2008

This has been a very different year for me. I became a Mum on Nov 10th 06' and threw myself right into it. Andy and I have managed to keep our relationship fun and I've somewhat managed to integrate motherhood into my life. Now that I'm pregnant again though, I've been taking a look at how another baby will affect me and how having Darla has already affected me.

I'm definately not the same person I was before I had Darla. I have the same personality and enjoy doing the same things, but I have come to realize that I rarely leave any time for just me. I haven't read a book since I was pregnant, I don't write anymore and financially we haven't come off too well this year because Andy has been unable to work due to illness and I couldn't find a job that made it worth coming off social security benefits. So as a couple we have hardly been out at all this year. I can probably count it all on one hand.

So next year my goal is to be a little bit more selfish. Andy's never quite picked up the habit of getting up before noon while I was sort of thrown into early mornings and it's stayed that way. I know he's been ill, but there have been more lazy days for him than sick ones.

I'm going to find out about child care for Darla, mainly so she can have play with children of her own age and develop those essential social skills. Also because with the new baby coming I need some time to figure out how to move forward from here. It's hard to think straight with Darla running around!

I know that I've lost toch with myself this year. Apart from a Mum, I don't really know what or who I am anymore so I have to figure that out rather than just going with the flow constantly and seeing how things will pan out. It might be hard but it's some sort of plan at least!

Are any of you feeling this Philosophical right now? The whole New Year's resolution and "time for change" thing never really appealed to me before. I guess it just depends on how bad you need to kick yourself in the ass at times!

hiya hun i know how you feel. i became a mum for the first time nov 26th '06 and am also pregnant again due 22nd june '08. since i had my lil girl nothing has been the same in my household.
when i was 3months pregnant with her we had a big argument it ended with him punching a wall and the door and then going down the pub.
we had another arguement 3days before i was due threatening to leave me. then ever since iv had her he suffers from this illness called lazyitis lol and hes not ill.
he'll stay in bed and leave me to do everything he has never done the night time feeds. i never go out i spend everyday inside the four walls of my flat he goes out to pubs and clubs about three times a month.
im exastered all the time im on iron tablets suffer from high blood pressure so am petrified about when the second one arrives.
i dont want to be left to deal with two young kids on my own but i already feel like a single mum.
there is one thing i do i take charly to a mother and baby group is for pregnant women and mums with babys to 5or6 years old you sit and chat while the kids go and play its a lovely atmospere and very safe gets us both out for 3hours she loves it playing and then they have drinks and fruit or biscuits or lil nibbles and tea and coffee. have you got anything like that in your area??
believe me hun i do know how you feel but the only thing we can do is just deal with it the best we can and carry on really. pray things get better whens your next one due?
if you ever need a chat please just email or if you have msn i can give you my addy.
all the best hun xxxx

Oh ladies i really feel for you!

Honestly things will get better - honestly they really, really will!

When Georgie had just turned one Mark lost his job - which ended up in lengthy employment tribunal which carried on for over a year! I was at the time a sahm at the time, it was xmas and just before he lost his job his companny stopped paying him his wages so i went and got a casual temp job at argos which paid peanuts but put a little food on the table. The little money he did get paid went nowhere. When he eventually lost his job he became very ill and was diagnosed with severe colitis (similar to IBD). We couldn't afford to pay rent, buy xmas pressies, pay for electric nothing!

Being a sahm i had completely lost my identity - as we live in the middle of nowhere but when he lost his job it was horrendous, i cried all day everyday - we could not get help with benefits they took 6 months to even look at forms we filled in. Dp could get job seekers but was not well enought to work so it was stopped.

I then found a full time job but it was 20 miles away from where we live. I don't drive so Mark was taking me to work at 6am in the morning on one shift and picking me up at 11pm on the other shift.

Mark decided to set up his own business, which we did from scratch - we are unable to get decent loans or funding due to our credit history thanks to his divorce 8 years ago where his ex wife did not pay off loans etc that she was supposed to with the money from the sale of the house so the debts keep getting passed from agent to agent etc etc. So my salary was there to get me to and from work, hold the household together and start the business.

Anyway i suffered from a m/c did not know that i was pg and lost twins at 13 weeks. I went back to work tyhe following week and dp's condition thankfully started to be controlled with medication. But we started to get depressed were at each other all the time and drinking far too much!

I changed jobs in Feb last year and am now a Hotel Reception / Duty Manager in a 4* Deluixe Hotel and dp's business is going from strength to strength! He's just secured a contract with a hotel chain..(not mine) and has £8000 currently owed to the business for work carried out in Dec and to be carried out in Jan.They have another 11 hotels for him to do which will bring in another 22k this year. He's also lots of other things on his books to book in and go for.

I suppose what i am saying is never lose faith we all have times like these but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

HUGE MASSIVE HUGS GIRLIES!!!!!!!!