starting this all over again

Hello! How are you all? My name is Katherine, I am 50 years old and I am trying to conceive. I am very ashamed of writing it here that I am also trying to have a baby via ivf or icsi at my age. I suppose that all of you think that I am crazy and maybe your opinions are justified and I am insane. However this is not something I am free to reject or can live without. There is an urge inside of me – to create a family and have a lot of kids. Having kids now is the sense of my life even though it was not that way at all before. I was one of those who were putting their carriers before their families and who have neglected their feminine life just because they did not feel like it was the right time to care about their fertility which was really stupid.
Stupid as hell I must say. And now being 50 years old I am commencing my second year of trying and praying for God to have mercy in me.
The story behind my infertility is really simple and is not that interesting. It’s my age, I am old, thus cannot have kids. I was only able to sign for ivf tx in an international clinic because no one wanted to take me in programs due to my age. And I do not blame them even though I think that egg donation ivf treatment is okay even for women of my age…
This is my second attempt though, unfortunately, first time we’ve been trying on a short protocol and it did not work, now they have adjusted the protocol a bit for me so we have out hopes high!
I think that we are already punished enough with all those rejections we’ve been getting from different centers and clinics and we’ve barely managed to find a clinic that would take us in program and I consider this as a miracle.
Fingers crossed!
Xx

I am here to support you in all of your things but here are my thoughts on your post and the situation you are in.
How can you even think that it is okay to go for ivf at this age? (I must say that you are a bit old for this.) Sorry but this is true, I know that my words may sound really harsh but is not this true though..? Most of the clinics won’t take you in their programs because of the very justified reasons. Such as it is a lot harder to get pregnant therefore they are closed for those who opt for the treatment after they have surpassed the age limit.

evvyproq said:
I am here to support you in all of your things but here are my thoughts on your post and the situation you are in.
How can you even think that it is okay to go for ivf at this age? (I must say that you are a bit old for this.) Sorry but this is true, I know that my words may sound really harsh but is not this true though..? Most of the clinics won’t take you in their programs because of the very justified reasons. Such as it is a lot harder to get pregnant therefore they are closed for those who opt for the treatment after they have surpassed the age limit.

Well, guess what, not all of them are that closed-minded, some clinics are accepting couples or women older than 45 yo in programs. So your argument is invalid. I have admitted that for some my intentions might sound and look crazy so I do not get why are you trying to tell me that those who have rejected us are on the right side here. I know that already that they have very strict rules!

So. Not only you are insane but the clinic of your choice is insane too. How is it even possible for you to get pregnant when you are older than 45? Well, not that, you can get pregnant supposedly but there are a lot of risks for you and the baby you’re going to carry for 9 months. Don’t you think that your baby can be born with some defects or just plan health issues? and even though I think that you have all your life before you and there are still a lot of opportunities to take, you should not just take such a huge responsibility as having a child.

kidspure said:
I think that you should have done your research before starting to criticize another human being for the choices they’ve made because you clearly do not understand how ivf egg donation works and that it all depends on the overall health state of the embryo recipient. Even if she is 50 years old she might as well be a lot healthier than your average young adults. So it is YOUR argument invalid not hers, I think that if the clinic takes in programs women older than the age limit all over the world than they know what they are doing.

Thank you for defending me! I agree that if they allowed me to sign the contract for 5! Ivf attempts with refund! if all of rounds appear to be unsuccessful. So I think that not even that they do know better but they also have some hopes considering me and do not really think that my case is hopeless. And I appreciate that. even though our first round was negative they have told me that if they adjust a bit the protocol I might get more chances to fall pregnant and if I came to the clinic 2 week prior to the embryo transfer, I will be under their supervision therefore they will be adjusting the protocol and medicine’s dosage if the new protocol does not help either. The last time my endometrium grew to 9 mm which is okay but unfortunately 2 weeks later my tests was showing only one line. This time the will try with embryo glue to boost my chances.

kidspure said:
Embryo glue? Why did not they use the technique earlier? Why do they do that only this time?

I do not know honestly but I was told that my analysis (karyotype, blood tests) showed that I am really healthy and we also had vaginal swaps tested and the dr who was doing that was really optimistic, she said that even though with the age woman’s reproduction system gets worse but some of us are taking a really good care of ourselves and she said that I am one of those who did not neglect all of the necessary stuff concerning my areas. Sorry for too much information. I am saying this just so you can get an insight on why they were so sure that it would work but surprisingly enough it didn’t. so they will try again this time and my lovely manager told me that she will make sure that everything will be fine.

kidspure said:
So, have you already done all of the tests and like sperm pickup? I mean I think that you have already started stimulating right? How does it work actually? And you did not tell us how many egg cells were collected from your donor? And do you know anything about your donor? They must be anonymous right?

Well, yeah, we’ve done everything the first time when we were at the clinic, my husband’s sperm came out very high quality so they could freeze it and now he did not really need to donate his sperm again because we already have it. And for the donor part, the donation is anonymous in the country my clinic is in however it is possible to choose a donor, see her face, features and read short information about her, they also provide you with videos of all of the donors so you can watch them “live”. I do not know how it works but they must not share her personal information and we do not really know her name which is a bit of a downer but whatever.

