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Parenting a Teenager

posted 8 years 4 months ago
My oldest just turned 13. He's a great kid but I'm starting to notice some things are changing. He's starting to get acne, sleeps in until 10 am and can stay up until 11 pm easily. He's eating me out of house and home. Anyone else going through the teen years? Any advice how to survive the hormones, attitude, independence?

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I have two teens, I so hear you! lol.
Teens are no longer young children and not yet adults, they can't be compared. They need more sleep than the rest of us, so working that out is a must or they'll easily become exhausted and overwhelmed, which doesn't help the whole attitude thing if that's an issue lol. I allowed my kids to self regulate and it worked like a charm.

Independence and finding their place in the world is huge.. it's so important we keep their trust so they learn to stay trustworthy.. respect them, so they will be respectful.. be honest, open, communicate etc etc. Treat them as young adults, getting ready for the world and let them know we're there for them. It will give them comfort and pride and they'll live up to the person they're treated as. Maybe you've seen the meme going around about being the adult you always needed growing up? I just found it recently, but it pretty much describes how I go about things.

Hormones and attitude can be a part of the package, but keep in mind we ALL have our moments.. kids shouldn't be held up to higher standards that we ourselves don't always have a grip on. I allow my kids their feelings, no matter what they are and if disrespect starts to sneak up, I remind them I don't disrespect them. They quickly feel bad, because they know I don't behave the same way towards them, so they aplogize and take another route. They' re still learning AND getting used to their new bodies and feelings and responsibilities and age etc, I'm not going to shame them for their misteps. Attitude doesn't last around here, because of the respect I've raised them with. It's first and foremost, which guides every last decision I make with them. So they've grown to be very respectful in return.. good heads on their shoulders.

Don't go into it dreading the teen years.. trust them.. they're seriously underestimated in general and will stumble finding their way. We have to be their team mates, not another hurdle. For me, it's been the most amazing experience. I loved my babies, but my teens have been the best Smile

posted 8 years 4 months ago
Buckle up and enjoy the ride! My son is just like me, so I'm a little scared LOL. Teenagers are like toddlers on steroids. They're experiencing more complicated emotions, gaining a new level of independence, and really growing into their personalities. All this, with a larger vocabulary, and less cuteness. Try to be level ground when everything starts to shake (basically, what JosieP said). Good luck!

posted 8 years 3 months ago
Oh my can I relate. The attitude that comes with the teenage years is about enough to drive you insane isn't it?

I have a 17 year old and a 15 year old son. I can honestly say in my experience, it does get a bit easier over time.

As has already been mentioned, their bodies go through a lot of change. Their minds are filled with questions and their life is full of confusion. Try to be open! I cannot stress that enough! Maintain the lines of communication and always let your child know you are there for them no matter what. Topics are going to come up that are going to be hard for not only you to discuss but them as well. Trust me, they feel just as uncomfortable as you do most of the time.

Not only their bodies changing but their entire world. They're entering or just in the first year of Junior High. That's a huge change to adjust to! In Junior High the cliques start to form. You don't tend to see that in elementary school. They start to gain new friends but lose what they thought were close friends in the process.

With my own children, I've noticed they want their own independence. While they are not adults yet, they are no longer exactly children either and they do not like to be treated as children. I cannot count the number of times I've heard that they are sick of me controlling their life! Don't forget that they begin to think they know everything as well lol.

One thing that I have to keep reminding myself on a day to day basis is that I was them one time! I remember saying the same exact things and thinking that I knew everything. My mother always tells me that my children are her payback for the way I was as a child. She was definitely right!

There is light at the end of the tunnel! Teenagers are developing their own independence and it's a complicated journey. There's going to be trial and error. In the end, you'll be a stronger parent and hopefully be able to give them some insight when they go through the same thing!

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