Need advice on friends babt at 6months in 18month clothing

Friends baby girl is 6 months but already in 18months clothing as she is a really hefty weight. The health visitor hasn't been visiting her as they had a falling out when her babe was just 8 weeks. It is a hard situation as she had a son who was severely handicapped who died aged 14 when baby was just 6 weeks old. When I asked how she was feeding the baby she said on demand. However when i spent day with her every 2 hours she was putting the bottle in the babies mouth even when the babe was trying to turn their head away she was pushing the bottle in the babes mouth. I know she needs help to deal with her bereavement am concerned about the baby's joints.

im sorry that your friend is dealing with this, its obviously her coping mechanism.

she could be depressed due to the birth of her child and due to losing her other child.

i suggest she sees a dr

Maybe you should gently talk to her about how she is feeling. Perhaps she doesn't realise how often she is feeding her LO? I'm sure there is another HV in the area who could help? Every 2hrs for feeds a 6mths is quite excessive? Is she weaning too? I'm sure she just isn't thinking straight at the moment and who could blame her! She could well be suffering from depression. A lot of mums seem to use feeding as a way of showing love. Perhaps she feels feeding her up is a way to keep her healthy? It does sound as though she is rather large as 18mth old clothing is a lot bigger than 6mth old clothing. I have the opposite problem, my 2 1/2yr old is sill in 18-24mths (some stores she is still in 12-18mth) and my 8mth old is still in 3-6mth. The just don't want to fatten up? lol. tbh it could cause health problems as you are worried about if she carries on gaining weight at such a pace. I would maybe gently advise her on some weaning foods etc, maybe that will take her attention away from feeding her so often, if her time is taken up preparing food to freeze? If ahe doesn't want to see a HV or GP there really isn't much that can be done. But just stay as a good friend and listen and be there when she needs you. Sorry i couldn't be much help! Xx

You need to try and persuade her to seek some help before social services get involved - and they will!
My Mum teaches and the powers that be are so paranoid about obesity that the teachers have to weigh and measure the children and keep records!
She does sound majorly depressed but I fear unless she seeks help soon it could get a lot worse 🙁

Oh dear, your friend sounds like she has a lot to cope with and really isn't dealing with it too well.

I'm no psychiatrist but it sounds like she has not dealt with the bereavement properly and is overly focusing on keeping her baby healthy the only way she can comprehend, but making sure she's being fed well. To be in 18 month clothing at her age is very worrying. However, was she a large weight when born?

I would try and get her to see a doctor or perhaps a bereavement counsellor and see if she can get to the root of the problem.

I can't believe that a HV would just walk away and not get someone else to go visit your friend. Sounds very pathetic to me. Your friend, like every new mum, deserves good care and attention from the professionals.

I hope you manage to help her sort it out. You are a very good and caring friend to have 😘