Hi catsych! Your story is simply amazing.. I can't find any other words that would describe the situation. It should be admitted that you must be quite courageous or even a bit risky at some point. I don't intend to blame you somehow. Conversely I suppose I should have your back here and say that it might not matter how old the woman is and in what way she is going to get pregnant.. if it's her conscious choice and she is sure she can raise that child and provide it some decent future. I've recently heard few similar stories happened to women at 66 and 65..

kidspure said:
So the personal information about the donors is anonymous but you can see their faces. Interesting. How did you choose your donor? Are you using the same one this time too?

No, this time we’re using the services of another egg donor but we have also chosen her the last time but she was busy at the time so we had to go for another donor. To be honest our clinic gives us like 5 slots which you have to fill with 5 most preferable donors of your choice, it is really hard to do because it takes a lot of time to choose from 500+ donors and yet you have to make up your mind and say that you like those girls more than others. So we had a lot of troubles while choosing the donors.. but anyways, when we were looking for the second time we have found the donor we wanted to choose for the first time and decided to ask our manager whether she is free and available for stimulation. And our manager said yes!

momstar said:
Well, that makes it harder to find the egg donor in the future, isn’t it? Won’t you regret that your kids won’t even have the chance of looking for their origins?
Anyways, wishing you the best of luck! I am sure that you are going to have your BFP no matter what! BTW! What do you think about going for surrogacy? have you thought about it at all? I am myself a beginner but I am going straight for surrogate motherhood without even trying with ivf cause I had numerous miscarriages and doctors have told me that natural pregnancies have to stay in the past.

Yes, but I do not think that it is that necessary to meet the donor who gave her egg cells… and I do not think that my kid or kids will show the desire to find the donor as long as I give them all of the love I have.
Thank you very much for your wishing! I am really touched, it is really rare when others do not criticize you or anything but share their love and luck!
🙂

sherryme said:
Hi catsych! Your story is simply amazing.. I can't find any other words that would describe the situation. It should be admitted that you must be quite courageous or even a bit risky at some point. I don't intend to blame you somehow. Conversely I suppose I should have your back here and say that it might not matter how old the woman is and in what way she is going to get pregnant.. if it's her conscious choice and she is sure she can raise that child and provide it some decent future. I've recently heard few similar stories happened to women at 66 and 65..

Oh no! it is not amazing at all! You're being too nice hun! Really? I think that it is not that rare when women decide to not quit after they were admitted to be too old but rather to go even further! That's why I love my craziness and this all is so new to both of us and my husband could even get his life alltogether just because he wanted to give the best sperm in order to things to work out. Unfortunately here we are at our 2 nd attempt.

I do believe you are right doing your best here. Just wanted to remind you should take good care of your health since your organism might not be that strong ..with a course of time women tend to have weaker bones and hence it contributes to complications during pregnancy.. Though there's nothing to be afraid of.. one of those women I mentioned gave birth to quadruplets under the supervision of the experienced doctors in one of the Ukrainian clinics.. the only thing that they were born prematurely.. but are quite ok.. the other story I know tells about a woman of 55 delivered twins for her own daughter whose reproductive organs were removed after the surgery.. So wish you all the best with your journey dear.

Thank you sherryme!
Wow, to give birth to 4ruplets being 66 years old! Isn’t this amazing??? Quite amusing too. I did not think that it is possible to get pregnant after 60 yo but I think that some women are healthier than others and have higher chances of getting pregnant. Thank you for your advice honey! Such a nice reply to read. I will definitely be taking some care of myself, I have been reading lots of articles on what to eat and drink and do when you’re ttcing. 🙂 and especially at my age.

momstar said:

catsych said:

momstar said:
Well, that makes it harder to find the egg donor in the future, isn’t it? Won’t you regret that your kids won’t even have the chance of looking for their origins?
Anyways, wishing you the best of luck! I am sure that you are going to have your BFP no matter what! BTW! What do you think about going for surrogacy? have you thought about it at all? I am myself a beginner but I am going straight for surrogate motherhood without even trying with ivf cause I had numerous miscarriages and doctors have told me that natural pregnancies have to stay in the past.

Yes, but I do not think that it is that necessary to meet the donor who gave her egg cells… and I do not think that my kid or kids will show the desire to find the donor as long as I give them all of the love I have.
Thank you very much for your wishing! I am really touched, it is really rare when others do not criticize you or anything but share their love and luck!
:)

You do not have to thank me for showing signs of a decent human being! But do you think that this is ok for your kids to not know who their biological mother was??

Actually not. I think that I am going to be the only mother of my child! There is no such difference between biological mother or a adopting mother. You see. I am going to be officially considered his mother therefore there is no need to look for his biological mother aka the woman who gave her egg cells for money. And I am not shaming here by any means, I am just spitting facts. Even though my baby will have here genes I am going to be responsible for raising him up and making him a nice human being!
xx

catsych said:
Thank you sherryme!
Wow, to give birth to 4ruplets being 66 years old! Isn’t this amazing??? Quite amusing too. I did not think that it is possible to get pregnant after 60 yo but I think that some women are healthier than others and have higher chances of getting pregnant. Thank you for your advice honey! Such a nice reply to read. I will definitely be taking some care of myself, I have been reading lots of articles on what to eat and drink and do when you’re ttcing. 🙂 and especially at my age.

You are welcome dear! Don't lose hope and you'll be ok with that!.. If you take proper care of yourself that wouldn't be a problem for you to get pregnant .. if using donor eggs of course.. and carry a baby if your womb tests show good results.. Finding good clinic is half way to success..So fingers crossed for you x