Appropriate age for Children Dating

I constantly have this argument with my husband who says his children must be 18 years before they begin dating. I do not agree with this because I think it is too late then. I propose 16 years.

What do you propose? When will you permit your children to begin dating?

If I remember correctly, I was about 15 when I started dating. I will probably allow my children to date at the same age. I also think it depends on the maturity of your child. If you have a child that is very responsible and follows the rules I think 15 or 16 is an acceptable age. However; if your child hasn't shown you that she can be responsible then you may want to wait until she is older.

I remember I had my first "boyfriend" in 4th grade, so I was 9 or 10? When I think back about it I can't believe my dad was ok with it, but it was so tame and benign there was really nothing to worry about. The boy would just leave me little presents like pencils and stickers, and we all played together, and that's about it.

My 5 year old has picked a little girlfriend the last 3 years at preschool too! So I don't know what to say about official dating - some people just start interactions/friendships with the opposite sex earlier than others.

I think if you raise your kids properly to know what is acceptable treatment of others, and what kind of treatment to expect for themselves, then having a boy/girl friend at any age shouldn't be a major issue. If you have taught them appropriate behavior, then their relationship should stay age appropriate. At least that's the best we can hope for, because we can't really police them when they are out of our sight at school.

I propose they never date and I arrange my daughters to be married off. Ok I am just joking on that one but then again. I don't think 16 or 18 is the issue. I suggest you let her go on a date if the boy is a gentleman and they wouldn't mind a chaperone. Teaching them the right way of dating and to honor each other in mutual respect is the key in letting them date so early. If not they will find ways to get around you. Be open with you kid and if they are responsible enough than why not?

I am so glad I have not come to this issue yet. My daughter is only 10 and I keep telling her she cannot date until she is 30. I am only half joking too. It is so much different than when I was a teenager. I think it depends on the maturity level of your child when you should let them date. Bringing them up right and teaching them the way it should be on a date is important. You should also talk to them about different scenarios and what to do in case something goes wrong and they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation. You can never be too careful. I dread this day but I know it will be here before I know it.

Another thought I had on this issue... was I know we all turned out alright, but I do know girls I grew up with that never dated and finally never married or found that "someone", and are still alone in their late 30's. I don't know if their parents had anything to do with it, by instating a no dating policy or instilling some kinds of fears, but I do know quite a few girls who never started dating when they finally were college aged.

So I just think what ever age your child starts a connection with one particular person of the opposite sex is a good time to take it as a learning opportunity about what is appropriate in relationships, etc. Otherwise the next relationship they start you may not be around to police, and they will have to figure things out on their own.

Children these days grow up too fast for us to imagine. We hear cases of children as young as twelve getting pregnant.
According to me the appropriate age to start dating is when they have developed an interest in the opposite sex. I would allow my eleven year old girl to go on a date for ice cream or park with a boy.

Tying down our children is what makes them get carried away and have sex on the first date with a person. Giving them freedom is better.

darkchild said:
I constantly have this argument with my husband who says his children must be 18 years before they begin dating. I do not agree with this because I think it is too late then. I propose 16 years.

What do you propose? When will you permit your children to begin dating?

Although I do understand where your husband is coming from when it comes to children not being allowed to date until they turn 18, I definitely agree with you. I think 16 is a good age for a child to start dating. They do start to have some maturity at that age and pretty much know right from wrong. I did allow my daughter to go to a special ed prom with her close friend last year when she was 15 but my husband and I were there as chaperons for part of it and knew we could trust her friend. As far as serious dating goes 16 is a good number.

I think that this is one of the areas where parents might differ a lot more than usual when it comes to what their rules are. I have heard of some old school parents who do want their child to wait until they are 18, for whatever reason. For us, when it came to our kids I think we got lucky because they both had meaningful relationships when they were around 16 or so with girls that we knew, so it was a little different. I am sure when you have bigger cities and more risk involved then it might be a different story.