Can I Get Your Advice

Hi ladies!
I am new on this forum, and I was looking on the internet for a place where I can share my tribulation with onliners, have constructive discussions, criticism, and advice on TTC. I started TTC 4 years ago, but I am afraid that I am headed into the fifth year with no sign of conceiving. My story is a long one, but I will try to summarise it. I got impregnated by my boyfriend after he took advantage of me while drunk. We had gone to a party, and I think I took one too many. I am not sure whether he added some drugs to my drinks as I was informed later by one of his friends. However, what happened is that I found myself in his house and it was evident that he had slept with me. This is how I conceived. Three months later, I thought the pregnancy was illegitimate, and I sought to terminate it. Since the whole thing was secretive, I decided to terminate the pregnancy. It was done by one of the doctors in our town who I suspect was a quark, and didn't have much experience. He scarred my womb, and as I speak, I cannot carry a pregnancy to full term. I have been in and out of fertility clinics, but I have not gotten help. However, I have had several miscarriages, and my doctor has pointed out that I can only conceive if I undergo constructive surgery.

Oh my God, Diana. I'm terribly sorry to hear that. My dear, I hope you aren't still with that boyfriend. He doesn't really seem like a decent guy. I know I am in no place to pass judgement. However, judging from what you said, he allegedly drugged you. You should have reported the incident. Let me know if you want any support or advice on the matter. Now, coming back to your current issue. Scarring in the womb can cause a lot of probems. Fortunately, it can be fixed. For this you will need to get more surgery done though. Make sure you visit a doctor who knows what they are doing. Once the scarring is removed, you might have a chance to conceive. If this idea does not appeal to you then you can go for surrogacy or adoption too. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi Maggie674,
Thank you so much for your concern and response. In fact, I had kept this to myself until I talked to a friend who told me that keeping quiet will not help me. She encouraged me to look for a forum where I can share my tribulation with the rest of the people, and I would be surprised to learn that I am not the only person facing such a problem. She also told me that it is possible that I would get someone who will offer advice that will help me conceive and lead a happy life. Now back to the question whether I reported my boyfriend or not, the answer is that I did not. You see I was still so young and naïve to the extent that I believed it was my mistake to drink too much. I also thought that since I found myself in his house in the morning, no one would listen to my story and that it would be difficult to prove that I did not consent. As I had mentioned in my earlier post, I am considering going for corrective surgery. However, I am a little bit scared because I talked to some expert last month and he told me that there is no guarantee that I will come out successful. Nevertheless, it is better I try than to waste my time and die childless. What is your opinion on this?

I am so sorry about your case. So sad story. Hope you will have the opportunity to have your own baby. I believe the Good will bless you with a little child to comfort you for all this pain.

Hey, that's so sad. you trusted him but he betrayed you. That's why I prefer to stay single. I hope that you have gotten over it. The main reason behind you infertility is the abortion. The doctor must have been some kind of a jerk. You are lucky that it didn't turn out to be fatal for you. A little carelessness could've killed you. You should listen to your doctor now. Is this doctor a nice one? He better be. You can't afford another messed up surgery. I would suggest you find the best clinic for it this time. If you are gonna get it done, make sure to get it done by some experts.

Hi Diana. I am really sorry to hear about your story. It really really breaks my heart. You are a strong woman. I hope you keep this strength. This is very tragic. It's best that you keep trying. Do consider the advice of your doctor. have you considered doing what he said? I hope everything gets fine for you. Wishing you good luck.

Hey Hun, You have been really brave and beard all the loss. I know, you were young and couldn’t stand up for yourself and yes, you were in his house so obviously, no one would have believed you. It’s quite scary and terrible that how he used you and now you have to face such a hardship in order to conceive later in your life. I think you must go for hysteroscopy as suggested by you the doctor but how much is the success rate after the surgery? Would you be able to conceive? Because scarring can cause critical problems and the live birth ratio after the surgery remain 30-70%. Weigh your options but never lose hope. If nothing works or you feel that surgery isn’t an option then you can look up for surrogacy and IVF. It could assist which could assist you to have your own child without having to carry it. There are places and several countries where FET are cheap as compare to UK and US. I am no expert, but I have put forward what I know. Talk with your fertility doctor the chances of fertility after the surgery. This will you give you a better idea of what you can do further. Sending lots of wishes.

Hey, dear Diana.I knew it's going to so tough for you to handle that.I am so sorry to hear.I must say you are the brave and strong lady.I think you have to do more surgeries.I am sure sooner you have to feel better.Life is so hard sometimes, but you are the strong person.I appreciate you and pray that in future you had only happiness.No more bad days and sadness is there.Just do remember one thing that you have to be successful life if your hopes are high.I think you should try after removing the scarring.If you will conceive it too great and good to know.On the other hand, you have to go through surrogacy.Wishing you best wishes.Keep trying never lose hope.