Some alternative nursery rhymes

JACK AND JILL went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.

LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothing all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon "Pies, you dumbass!"

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good, she was very, very good
But when she was bad, She got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car..........

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE,, the cat did a piddle
All over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
When it died of electrical shock.

GEORGIE PORGEY- Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

omg they r so funny thanks for cheering me up today

😀 I loved them! Thanks for them!

I use to watch Brian Connolly Show when he did Mystic Smeg, (Or something like that,) and he said a rhyme quite funny and I can't remember it..

It was Mary had a little lamb...Then something about cutting it into chops??? 🤔

Don't suppose anyone knows?

Danielle x

hi dannielle i cant quite remember the rhyme u r on about if it comes to me i will let u no but i do remember the programme u are on about and it was septic peg hunni i loved that bit i will ask about and let u no if i can get u the rhyme babe

😀 Great stuff. made me smile on this miserable Friday night 😀

bunnigirl said:
hi dannielle i cant quite remember the rhyme u r on about if it comes to me i will let u no but i do remember the programme u are on about and it was septic peg hunni i loved that bit i will ask about and let u no if i can get u the rhyme babe

Chuckles! You still knew what I was on about hun 😊

Danielle x

Danielle said:

bunnigirl said:
hi dannielle i cant quite remember the rhyme u r on about if it comes to me i will let u no but i do remember the programme u are on about and it was septic peg hunni i loved that bit i will ask about and let u no if i can get u the rhyme babe

Chuckles! You still knew what I was on about hun 😊

Danielle x

i no i did hunni sad aint i sad hunni but like i sad i am on the search for the rhyme and will let u no asap

Thought some others would like this and I was right.

http://www.annabelkarmel.com/forums/forums/thread/32200.aspx