Giving kids trophies just for participating

My sons play Little League baseball and every year they get a trophy no matter what at the end of the season. My husband and I think this sends a wrong message to kids that every one wins and it isn't helping them build resiliency for losing. We have found this happens a lot in kids sports that even if your team doesn't win the championships they all still get a medal or trophy for participating. What do you think?

I totally get where you're coming from. I think kids need to be aware that they're not going to be the best at everything - and I don't think that's being harsh but it's just real life!

It reminds me of when I see singers trying out for reality TV shows, and they're awful (totally out of tune) but I guess they've been told they're so great and wonderful all their lives because no one had the guts to say "hey, maybe singing isn't for you as a career, but you're excellent at something else!"

I think you can let people know politely, but making everyone feel like a winner all the time is unrealistic like you said!

I think they just want to encourage the kids but it would be best if they gave the trophy to the deserving winner and medals to participating kids. This will push many of them to aim for the trophy next time.

I don't care either way, really. People don't give children enough credit.. they know when they lost a game. If they want to take playing seriously and go into pro sports, the path to that has no such trophies. It's just a game.. they're having fun and getting a neat little souvenir from it. No biggie. It may not be incentive to be super competitive and kick butt, but it's incentive to play the sport in the first place maybe. I think parents take these things way too seriously. Let them have their fun.. let them get their souvenir. If they ever want gold in the future, they sure as heck know they won't get it by just showing up. Kids are smart.. let them decide how serious it is.

I think it is nice every kid gets some memento for the season.

My child actually won a trophy for coming in 2nd place in a series of running races. I was so proud. But before getting the trophy, I don't think he understood he was being judged and he was running "races". He just thought he was running. Now that he won the trophy, and understands what was going on, he doesn't want to participate anymore.

So I think it is interesting. Does it really matter in the end? We are not going on to the Olympics or National sports leagues here, we just want our kids to be active and have fun growing up, then get a real job.

Hmmm... For me, it's fine that they get "consolation" trophies. After all, they did their best in the game even if they didn't win. Most kids today are smart and they do know that the did lose in a game. But giving them some kind of incentive or reward for even participating is good enough. I think the main aim of playing is to have fun and to participate. It's not really to win. Winning is an added bonus but it doesn't mean that if you lose, you didn't enjoy the game.

I do get your point though. But as I've said, kids today are smart. You can try explaining to them that winning in a game isn't everything and that losing is okay as well. Losing doesn't mean that you didn't do your best, it just means that somebody else has done a better job than you. What matters is that you made us proud and we love you. And if you can explain that to your kids, I think losing won't be an issue with them.

I think trophy for the winners and certificates for those who take part.

I was thinking that a trophy for the one who deserves it, is a form of motivation and there's nothing wrong with it. However, yes I understand that kids might be confused. There should be a difference in pointing out who excels and not to be more convincing.

I personally think that it is a horrible idea. Yes, kids might be vulnerable and it might be hard for them to realise they’ve lost. But what about motivation? Then need something to push them further, to fight no matter what. Always winning situation is not motivating at all. Does not matter how you are doing, at least you are trying… How miserable that sounds. I know I can be criticised here for those words. But cmon, your children will definitely say thank you in the future. I personally sometimes find myself not motivated enough, even though my parents were highly demanding to me. I might have felt weak, not good enough, but that is exactly what made me reach so many goals in my life. I knew there is someone good around me. I know there are a lot of ‘someone good’. But what I also knew that there is always the best one. If you want to get the sweet parts of your life, keep going and be the best. The feeling of not being good enough actually turned out to be the motivator throughout my whole life. At the end, I always end up being one of the best, and believe me, it feels much more valuable than to be one of the good.