trying to conceive mind games

Hi there,

I am on my third cycle now and am on the two week wait! 🙁 I am 32 and have a three and a half year old son, who was the best accident of my life! I so want to give him a sibling and don't want a bigger age gap than there already is. With my son being unplanned I hadn't realised the mental torture of trying to get pregnant. I feel envy when I see other pregnant women, but then get annoyed at myself as I should just be grateful I have my gorgeous son.
Denise

Hi

Your message struck a chord with me, so I felt compelled to reply. I hope you don't mind. I too had a happy but none planned pregnancy 18 years ago. I was 18 at the time and my son is lovely. Seven years ago my husband and I decided to get married and have more family 'the correct way' (if there is such a thing!) However things haven't gone to plan and its really ironic that now we have everything we could possibly need....we haven't been able to conceive. It has broken both of our hearts several times and I too have been through bouts of trying the 'well I should be grateful of the one I have' approach, but it doesn't help much . It's killing me at the moment that my sister in law is pregnant again, and this time, try as I might, I just cant feel happy for her. Instead I feel jealous and upset, which in turn I feel terrible for as that is just not me. I think it's because in the past we have always had hope, but as the years have gone on that is slowly ebbing away. Sorry to be a misery, but thanks for letting me get it off my chest. If I could change anything about the past it would be that I wouldnt have gone back to work and been able to spend more time with my son. I do hope that your efforts to fall pregnant succeed. We have also had 3 attempts at ivf, which nearly worked and we were told were just bad luck, and it works for many, so if you haven't tried that, then it's always an option. I would recommend it for people who have been trying for more than a year. I hope it all works out for you and good luck.

love jea x 😀 🙂