is he too young?

usually my 3yr old boy Sam, likes hot milky in his bed to fall asleep, but a few nights ago we ran out of milk, and he fell asleep without it - no problems. so the following night I told him that the fairies needed milky cups for all the babies that need milky at bed time (cause he isn't a baby anymore he is a big boy!) So that was fine and the next morning I showed im that the cups were gone and he seemed quite excited, although he has decided now he doesn't like the fairies very much lol. But basically eveything was going well and he was going to bed at night with his night light on looking at his books. His Dad and I don't live together, so when he came over the other day I told his dad about the fairies coming and that Sam was a big boy now and didn't need his milky at bedtime, plus I had said to him that Sam will be starting school next year and I would like him to have stopped wetting the bed at night by then, obviously no milky at bedtime will help this (whether or not it will work is another thing!). His Dad didn't approve and because his Dad was there Sam played up at bed time crying to his Dad that he needed his milky. But after a cuddle from his Dad fell asleep. I don't think I am doing my som any harm, and I don't see the point in babying him for the sake of it. Am I being to hard? Is Sam too young?

Hey i dont think your being too hard if he was fine with the situation, but kids will play on parent against the other. The way i see things is yopur son lives with you and the father doesn't have to deal with bed times every night so this should be managed on your terms

thanks for that think I needed to hear it from someone else! sam sees his Dad as the softie and plays up to him, which I would imagine a lot of kids do. I think it was the bed wetting thing that annoyed his Dad. I do realise its probably going to be a long time before Sam stops needing a nappy at bed time but theres no harm taking the first steps!

A child will always make you aware of weather or not they are ready for no nappies and if you try to enforce it to early they will rebel so i think at the moment what your doing seems good

I agree competely with what you have done. I am not a fan of children taking a drink into their bed to help them sleep anyway (there are many dangerous attached to it I think) nothing wrong with a drink before bed snuggled up on the sofa with mum before bed but not in bed as far as I am concerned.

Dad should also copy what you do in my opinion, whether you are together or not you both need to be singing from the same hymn sheet.

did the fairies leave Sam a little something to say thankyou for cups? I think they should leave something as a little reward (doesnt have to be expensive just a token thing)

As for the bedtime nappies, Sam will tell you when he is ready. my HV told me 75% of boys are still wet at night at 5years and 25% at 7yrs. But you are right you can start taking the first steps.xx

because his Dad isn't around all the time he makes up for it with spoiling him, which I possibly might do myself if the shoe was on the other foot, who knows. So often asking him to do as I do is harder than it might seem, especially if he sees Sam getting upset over a rule I have established. Think he is a long way off from being nappy free, but think we are heading in the general direction,sometimes in the middle of the night if his nappy is heavy he gets up changes his own nappy/pull up pants and goes back to bed (bless)so at least he is aware. Anyway I think I will just stick with what I am doing for now, I appreciate the comment about given him a gift back from the fairies, it may help him get over his current dislike for them x

Having read the previous posts I know that this change was something that almost happened by accident. However I am a believer that changes that are being made should be discussed between the parents before they are put into action, regardless of the parents being together or separated.
Being separated from my ex-wife unvoluntarily I feel that I don't have the access or power to make any decisions over my children's future, so it is good to discuss things however small they may appear so that he has some input.

I agree completely that decisions should be made together, parenting is responsibility of both and should be treated that way.if for no other reason other than for Sam to know where he stands, and not try and play us of against each other - which he does already at 3! His Dad only lives round the corner and often comes round to see him after his work, so most things are discussed and worked out fairly well. The biggest problem is that (I suppose because he isn't here all the time)his Dad thinks of him more as a baby than a growing boy. I try hard, I realise it is hard for him. last week he told me that he was so impressed that Sam managed to get dressed by himself, which was something he had been doing for a while, but he obviously hadn't thought to let him do it for himself before (obv I didn't say anything)this is probably just a consequence of him not being around 24/7 but at times it does cause clashes and sometimes I doubt myself - as I'm sure every parent does x