Feel really angry and upset

Hi

At the moment I feel really tired not sleeping probably as soon as I wake up i just been getting up. Since my grandad died not feel like doing much aswell.I go to bed can't sleep and the baby does not want to sleep he keeps standing in his cot. So got to lower the cot. Even more annoys me at the moment is he stands and crys because he can't get down in the cot.

I also feel like no one cares because the other day I had a argument with my bf about the funeral. I said you might have to take the day off but he said he can't as he booked a weekend away with his friend. Which I didn't mind then I said to him this weekend I might not be able to go to your brothers with you and then he said well you can take the baby. He knows his brothers wants to see the baby so I would have to go. Then after this argument we were fine. In the end my dad said to me that if he comes to it I will just have to bring the baby to the funeral etc. Today meant to go to my grandad flat. He lived in a shelter housing. So my dad said I got to go because they are reading the will and sorting his stuff out. So my bf was fine about that but then my dad said he's unable to look after the baby we will just have to take. Feel like sometimes he don't care. My mum only cares about her friend. Who is in hospital not well but she is a very selfish woman and just wants to come home to die and leave my poor mum to find her. It like I have one friend only and said she was going to pass by but seems like she got better things to do. Why do i bother at the moment. Go my lo screaming his head so got to go but not a happy bunny going to scream.

is your bf not going the funeral? personally id rather get a friend to have my lo and my dp there with me to comfort me - thats possibly what your fellas problem is! men have this protection thing about their families - if your preventing him from showing this protection role hes obviously gonna be offended by it - hence the outburst of not wanting your lo and wanting to bugger off with his friend - his way of probably saying - if you dont want me there il be there for someone else.

sounds like you just need someone there to talk to.. just get aloada things off your chest.. never be afraid to ask family and friends for help hun - it wont make you like you aint coping, it just shows your strong enough to admit that times are hard now and then - not many people do! iv got a friend who from day one has apparantly had the perfect baby whos slept for 8hrs from birth - yeh right!! i once knocked on hers to hear her screaming at the baby - even tho i was led to beleive everything was so perfect!

ask someone to have your lo for a few hours while you have some time to yourself - go shopping,swimming,anything you find relaxing - but to make sure you get someone to have your lo,dont tell em the truth as to why if u dont want to or they may change their mind if they know its for you to have a little fun - make out youve got a meeting or an interview or hospital appointment - somewhere where you know your lo wouldnt be able to go! and you and your fella start to do things together to make you feel better - go away for short weekends as a family and for nights out just the 2 of you.

As for your grandad - im so sorry to hear of your loss but it will get better over time,i lost my nan not long ago and she was one of the best people ever! but in time the pain eased,just remember those fun childhood memories you have - thats what helped me,although all birthdays and my sons christening was hard as my nan was a cake maker and she would always make the best cakes for us - the past few years we havent had them and i still get upset about that now and then,but with a smile on my face i think of the person whe was.they wouldnt like to see us dwelling on the grief for too long hun - alls you need to know is that your grandad is always watching you,protecting you & your lo and he always will be hun.x

I think what Hayley has said is bang on hun. Try to get your family to understand that you do need a hand now and again.

I think you are struggling to please everyone and not cause a fuss but making yourself unhappy at the same time.

Hugs hun, 😘

Hi

Actually funny enough I would have liked him there with me. We both are abit funny of leaving our baby with anyone at the moment. He said to me he wouldn't even go anyway. So I said to him could he just take the day off but he said he has taken alot of time off already. Which I understand but this with my grandad was going to happen he knew that. He was off sick for 2 weeks and then he was on holiday for 4 days. So I know he can't take time off. Just means I will have to take the baby with me to the funeral. Oh my mum did say she would have him but we are abit funny about her looking after him its long but she smokes. She will be coming with me to the funeral so she can help me there so at least i can see her with the baby at the back or something.

I don't know if you believe in this but my mum like scared when someone dies because she has leaves the light on in her bedroom all night. I was feeling abit like this awell since wednesday scared even to go the loo. How crazy am I felt better last night though but still can't sleep. My bf goes to work at like 5:30am in morning and I wake up when he has gone and can't go back to sleep. Also I wake up thinking its a dream but I know its not. Start thinking I should have goine back to see my grandad again now wish i could talk to him one more time.