am i being silly?

Thank you for your replies, had a hard week of it, so much more to it but bit paranoid about whether i may be recognized from what was written so deleted to make sure.
Not sure this is really for me as im too nervous about explaining things in detail and that is what this is all about but thank you i really appreciated your comments.

I can understand I think..... Anytime someone tries to "take over" can be annoying.... hopefully you won't have to deal with this relative on a regular basis?

i think you need to tell her thats not what you wanted and you specifically told her that the bowls provided were for the jelly.

Whilst you appreciate her help, it would be nice if she had done what you asked her to do.

You appreciate her help, but you prefer to do stuff yourself as you have specific requirements that perhaps she didnt quite undertand.

Say perhaps next time you would ask her to help but this had take some planning to get right and the jelly was the one thing you had decided on a specific thing.

Either that or ignore it, dont give her the opportunity to help out next time.