Permitting other Parents Spank your Kids

Children can be naughty a times; but when it comes to other parents spanking your children for misbehaving, can you handle it or is it the beginning of a family feud?

I wouldn't mind other parents spanking my kid as long as it is for the right reason. Knowing I have a very naughty child, it is certain he would misbehave elsewhere and he deserves spanks once in a while.

What about you? Can you handle it?

My children are not naughty at all. I mean that in the sense they would never do something that warrants being spanked, especially when they are around others or out in public. So I would take deep offense if someone interpreted something my kids did as naughty enough to be spanked.

I suppose I should be happy for their behavior but it works against them too, they have a tougher time being spontaneous in public situations, like dancing or singing in a crowd, participating at a show, etc.

I allow my family to help with disciplining my children. But.. if it is someone not as close to me and if I see that it wasnt for a valid reason I wont tolerate it. It basically comes down to who I would trust with my kids.

Nope. Hell nope, in fact. I think that just because a child is smaller than an adult doesn't mean that inflicting a spanking is the right thing to do. Sure, I've had to smack my little one's hand a couple of times to make her understand what she's doing is wrong or dangerous - but if someone else actually tried spanking my child I'd probably be inclined to inflict physical force on them myself and see how they liked it...

That would not go over well. I think that this day and age it is best to avoid that in all circumstances. Legally that would be a nightmare to deal with. I did used to work in a place with really aggressive children and it was interesting to see the balance between punishment and behavior It is best to let other parents do the parenting.

I solve problems in respectful ways, so it would be a cold day in hell if I were to allow someone to hit my child for any reason. Nobody deserves to be hit.

I would never let others do that to my children, not even my parents or parents-in-law. I have already told them this when my eldest was born, no spanking at all. I don't spank or beat my children as well. I believe in gentle parenting, though I sometimes still get angry with them, and that's what I need to learn.

If my children do not behave well, my parents or parents-in-law will just let us know, and we will handle it. I don't ever think my children are naughty, they misbehave sometimes, but that's because they are still kids. 🙂

I don't even spank my son so why would I even allow others to do so? It doesn't matter if they are my parents, relatives or my husband's relatives, they cannot spank my son. My mom jokes with my son that she's going to spank him if he misbehaves and I tell her that she cannot do that. Even if it's a joke, I don't want other people thinking that we spank our son or that they can spank our son just because he misbehaves. They can tell him "No" or "Don't do that" but not in any way spank or pinch him.

I hope the same courtesy is applied to me. I try to refrain from disciplining other kids. Even if the kid is very naughty, I shut my mouth and let the guardians do the disciplining. I know that it's not my area and I won't dare go beyond my limits. And I just wish more people realise this, that we're not supposed to discipline other kids beyond our own.

First off, my two daughters are not really naughty. But I let my mom or sisters tell them off in case they see them misbehaving and my husband and I are not there. Anyway, I fully trust them to be so caring of my kids as I am also concerned about theirs.

However, I am not okay with other people, even my own family, spanking my own kids. Probably because as I've said my kids are manageable. In fact, my husband and I rarely spank them. So I do not see any reason for my family or my husband's side to spank them. I do not even do it to my niece and nephew who are both a little bit hyper and uncontrollable at times. I may tell them to stop and the reason why but I let the parents do the spanking if they feel the need to.

missiemouse said:
I don't even spank my son so why would I even allow others to do so? It doesn't matter if they are my parents, relatives or my husband's relatives, they cannot spank my son. My mom jokes with my son that she's going to spank him if he misbehaves and I tell her that she cannot do that. Even if it's a joke, I don't want other people thinking that we spank our son or that they can spank our son just because he misbehaves. They can tell him "No" or "Don't do that" but not in any way spank or pinch him.

I hope the same courtesy is applied to me. I try to refrain from disciplining other kids. Even if the kid is very naughty, I shut my mouth and let the guardians do the disciplining. I know that it's not my area and I won't dare go beyond my limits. And I just wish more people realise this, that we're not supposed to discipline other kids beyond our own.

I agree with you, and I do the same as well. I don't think that's a kind of joke, it sounds more like threatening. What worse is that, they seem to be teaching the kids doing something differently from what they said (they said they will spank the kids, but they don't). It's like teaching the kids, they can say whatever they like, good or bad things, but don't do it.

As parents or adults, I think we really have to mind our words and actions as well, as these really influence the kids, and they always learn from us, sometimes without we knowing it.

I agree with you that, we should let the guardians take care of their own kids, and we shouldn't go beyond our limits, unless it's really necessary.
I have experienced many times, when I am there, but people still scolding my children. They are actually climbing up and down, and I totally think it's fine and safe. But some adults don't think so, and they scolded my children in front of me, and threatened them they will beat them if they don't get down. Moreover, I have already told them several times, I let my children do that, and it's safe! Sometimes when my children play in the rain, they get scolded by the people who walk passed my house too (neighbors).

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kaka135 said:
I agree with you, and I do the same as well. I don't think that's a kind of joke, it sounds more like threatening. What worse is that, they seem to be teaching the kids doing something differently from what they said (they said they will spank the kids, but they don't). It's like teaching the kids, they can say whatever they like, good or bad things, but don't do it.

As parents or adults, I think we really have to mind our words and actions as well, as these really influence the kids, and they always learn from us, sometimes without we knowing it.

