Will i ever feel ready?

Well Evie was 16 months on the 22nd and im starting to think will i ever feel ready to move her into the girls room and to stop useing her monitor (she has a monitor to let me know she is breathing) im scared to put her in another room scared to stop useing her monitor when will i ever feel ready? John has talked about putting her in the girls room but i just dont want to since we lossed Lewis's im even more protective and im still getting up loads of times threw the night to cheack on the kids something that i think wont ever change been cheacking on them threw the night since i lossed our first baby Kelvin over 7 years ago
Evie is a very clingy toddler and cry's when we walk out the room cry's if we have a cuddle and cry's if we give the other kids attention and i know it is because were always fussing over her and worrying non stop 🙁
all the other kids had there own room by the time there were 1 year old but i just cant bare to move Evie into her own room i know she is our child and we should do what is right for us but i just feel maybe im being to over protective with the children and Demi has starterd to ask if she can go play over the road with her friend but the answear is NO and she thinks im been mean and i feel even worse but still i wont let her and i know she is only 6 but will i still feel like this when she is 10? and i also go in a total panic if the kids are not close to me if we are out and about e.c.t my heart races and i feel so scared incase i cant find them or incase something bad happens 🙁

let u into a secret...

Megs is 5 and i've only just stopped using the baby listener! She's been in her own room since she was a few months old but i've always used her listener. Until last year, i even took it downstairs when she went to bed!

What i use is a monitor from the hospital it is like a little mat and it lays under her sheet on top of her mattress and it clicks to let me know Evie is breathing and if the worst was to happen (touchers wood ) it alarms like a smoke alarm and let's me know sumthing is wrong

Everyone is different and considering what you have been through I would be worried too. Maybe you should see what she is like being put into a different room. I check on Cait before I go to bed. Cait went into her own room at 1 1/2.

That is the thing even though John thinks we should try and move her i just dont want to and get all upset and he say's fine we can wait but i cant keep putting it off and i cheack on Evie about 5 times a night and the older ones about twice 🙁

If you don't want to then I think its best if you don't, because you prob won't be able to sleep at all!!Have you spoke to your health visitor?? They might be able to suggest things to do.

angelmum said:
What i use is a monitor from the hospital it is like a little mat and it lays under her sheet on top of her mattress and it clicks to let me know Evie is breathing and if the worst was to happen (touchers wood ) it alarms like a smoke alarm and let's me know sumthing is wrong

yeah we had that when megs was a baby. I was so paranoid about anything happening to her, i used to lie on my side facing her moses basket, with my glasses on so i could see, keeping a pillow behind me so i couldnt roll over!! Meg was born only a year after emily died so we were really paranoid! Trouble was, the alarm used to go off at times, if meg rolled off the sensor. If we were downstairs, we'd both belt it up the stairs. Meg would be there, fast asleep and both of us would be poking at her to make sure she was still breathing!

God yer that has happend to us load's of times it going off becasue she has rolled of her mat , our hearts leaping out of our cheast it is horrible feeling thinking is my baby ok when you hear it go off 🙁

Kelly_Cait said:
If you don't want to then I think its best if you don't, because you prob won't be able to sleep at all!!Have you spoke to your health visitor?? They might be able to suggest things to do.

Nope not talked to my H/V yet hun 🙁

you ill know yourself when you feel ready to move evie hun.
if this is causing you stress and worry then its not the right time

ps jades still in with us too and shes 19 months x

Hi hun my son is 3 and a half and in his own room.BUT i still have the monitor on ALWAYS i can only sleep when its on,it gives me piece of mind.I even take it to my mums when he sleeps there and i plug it in and turn it on before i leave.lol
I would go by your own instincts if you want to keep your baby in your room longer just do it.When you feel ready you will know.As for keeping the kiddys close when your out i do the same!lol i dont know if i will ever change i even panic when my husband takes him out for the day and i know how over protective he is. 😘

It took me a along time too to stop looking in on Aaralyn every hour practically but I am finally comfortable sleeping and knowing she will be ok in the morning and I've not even been what you've been through so I understand you're not wanting her to be on her own yet. Good luck when the time comes, it will probably be harder on you than on Evie but you will all settle comfortably in time 😘

my mum had amonitor as we lost my bother to cot death too and she had one for the 3 children since him i have asked her and she says when u feel ready then do it and not until then and she said when u do not to worry cos a mothers instinct wil tell u if something is wrong with her and checking on them how ever many times to put your mind as ease is ok i am 28 and when i stay over at hers she still checks on me
xxx

I cant even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. I do agree with what people have said in that you need to do it when you feel you can, not when you feel you should. I hope you find a way through this hun xxx 😘

aww hun....if u dont feel ready yet then dont put her in her own room....coz u probably wont sleep at all!

we put charlie in his own room few wks ago..and i was gettin up every hr checkin him but i dont now...and our monitors are broke so i dont even have them on....so when we are down stairs i check on him a few times b4 i go to bed, then i normally sleep all night and today i woke up at 9am and hadnt got up all night and i rushed into charlies room to check and he was just laying there laughing..he must of thought i was mad! 🤪 😜

Thanks for all your reply's means alot 😘

I know you need to do it at some point and maybe the longer you wait the harder it is BUT you need to be happy with the choices you make. You've got a better reason than any mum I've ever met to worry over your children's safety so stay within your comfort zone for a while if you need to 😘