Friendship issue

Hi All,
A close friend asked me to be a bridesmaid last year, I since got pregnant but still tried to support her. The other bridesmaids she picked were not my friends I knew with but I tried to work with them as best i could.
While trying to plan her hen I was taken into hospital and my baby was born via an emergency c section under aesthetic 2 months premature, he needed resuscitation and was taken to neonatal and I was on a different ward due to extreme blood loss.
Because of this I had to pause my involvement in the wedding. My friend who was getting married asked if I was still coming to the hen, I said I couldn't really focus on it right now and just needed some time.
4 days after having my son she messaged to say she didn't want me as a bridesmaid as I couldn't give 100%.
I was devastated, she wouldn't speak with me so I ended up sending a message sharing that I didn't understand, was upset but wishing her luck.
A few days later we did speak and she asked me to be a bridesmaid again and I agreed.
When it came to the hen less than 8 weeks after giving birth I went for a short while but was still sore and my baby was still being monitored.
I had hoped she would understand that I had done what I could, but she and the other bridesmaids were very frosty with me and on the day of the wedding I overheard her tell the photographer I wasn't really a bridesmaid.
The whole thing has hurt so much, I can see it from her perspective as she has done alot for me over the years. I sent a small gift and apologised for not been able to be there as much as I would have liked.
I offered to take her out to make up for missing her hen.
She remains very distant and won't talk to me about it.
I am ruminating on it a lot and not sure what more I can do.
Just hoping for some objective advice on whether to keep trying or how to move on without closure?
Thank you

Roxyx said:
Hi All,
A close friend asked me to be a bridesmaid last year, I since got pregnant but still tried to support her. The other bridesmaids she picked were not my friends I knew with but I tried to work with them as best i could.
While trying to plan her hen I was taken into hospital and my baby was born via an emergency c section under aesthetic 2 months premature, he needed resuscitation and was taken to neonatal and I was on a different ward due to extreme blood loss.
Because of this I had to pause my involvement in the wedding. My friend who was getting married asked if I was still coming to the hen, I said I couldn't really focus on it right now and just needed some time.
4 days after having my son she messaged to say she didn't want me as a bridesmaid as I couldn't give 100%.
I was devastated, she wouldn't speak with me so I ended up sending a message sharing that I didn't understand, was upset but wishing her luck.
A few days later we did speak and she asked me to be a bridesmaid again and I agreed.
When it came to the hen less than 8 weeks after giving birth I went for a short while but was still sore and my baby was still being monitored.
I had hoped she would understand that I had done what I could, but she and the other bridesmaids were very frosty with me and on the day of the wedding I overheard her tell the photographer I wasn't really a bridesmaid.
The whole thing has hurt so much, I can see it from her perspective as she has done alot for me over the years. I sent a small gift and apologised for not been able to be there as much as I would have liked.
I offered to take her out to make up for missing her hen.
She remains very distant and won't talk to me about it.
I am ruminating on it a lot and not sure what more I can do.
Just hoping for some objective advice on whether to keep trying or how to move on without closure?
Thank you

I'm so sorry you're going through this; it sounds incredibly tough, especially given everything you've been dealing with. It’s clear you did your best under the circumstances, and it’s unfortunate that your friend hasn’t been more understanding. Sometimes, when people are stressed about their big day, they can lose sight of what others are going through.
It might be best to give her some space for now. You've already reached out, apologized, and made efforts to make things right. If she’s not ready to move past it, that’s her choice. Focus on your own well-being and your baby. If she values your friendship, she may come around in time. If not, it’s okay to prioritize yourself and those who support you. Moving on without closure is hard, but sometimes it’s the healthiest option for your own peace of mind.

I was in the same boat. You need new friends

That sounds incredibly painful, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. You went through an extremely traumatic experience with your baby’s premature birth and emergency C-section, and it’s heartbreaking that your friend wasn’t more understanding. It sounds like you did your best to show up for her, but your priority had to be your child and your own recovery, which is completely reasonable. It’s okay to grieve the friendship, but also know that a true friend should have given you grace during such a difficult time. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway, it might be best to focus on healing and surrounding yourself with people who truly support you.