 weeks. It took another 4 months and we were pregnant again. I had my second son at 42 and feel very blessed to have a healthy child and easy pregnancy. I have many friends who tried to have a second child with no luck. My friend who a high risk OB says that you need to take action to conceive so don't just wait or leave it and see.

I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage, purplepen. 🙁 I've lost a baby, too, and no matter what people tell us to try to make it "better" I know that it never stops hurting. I had to wait for five long years until I got pregnant with my daughter but I'll tell you, finding out was such an extremely happy day!

So glad to hear that your son is healthy and all was well with that pregnancy!

My family has very strong baby makin' genes. It's almost annoying how easy it is to conceive. I wasn't trying with either of my 2 kids, and was actually on birth control when I conceived my daughter. Same goes for my mom, sister, and brother. My oldest brothers wife had her tubes tied after their 2nd, or they'd have more. If we're sexually active, we're making babies. My dad used to joke that my mom could get pregnant in a sterile room, and after 7 kids (plus 3 miscarriages) I believe it. Most of my siblings are within 2 years apart, and any gap more than that was because of divorce. So there's no "trying" in my family, we just do.

It was fairly easy for us to get pregnant. A little to easy..if there is a such thing. We had plans to travel a bit before hand. So when I found out I was pregnant it was a surprise, I was on birth control and had been for a while, but my OB explained that it more than likely happened when I had to double up on a pill the next day. I am very fertile and have gotten pregnant about a month after stopping birth control..it never fails. We have three children currently.

My first child when I was 23, came as quick as simply taking our pants off! She was going to be the only one. Then when she was 5, I got the baby blues and wanted to have another. My husband and I tries for 3 years. We had two miscarriages along the way. After trying for more than three years, we gave up and accepted that we will just have one. Then two months after trying, I got pregnant! The age gap is huge between my oldest and son, but it was well worth it. Then a year after that we had another. I guess it just wasn't time when we were trying the second time.

We had been together a fairly long time and married a couple years before we started trying. It didn't happen right away but within a couple months we, luckily were pregnant. With our other children it took even less trying. Enough so that we have to be extra careful, cause our first two were planned, the third was a little less so!

We had been married about a year when we conceived and it took us 3 cycles to get pregnant. I think I was lucky, for it to happen so quickly - but even after a couple of cycles of it not happening when it felt like we were doing everything "right" when it came to timing and so forth was frustrating.

In saying that though, I can't imagine how hard it is for those TTC for a long time. I was frustrated after a few months of no success...and I have no doubt that sounds positively ridiculous to those who tried for a long time, or who are still trying.

With my first, it took negative one week to conceive. I say that because my calculated date of conception, according to the doctor, was exactly one week before stopped taking birth control. It was just a lucky coincidence that we had planned to start trying. Our second took much longer, almost a year, but we were okay with it.

Well, my husband and I tried to conceive for 2 years. We were like waiting for it to happen that time. All his 4 brothers doesn't have any kids of their own. They're all married for about 10, 15, 20 years. It was scary because we thought that oh.. it might happened to us also. So after 2 years, we decided to consult an OB to know what we can do. The doctor prescribed a medication for me to ovulate. It was scary because there was a time that I thought oh.. there's something wrong. I remember having menstruation but it feels like it is flowing or I'm bleeding. So, I stopped it. I was saying to my husband..you might want to get checked. But it didn't come to that.. like after I stopped the medication, a few months after, I got pregnant with my eldest. less than a year, I got pregnant again, and now, after less than 2 years I'm with my 3rd.

Actually, my first pregnancy was unplanned. We weren't really planning to have a baby back then. Then, came the first month that I didn't get my period... Then another month... And another month. I was even in a denial phase back then simply because we were still so young and not financially stable. But of course, the health of the baby comes first and eventually we did go to the physician to confirm my pregnancy.

Stories like yours though are very inspirational for couples who have a hard time conceiving. I know some couples who are together for a very long time and was not able to have a baby at all. That's why we really need to take care of our children because they are truly blessings from above.

Mariposa I think those people are lucky who conceive immediately right after their marriage. They don’t have to wait in a long queue. But this is not the case with some women. But it’s not mean that they are unlucky. This is because nature just wants to test their stamina. Their thoughts and bravery to fight with the troubles and difficulties. Don’t think that I have gotten everything. That’s why I am speaking in such tone. Everyone has to face the brutality of life in one or other form. I am among them who are sitting on the corner of fate. You get your fruit after 5 years. That’s great. You should celebrate your happiness with great joys. Accept my congratulations. May you have a healthy wealthy life with your daughter. See you soon.

Mariposa I am sorry for you. I don’t know the logic or detail behind your miscarriages. The only thing that I know is it hurts a lot. it leaves a woman alone in the critical phase. But you have to be strong enough to fight with this phase. This requires your stamina that how much pain you can bear. Don’t feel alone we all are with you. hugs to you dear.

I am so happy for you. The long wait and terrible years finally blessed with the fruit. The hard work pays off indeed. I know the initial years do take a toll on your emotional and physical health but trying never ends in smoke. I am starting my surrogacy journey by the end of this month. Never lost hope and kept researching the best way out to my infertility.