I agree with you that, we should let the guardians take care of their own kids, and we shouldn't go beyond our limits, unless it's really necessary. I have experienced many times, when I am there, but people still scolding my children. They are actually climbing up and down, and I totally think it's fine and safe. But some adults don't think so, and they scolded my children in front of me, and threatened them they will beat them if they don't get down. Moreover, I have already told them several times, I let my children do that, and it's safe! Sometimes when my children play in the rain, they get scolded by the people who walk passed my house too (neighbors). As parents or adults, I think we really have to mind our words and actions as well, as these really influence the kids, and they always learn from us, sometimes without we knowing it. I agree with you that, we should let the guardians take care of their own kids, and we shouldn't go beyond our limits, unless it's really necessary.

Yup, that's why I always tell my mom to be mindful of what she says to my son. Although I'm not perfect as a parent, I try to be mindful of what I say to my son. My mom is a nice person but she can get carried away with her emotions sometimes.

I have also the same sentiment as you. Sometimes, I'd let my son touch the leaves or the soil since he really is curious about the surroundings. My neighbours would stop him though and tell that it's dirty. I'm not worried though since I wash his hands anyway when we go home. Plus, it's a learning experience as well, just like you allowing your kids to climb up and down. They will build more physical strength that way just like my son will be learning from touching various textures of leaves and soil as well.

In any case, we know what we're doing. We won't let our kids get in trouble because we're their parents. I just wish other parents or people can see that.

missiemouse said:

Yup, that's why I always tell my mom to be mindful of what she says to my son. Although I'm not perfect as a parent, I try to be mindful of what I say to my son. My mom is a nice person but she can get carried away with her emotions sometimes.

I have also the same sentiment as you. Sometimes, I'd let my son touch the leaves or the soil since he really is curious about the surroundings. My neighbours would stop him though and tell that it's dirty. I'm not worried though since I wash his hands anyway when we go home. Plus, it's a learning experience as well, just like you allowing your kids to climb up and down. They will build more physical strength that way just like my son will be learning from touching various textures of leaves and soil as well.

In any case, we know what we're doing. We won't let our kids get in trouble because we're their parents. I just wish other parents or people can see that.

Yes, I agree with you. We really need to be mindful of what we say. I told my parents the same as well, though I know they didn't purposely say something that might be hurtful. I always remind myself as well. We are all learning as parents.

I always let my children play in the nature, or with the natural stuffs as well - play in the mud puddle, play with the leaves or soil, etc. I think this is good for the children, and I am sure they don't get sick because of this, as they never did. Perhaps it's because I stay in the city, the people around seem to be more protective to the children.

I understand everyone has his own parenting style, I respect theirs, and I hope they respect mine as well.

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kaka135 said:
Yes, I agree with you. We really need to be mindful of what we say. I told my parents the same as well, though I know they didn't purposely say something that might be hurtful. I always remind myself as well. We are all learning as parents.

I always let my children play in the nature, or with the natural stuffs as well - play in the mud puddle, play with the leaves or soil, etc. I think this is good for the children, and I am sure they don't get sick because of this, as they never did. Perhaps it's because I stay in the city, the people around seem to be more protective to the children.

I understand everyone has his own parenting style, I respect theirs, and I hope they respect mine as well.

Yeah, that's the good thing about being parents, we can learn as time goes by. We can learn through others or just through our own experiences. And it's essential that we realise just how much more we need to learn and that what we know isn't everything yet. And although our parents are older, times are changing and what they do know may not be compatible with the times now. But yeah, I still listen to them though and respect their opinions.

Hmmm... Yes, letting them play with dirt also builds up their immune system. Getting them all sanitised and clean all the time is not that good. That's why I try to let my son experience all these things. I'm glad you share the same sentiments as me. And I know some parents are too keen on cleanliness, so I do respect their parenting style as well. I don't really tell another parent that, "Hey, you need to let your child dirty once in a while..." That's just not me and I don't force my beliefs on other parents.

I would never allow another parent to spank my child. I do not even like another parent to discipline my child in my presence unless it is for a very good reason. If they are taking care of my children and they are misbehaving, then that is fine to discipline them but not in an extreme manner such as spanking.

morgoodie said:
I would never allow another parent to spank my child. I do not even like another parent to discipline my child in my presence unless it is for a very good reason. If they are taking care of my children and they are misbehaving, then that is fine to discipline them but not in an extreme manner such as spanking.

I agree with you. There were a few times I did discipline other kids, as they were trying to hit my children or other kids with stick or punch them in the park, and the parents didn't notice it. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, hence I just stopped them from hitting. But, I just said "no hitting", and I didn't really scold or spank.

So, if my children are hurting others, then I don't mind other adults discipline them, but as you said, no spanking.

No! It will drive me crazy if I understand that someone has spanked my kid! Even if it's my husband! Maybe that's because my kid is still very small and any thought about spanking sounds crazy to me, but I aim towards a no-spanking discipline. Even when my kid is naughty, I try other methods of showing him what is right (and what not).

zoribrida said:
No! It will drive me crazy if I understand that someone has spanked my kid! Even if it's my husband! Maybe that's because my kid is still very small and any thought about spanking sounds crazy to me, but I aim towards a no-spanking discipline. Even when my kid is naughty, I try other methods of showing him what is right (and what not).

Yes, same here! My husband and I have agreement even before our first child was born, we agree on no spanking. It'd be better of no yelling or scolding as well. There are many other gentle disciplines which we believe will be better for the children as well.

Just to mention that, 30 April is National Spank Out Day. I have read many parenting sites are offering many gentle parenting methods or techniques rather than punishments.