Contention PArenting

I've noticed my relationship with my almost-4-y-o daughter has become 1 of constant contention. I ask her to do something 4 or 5 times and she is just being extraordinarily silly (I do like to encourage a healthy dose of silliness when the time/place is right).
It used to be fine and dandy but as she has grown her exploring her "indipendace" and "rule-pushing" is getting the better of us.
I ask her to do something VERY simple, then I repeat, then I firmly tell her, then I remind her this is no time for silliness and that I am not joking etc, etc but she fails to comply.
Then I resort to actions that deliver the desired effects VERY swiftly but always with tears and screaming.
I wish to avoid to final stage.
Taking liberties away like TV time, internet time, treats etc does not work.
I want my child to OBEY without me having to resort to drastic measures. We ordinarily have a lot of fun and enjoy each other's company but I need her to realise jobs need to happen and the quicker we do it the more fun we can have.

Please advise.
Thanks,
GrumpyDad.