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Envy of love for a new comer

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I have three daughters and I have noticed my eldest is starting to push away from me. She will tell some people she wants to be baby because mama loves the baby.

I always try to explain to her that I love her just as much and tell her all that I am grateful for. I explain to her not to be envious because she is a big sister and should love and be happy for her younger siblings..

What else can I do? I never want her to feel she is unloved or not loved enough.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
It sounds like it may be the perfect time for you to do a more grown up girly activity with just you and the oldest one. That will give her a special moment with you, as well as a reason to be happy she's older, and not a baby anymore.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I've often heard about this type of thing happening and it's very normal when there are siblings involved, and especially a baby.

The best idea I've heard when it comes to dealing with it is to give each child some private "Mama Time"... they love it. Like plan some things to do with your eldest, just the two of you. The first thing that came to mind (and I just have one daughter, so I haven't needed to put any of this in practice!) is things like giving each other a manicure complete with nail polish. My niece loves that. Of course, it would depend on the age of your daughter... if she's ... well like a teenager, I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate that as much as a 7 year old might. Very happy

Cookie baking session with her favorite kind of cookie... just you and her in the kitchen? Museum or movie for the two of you? Window shopping at the mall? Since she's older than the others, maybe letting her stay up an extra little time at night to do something with just you... like reading together or a craft?

Those are just the first few ideas that came to me. I hope you'll be able to find something that will work for you!

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I really feel sorry for grown children whom have had attention shifted from them by a new member of the family. It is really tasking for the parents to divide attention among all children. I think a timetable should be made when to spend time with each and every one of them.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I appreciate all the advices. I will try it too, I think she just needs time with me. Ever since her step dad came in the picture than her siblings came she had been acting different. If I get mad at her she takes it in deeply. I always try to talk to her and explain. But we never really had activities with it being just her and me so definitely planning on trying that.

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