Fights between siblings

Like I have said I have three daughters. My eldest is 5 years old and second is turning 3 in June. I also have a 1 year old. Lately the two older ones can go at it with their toys. Now I have a really short tolerance for whining and fighting. Does any one have some suggestions on what I can do? I know it's normal for siblings to fight and I know first hand how me and my brothers went at it. Although I would like them to get use to getting along with each other and sharing with each other.

I have this problem more now than I did when they were younger. They used to get along pretty good but occasionally they would argue over what they wanted to play. I have a boy and a girl and they do not always want to play just girl things or just boy things. When they could not agree upon what to play because they both had their own idea, I would have them combine the ideas into one game so that each were playing what they wanted. It worked sometimes and other times it did not. When it did not work, then I would have them play separate for a while and eventually they would go to each other and ask the other if they wanted to play with them and the other would say yes. So it all worked out in the end.

That is too cute but my second daughter has the personality of the tantrum and pouting when she can't get her way or her sister doesn't want to give in to sharing something. If they continue fighting they get to meet the magical wall and stand until they can play nicely with each other. My eldest daughter is behaved and nice enough to give in to her younger sister but I also don't want my second to start thinking that she will always get her way if she throws a tantrum. I think my eldest just doesn't want the corner so gives in.

At my house when the kids fight over toys or possessions I remind them that all the toys and possessions actually belong to me. They can play with them as long as they get along. If they can;t get along then it's my toy and I will keep it. Sometimes I even throw toys away if it has caused too much trouble. It's my house, I have to clean it and take care of it so all the toys are actually mine. This has always worked very well for us. The kids either stop fighting or the toy is gone. Keep whining and I'll get rid of more toys.When our kids were little like yours we used this as a great time to discard cheap or broken toys from the dollar store or something. It could be something that the kid had never played with but it got their attention because I was throwing away a TOY!

I feel you about your kids fighting. It was much easier when they were younger that it is right now for me. My son is 7 years old and my daughter is 5 years old. They get along some days and then other days it's just bad. They are kind of close in age, but I think that little bit of gap does not help some days. Right now, little sister wants to do everything he does. She is a bit spoiled so that is our fault. She thinks she can get by with a lot of things and will push her brother. I have been doing time outs and talks about good/nice behavior. That has seemed to help. Also developing a reward system for every time they do something nice for each other helps them repeat that behavior. I am beginning to get more peace since they have been trying to get a long more. We will see how it goes.

tina122321 said:
At my house when the kids fight over toys or possessions I remind them that all the toys and possessions actually belong to me. They can play with them as long as they get along. If they can;t get along then it's my toy and I will keep it. Sometimes I even throw toys away if it has caused too much trouble. It's my house, I have to clean it and take care of it so all the toys are actually mine. This has always worked very well for us. The kids either stop fighting or the toy is gone. Keep whining and I'll get rid of more toys.When our kids were little like yours we used this as a great time to discard cheap or broken toys from the dollar store or something. It could be something that the kid had never played with but it got their attention because I was throwing away a TOY!

I just love the authoritative voice I could hear while reading this. Sounds like something I would say to my kids anyway. My daughter has had her cellphone privileges taken away last night but not for fighting with her sibling just because she took it outside and left it outside without my knowing. Its a good thing no on came by it otherwise she be even sadder than she is that it got taken away. I have noticed that my eldest is good in adjusting to playing with her little sister because she doesn't want her privileges gone as well she doesn't the corner and for me to be mad at her. I admire how big of a girl she can be when her little sister starts acting up. But I give my second daughter who is only turning 3 this June same punishments of standing in the corner. I can smile at how they hate the corner just as much as I did as a kid.

Well, my suggestion might be a bit expensive. Back when we were kids, my mom always buys two of everything for my sister and me. And that includes snacks and toys as well. This way, we won't have to fight for something. Of course, she cannot do this with the Playstation though or the computer, so for that we just take turns in playing with them.

My mom didn't really put us on timeout back then as well. Since we always have two of our toys, we don't fight over them anymore. In the rare instances that we fight, our mom just explains to us that we are sisters and we shouldn't fight with each other.

I'm basing this off of my experience since I only have one kid right now. Lol. I'll get back to you when I have another one, which hopefully isn't going to be the case for at least 5 or 10 years. Haha!

I have two boys ages 6 and 13. You would think having this larger age gap that the boys would get along but no they fight too. I think part of it is just being siblings. I think the fighting is normal to some degree. They are testing out things on each other that if they did it to their friends they might lose them. They are learning forgiveness and fairness. I'm ok with them fighting every here and there but when it becomes all day I have to separate them. I usually send my older one to his room and he goes on his ipod and the younger one just plays quietly with lego. Then I have peace in my house.