Getting married after loss of partner - how soon??

My SIL lost her mum to cancer last year.

I found out today that her dad is getting married again this year and they have been engaged a few months.

I, personally, think this is far too soon after the loss of his wife. He spent many years with her and they were always happy and the loss devastating.

If you were to lose your wife/husband, how long would you leave it to remarry???

xx

I don't think you can put a limit on these things. I think it comes down to the individual person. Many people who loose family to terminal cancer grieve before the death because the know it is going to happen.

I think it is too soon but at the end of the day it is up to the people involved

thats a hard one i do think it up to the individual but either way someone going to be upset.

Alex said:
I don't think you can put a limit on these things. I think it comes down to the individual person. Many people who loose family to terminal cancer grieve before the death because the know it is going to happen.

I think it is too soon but at the end of the day it is up to the people involved

There wasn't much time for grieving to be done. They only found out she had cancer a couple of months before she died 🙁
x

😘 this is a hard one

i think that its up to the individual and that they should do what they want. Its nothing to do with you what they do and they should be allowed to get married if thats what they want.

they may just want the company for each other.

I've heard its quite common for men to marry again fairly soon.

I suppose if he's happy then it's OK. I'm sure it doesn't mean that he didn't love his wife, just that maybe he misses the company.

😘 x

Lucy said:
i think that its up to the individual and that they should do what they want. Its nothing to do with you what they do and they should be allowed to get married if thats what they want.

they may just want the company for each other.

I know it's nothing to do with me!! It is interesting to hear other people's opinions on what they would do if they were in the unfortunate situation of losing a loved one and then moving on.

I hardly know the guy that well and have only met him a handful of times, it was just shocking to hear that they have been engaged a few months and his wife hasn't even been buried a year yet! He has 2 grown up children who are still in effect grieving for their mum and my bro and SIL have only just had another baby. Her mum didnt even know she was expecting.

xx

My uncle was with another lady right after my aunty died (it crushed me)as i thought he was trying to replace her.As everyone has said i think it depends on the need of company or what they were used to.My uncle had EVERYTHING done for him so i guess in a sense he freaked out thinking he would be all alone and have to do everything him self??????????(he was a very selfish man).
I know how much it hurt my father(it was his sister) and my/our extended family but it really had nothing to do with us at the end of the day as he was a grown man with a mind of his own.
Its a hard question i guess it depends on the circumstances.???

I can understand seeking someone else for comfort, friendship, maybe even a relationship but I can not imagine beginning to think about marriage that soon. I don't even know if I could marry again. I'm not saying I'd be single the rest of my life but I'd still be so in love with my husband I think even if I loved someone else I couldn't give 100% of myself to them for a very long time; certainly not a year later!
I suppose some people are the opposite and cling on to a new relationship to help take their minds off the emotional pain.

i think sometimes when you get a point in your life when you find love again after your partner passed of a terminal illness you marry for companionship.

I wouldnt not ask chris to hang about and mope around after id gone and the kids would understand if they are adults theyll accept it well.

people deal with greif in so many ways. Hes dealing with it by taking another partner.

All power to him! And i understand that the children and family left behind are greiving but i think maybe the deceased wouldnt want it to go on for ever.

People move on, they dont forget just move forward with their lives.

I think hes done a courageous thing and i wish him all the luck in the world

this is a subject that upsets my james. he lost his mum when he was 11yrs old. she died in the january and james' dad married in the november. james says its like his mum never meant much to his dad. but i guess thats just the way some people are x

I think for everyone it is different. Whatever feels right for them. However, it sounds like this situation is a bit quick and it makes you wonder if he is just trying to avoid the pain of a loss. If he is happy though than I guess it would be alright 🤔

This is a horrid situation

I would find it very hard to accept it, but i guess i would have too.

I would be gutted if i was replaced easily, but i really do think it is often more about having company!!!

xxx

Everybody copes with things in different ways and at different speeds. You can't set a time limit on such a thing as this, but I think that to be looking at getting married less than a year after the loss of your wife seems a little quick.

I mean it took me a long time to decide that the woman I married was the right one (i.e. a few years) and then that was just getting engaged.

Perhaps he knew this person before and they had been close friends and this just sort of developed afterwards. I guess the most important consideration is how his kids feel about it. I think I would feel a bit upset that it had happened so quick if I was one of the kids.