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Miscarriage while TTC

CHD88CHD88
posted 3 years 2 months ago
I recently had my first miscarriage after two successful pregnancies. It has been discouraging and a bit depressing. I was 9 weeks pregnant. My husband and I were trying for our third and final baby. Now, he does not seem interested in even talking about trying again, which makes the whole thing a all the more depressing. The hope of still eventually having another baby has been getting me through the moments where all of the emotions hit at once. I wonder if anyone else has experienced a similar situation. Is there any advice you would offer? Not to be insensitive, but did you have more miscarriages after the first?


MariposaMariposa
posted 3 years 2 months ago
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to go through this. Sad Face Yes, I've been there... I was 5 months along and it was devastating.

Sounds as if this has hit your husband harder than he's probably letting you see. If I'd have any advice at all, it's to not push him about getting pregnant right away again. Everyone has to grieve in their own way, and to him, he most likely feels that he doesn't want the risk at this point. Probably important to let some time pass. Too many people think that these things don't hit the dads hard, too, but they do.

No, your question wasn't insensitive... and my own answer is that no, I didn't have a second miscarriage... I had a healthy baby second.

TrinityTrinity
posted 1 year 6 months ago
Hi, CHD88.
I truly understand the pain that you are currently going through when I had a miscarriage some four years ago I felt devastated. Fortunately, friends and family gave me a lot of support. In such situations, you need to take in the advice that you get from your doctor. You may probably be wondering as to why this had to happen when in the first two pregnancies ended up in live births. Several factors led to your problem, you need to find the time and visit your doctor for advice before you come up with an informed decision on the way forward. Even as you think of seeing your doctor, you need to know that chromosomal abnormalities cause miscarriages in early pregnancies. When gametes meet at the time of conception, some may be too few or too many, whenever the number of chromosomes is off then the pregnancy can't survive thus ending in a miscarriage. However, not all conceptions with abnormal chromosomes fail. Some of the things that end up causing pregnancy failure include drug misuse, smoking, and health issues like obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and autoimmune diseases. Other causes are placental problems, infections, and medications.

nooranoora
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I'm so sorry about your MC. I know how it feels. I know how painful it is. I still remember how I felt after mine and that was horrible. My DH and I have gone through a lot during past 8 years. I had 3 MCs and I should say they broke me, my mental and physical health. Each loss was unbearable. I was stressed and depressed all the time. Sometimes I can't believe I survived after going through all that shit. Though our tries to TTC didn't give results, we moved on and we are waiting for our baby to be born via surrogacy. I think you should talk with your DH even if it seems he doesn’t want to. Your MC is hard for him to cope with. I think he may be scared to try again. Both of you should talk your feelings out and decide what to do next. I want to say that there are still options available. So don't give up! Don't let stress to control you and your mind.

StelllaStellla
posted 1 year 1 month ago
Hello dear! I'm really sorry you have to go through such pain. I know that this is really hard to be strong in such situation. I had 6 miscarriages. I completely understand the reason why you chose such method to stop feeling the pain. We have been trying to conceive for 8 years. These years were a nightmare for us. I am very lucky I have supportive husband. But his and mine parents make the situation worse. They can't stop asking when we will give them grandchildren. They can't stop blaming me in inability to have children. They can't stop turning my life into a nightmare. In such situation it is very hard not to give up and stop trying. I've changed so many doctors, so many hospitals. I've tried literally everything to get pregnant and the most important to save the pregnancy. Unfortunately nothing worked for me. We wasted so much money and nerves and got nothing in result. After the pain we went through I'm actually surprised that we still have tiny bit of hope. We are thinking about the surrogacy option. This is our last chance and we want to use it. Dear I wish you all the best! I hope you will find answers to your questions. I wish you to find an option which will help you to become a mother!

ZaidiZaidi
posted 1 year 3 weeks ago
sorry to hear about your MC. It is indeed a loss especially when you are planning for the ultimate child of yours. You are lucky to have to have two children. I have come across people who are dying to have one and can't conceive a single. I hope you have checked with your doctor after the miscarriage, There are a number of reasons behind the miscarriages. It is very important to learn the reason behind your miscarriage. Sometimes any internal infection may lead to the miscarriage. Malfunctioning of the reproductive organs is also a contributing factor in the miscarriages. With every passing day, the body of the woman faces multiple changes. Hormonal dysfunctioning can result in the miscarriages too. You have not mentioned your age either. If you are above 35 years then it is important to learn that women above this age are mostly facing the problem of miscarriages. Do get your thyroid function checked. Any disturbance in the thyroid level may lead o the miscarriages at the end. I hope that you can come back to normal conditions so that you can conceive for your final child again.

SandraSmeltzSandraSmeltz
posted 1 year 3 weeks ago
Hi there!!!I suffered a miscarriage in my 4 months, I always remembered this devasted and worst day.Losing a child is the worst thing in the world.Even not a strong woman copes with this easily.It's too difficult and I never thought that this would happen to me.I think I had to find it much harder than I had not prepared my self for this bad thing.I know everyone is different but I think you should try again and take it better luck.I hope you will get better success.I knew it's too much hard to forget.the feeling and attachment with the baby is very high and suddenly it will go away and all your dreams broke.I wish that you had better and good news in the future.Lots of baby dust.Take care.Much love!!!Good luck.

AmberAmber
posted 5 months 2 weeks ago
So sorry for your loss. I know that there is nothing that can be said to ease your pain. All of the best wishes and from everyone does not bring your baby back. Please just know that people are thinking of you, feel for you and have been in your position. I'm very sorry to hear about this. I know there are no words that can make you feel better. I can only empathize with you. As everyone else has said, there's nothing that I or anyone can say to ease your mind, BUT I would suggest to try NOT being alone too much. As most of the women on this forum, I'm TTC and it's been very frustrating for me and my husband. My heart goes out to you. But I am so very sorry that you have to go through this. I just hope God will ease your pain. You are going to have to go through the grief, but hopefully you will be able to come out of it with new hope. Just keep believing it will happen. Not today, but it will. The good thing is that you can keep on trying again and it'll come to you.

joannjjjoannjj
posted 5 months 2 weeks ago
So sorry for your loss, dear. There is no word to tell you how bad I feel about this situation. I know the feeling of going through this. I had m/c last week. I’m glad my DH was there with me. Started bleeding on mon. It was really painful (emotionally). That would have been our 1st baby. We’ve been trying for 7 yrs. Finally got pregnant (through IVF) but I lost it. It hurts me so much. But I’m not losing any hope. Hopefully next time it will be a successful one. I want to TTC right away… But I don’t know when my AF will come. I know you need also to grieve. Just to let you know we're thinking of you. Take care & good luck to you.

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