troublesome teenagers.

how do we get through the teenage years. all i try do is the best for my son. yet he does not see this in the slightest.

Hi, welcome to JP... I've moved your post to the Parenting Forum....

What seems to be the issues hun? This is a very supportive parenting site so hopefully you will get some advise here.

I know my mum wouls have said i was an ungrateful teenager at times. I'm sure a lot of our mums would? However it is hard to help without more information hun. I hope things get easier for you. Oh and welcome to JP Xx

i so know what you mean, kids they lose all the manners they learn when they are little and just grunt! My boy is 14 and hasnt spoken since about 2006!

what seems to be the problem hun? x

mum2popsnjak said:
I know my mum would have said i was an ungrateful teenager at times. I'm sure a lot of our mums would? However it is hard to help without more information hun. I hope things get easier for you. Oh and welcome to JP Xx

I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my mom recently. Teens seem to not hear a thing their parents say. Some will even use this long time belief to excuse any consequences that happen to them. As if age has anything to do with bad decision making. Even adults have their moments. But the truth of the matter is, is that teens do hear what you say. They are not deaf. (Except those that actually are) It's they're responsibility to obey to comprehend what could be the results of their actions.
Teens are craving independence. Adulthood is only a mere few years ahead. They are also really wanting advice from you. The parent has to be willing to keep an open mind on topics that are tough. Parents need to be unjudgmental and not so quick to assume that their teen is up to no good.
Also, there is way too much media sensationalism of bad kids causing adults to automatically think that all kids and teens are bad and getting worse. Defend your kids and get out to everyone what good your teen is doing for your community or in school. please!

Lucy said:
i so know what you mean, kids they lose all the manners they learn when they are little and just grunt! My boy is 14 and hasnt spoken since about 2006!

hi lucy. my sons just thirteen. last week i find him going out with a bunch of kids i never met before.As far as i am concerned they are not good friends for him to have.I feel i have brought him up better than that and i just hope he has the sense to take himself away from them.up until then it was just moodiness etc in the house. i could just about cope with that. but i find his association with his new friends upsetting. 🙁

whizzymizzy said:

Lucy said:
i so know what you mean, kids they lose all the manners they learn when they are little and just grunt! My boy is 14 and hasnt spoken since about 2006!

hi lucy. my sons just thirteen. last week i find him going out with a bunch of kids i never met before.As far as i am concerned they are not good friends for him to have.I feel i have brought him up better than that and i just hope he has the sense to take himself away from them.up until then it was just moodiness etc in the house. i could just about cope with that. but i find his association with his new friends upsetting. 🙁

I understand what you say there, but i have found making a fuss and shouting at him wont make a difference.

Im not saying that you should let him do what he wants but you can sit down and discuss this with him, its purely up to him to take the advice. You may find that once you explain that these people are not what you wnat for him then he may think about what you have said.

My Tom is 14, he doesnt make the best choices but i have decided hes old enough to choose, either get into trouble with me or piss off the police. Hes knows wholl be harder on him.

He wants to be a Police man and so he cant afford to get into any trouble, and i have found that meeting his friends and encouraging them to come over and speak to me means that he has a good group of kids that he associates with and im happy with that. He has his black moods i put that down to being 14!

When i think back to when i was 14 mny parents were the same, i made my own choices, saw for myself that what i was doing wasnt good. Made me sit up and think dont do this and dont get intro trouble it will haunt you forever! And I have also found that I once was a teen whatever he does ive probably done and i will find out, i have eyes and ears everywhere all over the village and someone will tell me, so he wouldnt dare do anything too bad!!!!!

A work colleague caught him bunking off from school once, the next day she mentioned it and then i got to thinking that he should have been in school that day, caught redhanded sunshine!!!!! He wouldnt have known her but shed seen his picture on my desk and recognised him instantly!!!

So my advice is keep an eye on him, dont nag too much, let him make his own choices to a certain extent and talk to him. Dont isolate him, dont make him feel he cant talk to you. He may open up more than you know, and most of all tell him every day that you love him.

Boys i think keep their feelings in and they dont say too much, but you have said you have raised him well and i think that you should be proud of your boy, praise himn for everything good, and sometimes its ok to ignore the little things (unless they are knife weilding skinheads who start fights).

I wish you all the luck in the world. :hugs: