long ttc, looking for options

Hello girls! I'm new to this community. I'm looking for advice and support. I'm 28 years old, married, have no children. My husband and I have been in TTC for almost 6 years already. We had 5 cycles of IVF and all unsuccessful. Each failure was unbearable. It was getting worse each other time... I feel myself miserable. My husband comforts me all the time and I appreciate his support. But I feel so ashamed I can't give him children. We've been together since college. All this time we were dreaming and planning to have big happy family. But all these years we had only sadness, failed ttc and loss of money. We work so hard! Andy(my husband) comes home late at night, because he needs to earn as much as he can on each try of IVF... We are so tired of all these. I understand some couples try much longer and spend much more...But I think it's enough IVF tries for us. We discussed our situation and came to the conclusion that childless life is not for us. So there is only one thing left. It's surrogacy. But here we have one more problem - prices. Costs for surrogacy in USA are huge! $100 000 for the procedure is prohibitive price for us. Speaking about India, it has been closed for foreigners recently. Mexico? After reading some reviews we doubt to go there. Greece? Yes, prices are lower, but not that much. $80 000 is a lot... We'll need money for our baby in future. Giving all money for the procedure and then have no ability to maintain our child is not a good choice. Furthermore we'll probably need to take a loan to pay such price. All money we had were spent for IVF attempts. So there are Russia and Ukraine left... Their prices are lower, which is good. But still I have some doubts...I want to talk with somebody, who've had surrogacy in those countries. Is here anybody who experienced this procedure there? Any advice?

I'm glad your story has a happy ending! You made me believe mine will have it too. I didn't know Russia has such a law! Thank you a lot for telling. It's weird some stranger can just grab your child. And the scariest thing is you can do nothing about it, because her actions are legal. We've also heard about fraudsters. There are so many stories of poor people, who gave them all money and didn't get what they wanted. Since India is closed for foreigners now, Ukraine is gaining popularity among infertile couples. Furthermore, there are many reviews that their surrogates are checked carefully. I can't say same thing about Indian surrogates. May I ask which clinic did you choose? What did you like and what not? How was their service? I will appreciate any help!

Sad to hear about your infertility struggles at this young age. I am not used to see women at their 20 dealing with infertility as for me it is more of an age issue however I admit that there is a lot to it which I do not know and I am really sad and proud of you kind of that you have managed to go through all of that and still you haven’t given up!
Keep it up girl!
PS I think that Ukraine is better out of these two just because in Russia there are some controversial laws and they are banning surrogacy as I was told. So it is not the best environment to commence surrogacy treatment at all.

catsych said:
Sad to hear about your infertility struggles at this young age. I am not used to see women at their 20 dealing with infertility as for me it is more of an age issue however I admit that there is a lot to it which I do not know and I am really sad and proud of you kind of that you have managed to go through all of that and still you haven’t given up!
Keep it up girl!
PS I think that Ukraine is better out of these two just because in Russia there are some controversial laws and they are banning surrogacy as I was told. So it is not the best environment to commence surrogacy treatment at all.

Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot for me. I'm so happy I decided to come here and post on forum. It was so hard to keep everything inside. I knew friends just won't understand. Finally I can talk with people who can support and give advice. Thank you for information! I'll definitely concieder it!

Yes, I've read a lot about this clinic. Everything sounds pretty good. How much did you pay for surrogacy itself? And how much did all those services(I mean taxi, translator, accommodation and so on) cost to you? Did you like housing? Maybe it's better to stay in hotel? Usually they give you the worst to save money) And how long did it take for them to find surrogate mother for you? Did they give you chance to choose her by yourself? I've heard that sometimes search can take half of a year and more. I'm ready to wait as much as needed! I understand that this process takes some time. Somebody waits for years. This is one of the biggest outcomes of infertility…But still we want all process go fast so we can have our baby with us)

Such a relief! I thought this services cost a lot. But what is the difference? For example between standard and vip? I've looked through photos on their website. Honestly saying I was surprised! I didn't expect to see so cool design. And also the clinic looks very modern and 'european' on the pics. I'm glad to know it didn't take long for them to find surrogate mother. 2-3 months are not that big period of time. Did your surrogate mother live with you till delivery?

I should say vip package looks more 'comfortable'. I hate standing in lines! And also the fact that surrogate mother had already experienced surrogacy gives more confidence in success of procedure. It must be hard to be so far away from your baby even if it wasn't born yet… But you have the point here. It's better for sm to stay home. Were there problems with documents for your child? I have no clue how to organize all needed documents in Ukraine. I have so much fear somebody will just take away my baby right in the airport. I understand I'm thinking up the problem…But I'm so nervous! I want everything to be perfect... or at least to be prepared to possible complications. And what about safety? I know there is war in Ukraine, so maybe now is not the best time to go there…I like this clinic, all sounds pretty good. And their prices are so much lower than in US what gave me lots of hope for future parenting. But while watching news, it seems dangerous to be there.

Hello and welcome friend at this digital online platform. Today we are living in advance digital world. I am feeling happy to see that you are on right path to achieve your target. I can understand your physical and mental stage at this time. You need not lose hope due to this difficulty in your life. You can easily overcome all type of pregnancy related problem with advanced medical research based treatment available in medical history. You should understand the real bonding with your partner to maintain proper balance in your marriage life to understand each other physical needs and emotion very well and corporate each other to handle this horrible problem in life.
I also spend lot of my marriage life days with sadness and emptiness due to my infertility problem. We try many effective methods to conceive naturally but not succeed. Once we have to attend a marriage party at Ukraine where we met my old college friend who is popular gynecologist of Ukraine. We discuss our problem in detail to get permanent solution of my infertility problem. Now I am happy and healthy enjoying my marriage life with healthy baby gift that is dream of every woman to become perfect mother in life to enjoy labor fruit.
You should start your planning with two way process first natural way and second is medical treatment method that is IVF. You should be very informative to understand your body hormones signal to maintain regular period cycle to conceive naturally. You can enhance your success rate with powerful yoga and meditation to remove stressful situation from your body and mind. IVF test tube baby treatment is best suitable for you to convert your dream into reality that is most popular treatment to defeat infertility.

Hello dear! How's your journey going? We were thinking about India for some time but then it was closed for foreigners. Idk if it's good or bad. I read both positive experience stories and negative. It was really hard for us to decide to go there or not. So when it was eventually closed we took it as a sign that it will be better for us to find another place to go. As they say when the lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. We are currently in our first surrogacy journey, waiting for our baby to be born.

It is good that I came across this thread despite of taking all the necessary actions and medications I am not getting pregnant. And its becoming more annoying with passing age. I have hormonal imbalance issue due to high stress job. Which leaded me to the abundant treatments. I have high level of paranoia and depression. Wasting my money on every best doctor with zero results depresses me. My husband never showed but I know he is fed up. Because my focus is wandered from home. The thought of baby makes me sadden to the core. Lately doctors diagnosed me with thin uterus lining. Couple of friends and browsing though internet I came to know it is possible to thicken the uterus lining. But it might not work and might not be inexpensive as well. I have to start considering other options like adaption or surrogacy may be. The decision to have baby through other ways and option is not final yet. But I am in search of best options and something that is more suitable to my situation. Looking for advice.

Hi Bethany,
I am sorry to hear your sad story. Trying for IVF 5 times is not a mean achieving. It shows how committed you are to conceiving. However, given the amount of time and resources that you have wasted, I would advise that you consider surrogacy. Most clinics in the US are expensive and may not be available to people who do not have a lot of money. However, there is a clinic in Ukraine, which offer the service at affordable price. The clinic offers two types of surrey; surrogacy on your own egg, and surrogacy on a donor egg. If you are capable of producing eggs, all you will need to do is to visit the clinic and get tested. You should have documents showing that you are incapable of carrying a pregnancy to full term. You will be required to visit the clinic for analysis. You will have to wait for the clinic to match a surrogate mother. Your husband will be required to donate his sperm after you make the payment. It will then pave the way for you to start treatment. You will then have to undergo egg retrieval procedure. Several eggs will be collected, fertilized and frozen. One or two of the eggs will be transferred to the uterus of the surrogate mother. You will get to talk to the surrogate mother after 12 weeks. Once she delivers, you will be required to pay the last installment. The clinic has a team of legal experts who will help process the kid’s document before you take your baby home.

Hello dear. I believe that your struggle won't squander. You are an example of pure struggle. We are here to support you. It is important to have full knowledge on fertility centers. They must provide quality services with assurance of desired result. Gestational Surrogacy is the best option for you. Because you both will be the biological parents of the child. You must dig deep into this type of surrogacy. I hope you find this helpful . I wish you all the best . Much love xx

Hello. I have not gotten my surrogacy done at any clinic yet but I am looking forward to getting it done soon. I have been trying to conceive for the past 10 years and nothing ever really worked out for me. After all this time now I think that surrogacy is the last option for me. I have spent thousands of dollars on my treatment and I really don't want to waste any more of my money on useless stuff. I compared different countries' surrogacy prices to other countries and found out that Ukraine's prices are the most suitable for me. Like you, I also had my doubts so I headed up to different forms and from those forums and people's personal experiences I found out that the clinic is quite excellent. Some people could not really stop from praising the clinic. I got to speak to people who had got their treatments done from this clinic in person and to be honest they were very impressed and they told me about their success stories which is kind of helping me to make up my mind about the whole procedure.I hope that you make the best and the most right choice for yourself.

Hey there love, It's unfortunate what life threw you at such a young age.I have been dealing with the same thing as I am an infertile woman just like you.I believe barren is the right word for me.Also, I would not recommend getting your surrogacy from Russia.Trust me you do not want to involve yourself there.go for the other option.Take care love.

I hope that I am not too late to reply. 6 years of TTC is a very long time. I wonder how you waited so long. How many IVF treatments did you exactly go through? You do know that as it is useful, failing it, again and again, can be quite harmful. I am glad that you have found the solution to your problem. But with every new solution comes new problems. I have seen the huge amount of money that clinics demand for Surrogacy. During my academic years, we had a marketing research assignment about the treatments pricing within the state and in some other foreign countries. Through that research, I got to find out a lot. The prices for medical treatments are relatively low in the Eastern Europe side. The doctors in those states were equally professional. I think that you should try to find a clinic somewhere in the Eastern Europe states. I am sure that with a little research you will get to find the perfect place. I will look up for that piece of work, there were some clinics names too in that. Do let me know if you need me to tell you the names.

Hey girl, 28 is a very young age. You still have a lot of time to get yourself checked. Try to find a nice fertility clinic for your checkup. Do not trust any random doctor with your health. There are many ways to solve your problem. Do not be worried, stress can cause more problems for you. Try to have some good time with your family. Their support will recharge you and then you can start your journey to happiness.

Hey Bethany, I would advise you go to Eastern Europe for the surrogacy process. Because the laws there are very compatible and they facilitate you greatly until the birth of your child. And the child would be biologically yours, and the surrogate has no right over the child. What really amused me is that they accommodate you and give you the best of healthcare. I am excited to initiate my surrogacy process there next month. I wish you success with whatever route you choose.

You said it right. According to my search results Mexico, India and Thailand had been an affordable land for surrogacy procedure. But sadly they banned this for foreigners. The two places you are talking about are also under my consideration for surrogacy procedure. I read recently in an online article that Russia is considering over restricting surrogacy. And will only allow noncommercial programs as of in UK and Canada. And the place left had the cost of surrogacy program is $40,000. In other countries, the initial statistics are $75,000. So you must consider the second one I guess. Good luck.