omg! quite taken back by this

not sure where to put this but ill try here
at school there was a girl who really didnt like me and would constantly call me names and be pretty nasty to me. anyway ive just got this message from her on facebook

'yes im sorry i dont know why we never got on its quite sad to think how horrible kids can be to each other. Sorry if i ever upset you, i was a bit of a cow at times an i didnt exactly hang out with the nicest of girls. Not that im saying they mede me be like it i am totally accountable for all my actions. When my name is Earl started i thought to myself i should make myself a karma list an i thought of you. I'm so sorry stacey if i ever upset you. If i ever found out my kids were like me, i'd be upset. x'

i was quite taken back by it.

Wow? I'm not sure how i would feel about it either. It is obviously something she still has on her conscience, and she seems to want your forgiveness and to be told that it is ok. I suppose it goes to show that that we all have insecurities, and people who seem as confident as anything can be suffering inside? However, i was bullied terribly at secondary school and even now i think i would find it hard to forgive the perpetrators (one girl in particular) who made my life hell for 5 years. Maybe it takes a bigger person than me to forgive and forget? 🤔 Xx

Wow.... I don't know exactly what she put you through but I think it was really big of her to send you that message! Can't believe good ol' Earl is having such a positive effect!! I knew it was a great show! She may be also in some type of rehabilitation 12 step program (ie: AA) and one of the steps is to confront people you've hurt in the past. Years ago I got a phone call from an ex boyfriend who was in a rehab program and wanted to apologize for things he put me through because of his drug habit... I accepted it and hoped he'd move on and get better... unfortunately he didn't 🙁

How are you feeling about it Stacey?? Did it make you feel at all better? 😘

do you know what i had the same thing happen to me, i dont hold grudges, but in this case i do!

i am a member of Friends Re-united, and i was messaged by a girl who bullied me from the age of 6 right up to 15 when i left school, she just couldnt let it go, she was as your friend put it a right cow!

She posted in her blog about herself that she was horrible and she personally apologised to me on her page.

OK that was a nice thing, but hey, 30 years it took for that and the years of abuse she put me through, why the f*** should i accept her apology, why the f*** should i forgive her?

Anyways, i couldnt find it in my heart to forgive her, i will never forget what she did to me, but i sometimes thank her because it made me a strong person and able to take what life chucks at me, but to forgive and forget takes a lot!

She once suggested we got together for coffee, no dont think so lovey!

Anyways, i think that whatever you decide you should do it for you, not to ease her bruised consicence or to put right a wrong that happened years ago, if shes just feeling guilty about it, then thats her pennance.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive her, then you are a much bigger person than me!!!

Whatever you decide will be a great one and I wish you a ton of luck.

xxx

i hope that it helps

it must of taken alot to admit to being a total cow and saying sorry

nothing can change the past but a sorry can go a long way if you let it

😘

thanks ladies. im a bit confused actually. throughout my whole secondary school she hated me. was awful and had me in tears quite alot. didnt help im a redhead was a bit chubby and wore braces you know? it 'ended' when she pushed me down these 3 steps. she caught me on a real bad day as i used to suffer really bad pms. anyways i turned round and she was on her own and we ended up fighting. i threw her against some lockers. im soooo not a violent person but i suppose theres only so much you can take. she never said anything to me after that

thing is i dont want to hate her. my ex husband was abusive and i spent too many years hating him. it doesnt do you any good. anyways im thinking of letting bygones be bygones. its not like im going to ever see her again. we live 300 miles away lol

You're a bigger person than me, I hold grudges big time. I have had people on facebook 'friends request' me who I have denied. One particular one who has requested me twice but I don't want to know. To me it's like what's the point? It's called a 'friend request' not a 'I used to f***ing hate you request'.
But then I guess it's different for you because this woman has openly admitted she was a cow and that she is sorry which I think shows she must have changed and grown up now so if you think you can forgive then that's good.Everything happens for a reason 🤔

perhaps if you can 'forgive' her then it will ultimately help you move on too

Elementary said:
perhaps if you can 'forgive' her then it will ultimately help you move on too

yr probably very right there. i dont see the point in going on 'hating' someone for something that happened years ago and when we were kids too. everyones pretty much different from when they were 15

😘 Do what ever makes you happy Stacey,as you said its not as if you are going to be seeing each other and hanging out together so either choice its your call(i would let her grovell and beg a bit longer lol).

I have forgiven people in the past but i have NEVER forgotten !!! 😛
I think it was most of those horrible experiences that made me not only a stronger person but a more kind and caring one at that.
(geez i make my self sound like mother Teresa ) 😊 lol

jo-jo said:
:kiss: Do what ever makes you happy Stacey,as you said its not as if you are going to be seeing each other and hanging out together so either choice its your call(i would let her grovell and beg a bit longer lol).

I have forgiven people in the past but i have NEVER forgotten !!! 😛
I think it was most of those horrible experiences that made me not only a stronger person but a more kind and caring one at that.
(geez i make my self sound like mother Teresa ) 😊 lol

no hun you make perfect sense and i hope what happened has helped me become a stronger and much more caring person 😀 .

I actually don't hate the girls (one in particular) that mantally and physically bullied me for over 5 years as, like has already been said they made me the strong person i am today. However i personally would find it too hard to forget what was done to me and just couldn't bring myself to speak to this particular girl ever again. I don't let it eat me up inside, which i think is all to easy to do. I don't wish her ill or anything i just don't think an apology would be enough for me after everything that happened? I do however think that if you can accept her apology then you are a much bigger person than me, i hope, if you accept her apology, she realises how lucky she is and what a great person she used to bully! Xx