How often does your mil visit you?

How often does your mil visit you? Mine is coming to stay with us for a couple of days in May. She's a good person but when you have a guest the routine changes. I try to keep everything as it is, but when the guest goes away I have a relief...

about once a year lol the same as my mum even thou they live only 20 mins away 😠

We see Rich mum every other day as she takes rich for his dressing changes still

she doesnt visit much as she doesnt drive and we live right across town, but she rings every day and we talk alot.

She usually gives me at least 3 days notice b4 she comes to give me time to clear up

Jer's mum doesn't get up to our place often as she's an hour or so away and doesn't drive. We see her at her home at least once a month and talk every week. She is very keen to spend a lot of time with the baby when he/she arrives so I expect she'll be ordering her bf to bring her up here as much as possible too!

Lou x

I see her practically everyday! She looks after the kids while we both work. If Martin has his 10 days off, she will pop up and come to see the kids 🙂

A plus side to being single no MIL!!!! 😀

Alex said:
A plus side to being single no MIL!!!! :D

I second that. If we were unlucky my MIL used to come to stay once a year. My mum used to visit for a day here or there but never to stay.

My MIL is lovely as is the FIL too 😀 We tend to pop over and see them as they are getting on a bit now. We visit every week or two but they are only about 30 mins away so no need to invite them to stay 🙃

No MIL here 😀

My MiL is practically housebound and even if she could come here, we live in a first floor flat so she wouldn't be able ot get up the stairs.

Ronnie tends to take George to see her and FiL on a Sunday afternoon so I get a bit of me time. I only go once every month or two.

my mil is in another country. south africa so i hardly ever see her but we skype and speak on the phone weekley. when she comes here every couple of years she stays with my hubbys aunt so i see her when she pops round and she doesnt stay at mine

My mil was awsome i loved her to bits sadly she passed away the day after we found out i was pregnant with Vic. 😢
my mum comes maybe once every couple of weeks but mostly i go there.

The only good thing I can say about my MIL is that we hardly see her!

We see Andy's Mum a few timnes a month. She babysites once a month and stops in every now and then as she's only a few minutes away in the car. My Mum I see once a week when she drives through to babysit on Wednesday nights.

As mil's go though, mine aint so bad. She paid for all four of us to go to POrtugal this May! And if we have the money we might get married when we're over there!

we live next door to my MIL and DF works for his mum so every day!

My MIL is over about 6 days out of the 7...and she has always rubbed me the wrong way so it drives me nuts 🙃 but she loves Kel. I just wish she would get the clue that I don't feel comfortable with some of her ways and hubby does not speak up... 🙁

I dont know where to begin,, cutting long story short .. I have been married almost 6 yrs and ours was a love marraige, But with in- laws around, I don’t think so... My husband is a very nice person when he is away from his family, but when his family is around him, I dont know what happens to him, he takes me for granted and he gets influenced very easily with them. First 2 yrs of my marriage when we don’t have our own house we lived with my inlaws especially during weekends and holidays... during that time things didnt work out between me and them. there were frequent little arguments over the household chores.. ,,, they always try to act as if they very caring infront of my husband,, in the morning they both getup early start cooking ,breakfast,, and every thing...They Don't let me do anything at home especially with my husband because they do all of my duties towards my husband instead of me as the wife...Im so stressed.. My husband is a kind of a person he will never say anything to them.. in fact he supports them all the time

At last One day we decided to build our own home and I thought that was the end of my stress..in fact we dont live in the same town... but its very sad thing that one day ive learned that I was being cheated by them because they tolerated my husband to be secretive in his finances by lending money to them ..a big amount of money that caused me pain for not letting me know that kind of important matter..saying that it was not in their culture to do such a big announcement and his parents only reason initially was because i was not the one making money is their son anyway! In the beginning I used to treat them like my parents, but they do everything in their power to make me feel like an outsider in that certain “money issue”, considering I am their son wife they just ignore my right to know that…

One thing more when we visits our in laws, They think that since they don't see their son regularly it gives them every right to monopolize and spend every second with him…they don't leave him for a minute. My husband and I barely get a chance to say anything to each other during the entire 24 hours, I could count on my fingers how many words we exchange during the day. My husbands get maybe few minutes in the day and that too is interferred by my inlaws. Coz we don’t seem to have a moment to ourselves considering were only together on weekends as a couple plus when we are in own house there is constant phone calls by the in-laws to find out personal details that impose upon the time and privacy of your marriage..
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I feel terrrible ..I am a well educated person, earned good amt of money till I stop working because im focusing on my treatment trying to have baby and this is what i get.. my inlaws are always dependent on us financially and they are extremely dominating i am really feeling sick about the whole issue... the only thing that my inlaws wants is to control my husband over things like giving money to them..and to some relatives and neighbors without my knowledge.. ,imagine as the wife i feel by-pass.. involving my husband in every discisions they make without my knowledge. Resulting to disturb my husband time when were together by keeping on minding them.. that’s why sometimes my husband whole system was always irritable by being involved with their different issues not only on money matters, but even their personal conflicts between family members is being brought to my husband as if he is the magician that can turn their conflicts into perfect situation..well in fact its their own choice to be in a problematic situation..they cant solve their own problems..with this,my husband mind was buggling with different problems: our own marital ajustments that we have to deal with..plus adding to much tension from his family own issues.. etc.. But he can work it out because his family members dont have their own effort to be reconciled with one another...thats why issues are just repeating on and on...

