Need to rant before I cry (again)

Ok I'll start from the beginning.

Last week DH flew to the USA for work, as it's a new job I've been very supportive and told him he's doing the right thing etc despite losing my Grandfather and trying to help support my parents.
Since he's been there I've barely spoken to him and although I'm staying with my parents while he's away I am feeling down and lonely.

On Friday we buried my Grandfather it was very upsetting and a very long day, considering 12 weeks ago we buried my uncle who we lost to cancer and then my grandad died of cancer its been very stressful.
I've not been sleeping as I can't get comfortable, I have back ache and I'm not used to sleeping in a bed on my own.

On Saturday it was my brothers birthday so I went out for lunch with him, my SIL and my cousin who I hadn't seen in 10 years and was being posted back to Iraq soon so I wanted to see him. When I came back I'd had no texts from him but he had called while I was out (but I wasn't given the message).
Dh had flown to his brothers to spend time with his brother and SIL family.
Last night we went to a friends party and I had back ache, I felt fat and frumpy, I was tired and my sister spilled drink down my dress and stained it by accident so I wasn't feeling good!
DH called me when I was washing my face so when I answered the phone he had to wait a min whilst I dried my face. He told me off for that.
He said his SIL was having a barbeque and invted her family over I jokingly mentioned how none of them spoke English so he'd have to do the barbeque to be told I was being nasty and it was below the belt (but none of them do speak English!).
He asked how I was and I said I was ok but tired with back ache to which he said nastily to join the club as he was ill. I felt from the beginning of the conversation I was being attacked.
Then he told me for 15 mins how wonderful his nephews were and what a great time he was having (the conversation was't even private as he decided to call me sat amoung the entire family) while I was sat here trying to cope with the loss of my grandad and the devastation it's caused my family.
Then he had a go at me about my sister spilling the drink (it was an accident and she is only 5) before declaring I was being horrible because I wasn't talking and slammed the phone down on me - in front of everyone there.
He didn't notice I was crying and upset and declared there was no reason for me to be down.

When he gets with his brother he treats me like a piece of crap, I don't think his brother likes me anyway and my SIL always tries to pair him off with her niece.
He then sent me texts telling me how nasty I am after he'd been looking forward to speaking to me all day yet when I'd sent him texts he'd ignored them.
I eventually had enough and sent him a long text telling him how down I was, how I'd needed his support as I had supported him and needed some kind words in a private conversation after the stress of burying a much loved grandfather.
I told him I was sorry but his brothers barbeque wasn't at the front of my mind right now (and considering his brother and family care very little for me I don't see why I should be all bouncy and excited wanting to know how they are).

Am I in the wrong here? Have I done something wrong?
how am I supposed to talk to him when there are 30 (no joke) people in the room behind him? Am I not allowed to fall apart occassionally?

I really feel crap now 😢

aww hunni thinking of u and hope it gets better soon
xxx

It's a shame he wasn't more thoughtful and I would feel exactly like you about wanting the conversation to be in private.

😘 oh hun 😘

hope you sort things out soon.

ah poor you, you must be feeling really sad. Think you both probably clashed at a moment when emotions were running high for both of you. when you see him next you'll be able to talk it over and i would guess he'll probably have a lot of sorry's for you. Take care of yourself. give yourself an hour of quiet, read a good book, soothing hot drink and just lose yourself in something that takes your mind away from it all 😘 all the best
becky x x