10 weeks of HELL!!

Hello, Please can anybody offer any advice, My 4 year old son started school mid September, since he started we have had nothing but trouble, with regards to Harry's behaviour, (Harry screams and sometimes he can scream quite loudly, the advice i was given for his screaming was purely to ignore it and he would stop, it's working at home!!). Because of this screaming Harry is only being allowed to attend school for 2 hours, each day (Because his teacher's cannot cope and don't know how to deal with him). So far since starting school we have been told after 2 separate observations (each lasting approx 45mins) by 2 different people (a hospital consultant and education psychologist), Harry may have Mild Autism, ADHD, OCD and Asperger's, i really don't know whether i'm coming or going, how can these people claim to know what's wrong with my little boy in such a short time!!

😬

They really can't make such an abrupt diagnosis. He just started school for the first time. This is typical for seperation anxieties. All children react differently and it's a shame that the teachers are giving up so easily. How are you working with the teachers to establish a consistant routine when dropping him off? What do you do when you drop him off? How long do you stay?

It seems a very hasty diagnosis to make, if they suspect any of the things you have listed he would need further observsations/ tests.
I dont think allowing him only 2 hours a day is a good thing because there will be problems when it comes to increasing his hours. You and the school should be working together to find a solution to the problems or at leastr a way forward (visual timetables/aids, reward sytems, social stories to help him learn about a change in routine)

Do you have any concerns with him or his behaviour at home?

I drop him off with the receptionist at 1pm every lunchtime, i don't stay with him at all. He seems fine going into school, but he screams when it's time to do scheduled activity with the rest of the children, i have tried to suggest things to the school that i do myself with him at home, such as ignore his screaming, (i know this can be difficult when you have 23 other children to attend to!!, but that's how i managed to settle his screaming at home.) timed activities, via a clock, thanks to his SLT we now have a visual timetable at home so he can see what he has to do and when, school are supposed to use a similiar one, also given to them by his SLT, but they aren't using it. I ring almost on a daily basis, to try and speak to the special needs teacher, but she is always unavailable!!

After speaking to my GP about a second opinion, He has just been refered to CAMHS, where he will be properly observed and tested.

Other than his screaming at home his behaviour seems just like any other four year old.

It does sound, by his desire, to scream that something frustrates or irrates him, and I think your GP sounds good and referring him for other tests is good. I also think they SEN teacher is poor for not getting back to you and trying to help with what is a difficult situation for you and for son.

Visual timetables are great, shame the school dont use it when it obviously helps at home. Im not sure how the English School system works but I would think reception classes are a whole day thing 9-2.30 and by only allowing him 2 hours a day he is missing out on so much, not only the academic side of things but the Social, emotional side.

My nephew who is now almost 21 years old 😲 was sort of diagnosed with ALL of the things you listed and then some, never has a doctor been able to really pin point what is wrong with him and he's been seeing different dr's since he was about 5 or 6 yrs old... up to which point he was a very "normal" child development-wise.

I hope you will get some good answers and help with your son, it's been a long struggle for my sister and family but my nephew is a sweet, semi-independantly functioning adult now, but my sister will always have the gift of not having "let go" of him as he will always need her 🙂 ...

A second opinion is a really good idea, but an early diagnosis may be a great thing to help you guys on your way to dealing with a problem if there is one instead of years of not knowing what is wrong or how to help him.

Good luck to you and your family hun 😘

Your almost right with the times, he should attend 8.55 - 3.15, but he only goes 1.00 - 3.15, which as you say is no good for him, the school have also excluded him from a school trip to the threate, in early January, a trip to the church for the annual carol concert and from the school play!! I feel as though the school are discriminating against him, because he screams.

The education psychologist has said Harry struggles with social, emotional and imaginative play. And he has discovered all of these things after observing him for just 45mins. But i feel he will never be able to develop these skills without mixing with his peers at school. We have started asking his friends round to play, and he has been to play at one of his friend's houses.

my neice has adhd and a mild form of ocd, she cannot tolerate change we had something similar when she started primary and she went to secondary school in september and we had it all over again she did settle down eventually, seeing was my sis went thru was frustrating and i love my neice dearly and would love her to come and stay with us but because its change she wont have it. they did an assessment with the hospital and school for her diagnosis and the results were identical. i hope harry will settle but it is hard for both of you, but the school should have some knowledge on how to cope with children with this problem

😘 to you all

I would get a meeting with the Head teacher, Harry' teacher and the SEN teacher if she is available. Something needs to be done to move him forward and help him at school. Dont let them fob you off, they have a responsibility to you and Harry. Start writing down ALL the questions you have to ask them, it is easier to have them written down than think of them at the time (and then forget something). Can they not ask you to attend these events with him if they don't have enough adults to support him? Seems a shame to exclude him from EVERYTHING. And if the Ed Psychologist has been in to observe him, what is his report and his way forward?

As a teacher myself, I think working with the parents is the only way to help a child, we both have to be siniging from the same hymn sheet.

Thats good that he has his friends to play and he has been to play.

You have my sympathy's hun. My aunt struggled for a good while to take her seriously about my cousin. He has got dyspraxia (sp) and no-one really wanted to know or help. She rang the hospital directly in the end and got him in with someone and eventually she got the answers she needed.

For both preschool and kindergarten my daughter went to school half days. Tis is because most kids aren't old enough to handle full days and most kinder teachers work at other schools too. At least in Canada they do.
I'm not going to tell you what to do with him. But my daughter is in grade 1 now and the school is very strict on how parents handle their kids at home. If you let your kid scream and cry at home you might wanna try an alternative method rather than just let scream it out. it's not that your way is wrong, it's the fact that the world is now one big parent monitoring mess. Trust me. First it will be school therapists. Next the school psychologist. Next, a referal to the childrens development for assessments and no sooner than you can blink you have army of "professionals" trying to tell you that your the reason or his problems and will tell you what to do about it or else. I know. I've been putting up with this cr** for years.
Best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😘

Hello Everyone, Hope you all had a good christmas!! I recieved some really good news before Harry finished school for the xmas break, Harry will be returning back to full-time education when he goes back to school on monday (5th Jan). He has received enough funding for a teaching assistant to work part-time and the school have provided the rest of the funds for the TA, so he can work full-time. Hopefully new year, new start!! 😀

Brilliant news. I hope it works out well for him and he settles in 😘

😀 That sounds great,hope it all goes well and he enjoys school.

Fab news hun, i really hope it works for you and Harry starts enjoying school! 😀 Xx

Great news. I hope this is now a new start from Harry.