I dont know what to do.. have no idea what can be done .. due to the way i have been deceived by them i have almost lost all respect i had.. and i am not sure if i can continue my relationship with them.. on the other hand my husband understands my weaknesses and his parents faults but always tries to make an attempt to keep everyone together... He cannot and i can never ask him to break his relationship.. he tells me that i am the only one who can improve the relationship towards my in-laws.(i dont understand how) when i ask him that how much can i tolerate and this is the end of it.. his reply is that u have set a limit for yourself and only u can change.. feels miserable !!

I feel that life would be so much more peaceful if we didn't have to worry about our in laws. My hubby knows that his parents continually make mistakes after mistakes. Sometimes he tells them off, but he always tells me one thing... that as a son and for the sake of his conscience he wants to do the right thing when it comes to being dutyful and respectful to his parents. He says that let them make as many mistakes as they want, but I want our conscience to be clear.

I feel so helpless and frustrated sometimes, but what to do. Sometimes my inlaws will speak kindly to me, the next day for no reason at all, they will pass sarcastic comments, one day they will have an angry outburst & do everything from abuse to yell to curse in front of me. And yet, I have to bear up with their face.They were Very interfering..

What can I do? The problem is that i love my husband and my husband don't want to do anything wrong. So, im compelled to bear up with some level of nuisance for their sakes.

But, Atleast my husbands stand up for me, atleast he sympathise with me, and try and see things from my perspective. So, in return, I think it's my duty to atleast be respectful to his parents. That's why I think. I avoid spending too much time with them. But, when i spend time, I try to be civil, so that my husband feels proud of me. There are so many women whose in-laws do the same things, and their husbands side their parents... that can be much much worse.

I know it's so sad having this kind of inlaws issues , but im trying to ignore them for the sake of my husband .Although Its really very difficult on my part.. Another thing I've learned is to just make some walk away when they acts mad. In That way I don't have to listen to their nonsense... Or if they insistent about doing this or doing that, I very politely tell them that we have decided this... for this and this reason. Once a decision is made we should not allow our mind to be changed because one of the in-laws voices disapproval. We have a backbone, so we must use it. Problems and conflicts also persist when the one partner fails to correct their unruly parent or family member when boundaries have been breeched.

If they interferes too much in deciding for my husband, , just ignore them or don't involve in their discussion. If my inlaws gives their UNSOLICITED advice, I just play dumb. I sit quietly and continue doing whatever I'm doing as if they are talking to the walls. Then I nod once or twice in between in order to reduce their advice..

How do i keep my peace of mind? Thinking all these things i had gone to depression..
These days I am going through very much stress , im taking treatment to get me pregnant but they are always cancelled..because im always stress out..although doctor has advised me to be happy, peaceful and calm for the benefit of having a baby.. But how can I do that my husband family was very pampered..evertyime we visits them..as soon as I enter the house, I get tensed and whenever I feel the presence of my inlaws around me, I just cant keep my peace of mind. I had gone through lots of suffering and pain in my marriage,. My husband keeps on pushing me to have a good relationship with them and understsand their family, I tried at times but that never got succeeded. When Im away I always think that let me leave the past and have good relationship with them but as soon as they are in front of me , I forget all things and all my old feelings come back. The situation is that my whole body chemistry changes whenever I feel a presence of them and the irony is that we are only visiting them once in a while..

I am very much tensed and stressed out , I really cant understand what to do. Moreover I want to have a baby,, and I want my baby to be fun loving kid. But how I can be happy in this situations.

ANY COMMENTS/OPINIONS WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED, THANX!!!

Hi Beth!I'm so sorry you have undergone all of this. I know it's difficult but they're your husband's family and you can't change that. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and if he could do something to change because you're not happy. If you want to have a baby you need to relax more to enjoy your pregnancy. 😘

THANX SUMMER! pls continue praying for me! i dont know really how to handle this..my husband is very loving person..but sometimes he dont know how to prioritized things i talk to him already and he told me he will be more focus on our marriage..he was having hard time since he was the bread winner of his family..and i think my in laws take that advantage..they dont realized that their son is already married and has responsibility already..thanx a lot for your insights! keep me posted!