I need help and advice (yes again lol)

This is my birth story, and being a seriel stalker of all baby sites LOL i posted on another about how im still suffering (nightmares, flashbacks etc..) and nearly all the replies were bad to me, saying i should be over it now and it wasnt traumatic.
of corse hearing those did break my heart becuase obviously im the only one that can really describe what happened to me.
It would be of a great favour if you all could kindly read the birth as linked above and give me your honest oppinion - even if its not the one i wanna hear.
I thank you all very much for readin this and should you do so reply too, it does mean alot to me - so does the friends ive already made off this site, i lov you all soo much xxx thanks ppl xxx

(remember honest oppnions plz)

The birth of a baby should be a truly memorable one but yours is for all the wrong reasons. I think we all build up in our head the type of birth we want and if we dont get it, it can be very upsetting.

You were treated appallingly in that hospital and it seems the more I read stories about births the more obvious the care isnt there anymore. That isnt necessarily the fault of the midwives though and on the whole I think the do a wonderful job. There is such a shortage of midwives though that they are unable to cope with the pressures of the job when they are covering shifts that really a fresh person should.

I think you are truly within your rights to still feel down about the birth of your baby and if you are still seeking help I hope you can finally come through the other side.

If you want to talk via MSN my addy is ali3781@msn.com
take care
Alison
x

Anyone who tells you to 'get over it' hasn't got a clue. You are completely within your rights to feel however you do. I can't relate personally as i was lucky enough to have pretty straightforward births, but my mum had to have a general when she had me and i know from talking to her what an impact that lost time can have. Sorry if im not up on stuff you have posted previously, i havent been here a lot. If you child is still young then of course it will be hard, with so much to deal with anyway. If you want an extra body to natter to send me your email on private msg and i can pop you onto my msn.

No-one can make this go away for you, that is something i guess will just happen with time and talking, but do try to take comfort, everyone here would hug you and make it go away if we could xXx

OOOPs just given wrong msn address. should be ali3781@hotmail.co.uk

Hi, I agree with Hipmomma - anyone who says you should be 'over it' by now really hasn't got a clue. You are not to blame for any of it and you need to tell yourself that. Have you tried any kind of counselling? Personally I don't know if I could do that but those that I know who have tried it say it has helped them. My sister went for hypnotherapy because of her stress disorder and it has really helped her and she was made a recording so when she feels herself going down the slippery slope she can sit with the tape on and listen and it really calms her down.
Obviously u were going on the wrong parenting sites if they were telling you bad things. You need support not criticism. Good luck to you and I hope it all works out and you can begin to see a way forward xx

Ok please don't be offended but you did say "honest opinions please".
I have to say that although your story wasn't a nice birth experience I have on the other hand heard much worse and many similar to yours but the people telling them were not as traumatised as you seem to be. Plus I think maybe you took some things as an insult or personal attack that were actually being said for your own good so you didn't tear your stitches,etc. Having said that I had natural births both times and I think if I'd had to have c-secs I'd have been quite freaked out so I do feel for you in that respect.
At the end of the day we could all give supportive feedback or negative feedback but inside you would still feel the same;and you obviously do feel very strongly about it to have posted on here on two seperate occasions about it. Just talk it out with the people you love as much as you can so that you can get support and a cuddle and remember what a beautiful thing came out of that horrible experience 👶

Thank u for all ur replies.
I know what happened to me is proberly because of the midwife shortage, and thanks for the msn adress and the very valuable information.
I must admit when this forum of about 20 odd different memebrs were tellin me to get over it i thought it was a little strange.
I am recieveing counciling at the moment and it seems to be making some good - it helps to talk to some one not even in the equation.

i will be addin ya to msn hun i lov all my msn mates 🙂

Thanks again, xx

Actually I know two friends who both say that the birth of their first baby was so traumatic that they will never have another. I don't think giving birth is ever the wonderful event that it's made out to be, it's painful and scary and often doesn't happen as you hope it will.
Usually, people get over it and forget given time, but for others it takes much longer and thats just the way it is. People definately shouldn't be telling you to Get over it, thats hardly helping