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Telling of lies

posted 8 years 11 months ago
- My blog
I haven't been on here for ages but feel the need for some outside advice, please. Cut to the chase, my husband tells lies! He does it about just about everything. He exaggerates a lot too. The lies can go from why he is late from work to denying he has done something even when he has done it in front of me (or others). His latest extravagant lie was over something stupid...We very very rarely have an alcoholic drink, but when we were younger we went to a phase of when we had been abroad, to bring back a bottle of the local tipple. Needless to say we have a cupboard full of drinks that will never be opened. Having moved home and downsizing space is of a premium so when I have been asked to donate to raffles I have been putting in a bottle of unopened 'something', (with full knowledge of my husband). This month was different, I did as we always do and picked something out. Halfway there he said I couldn't put in that bottle. I asked why not and that is where it began. I wish I hadn't asked! His reason, instead of just saying 'because i'd like to keep it and maybe try it one day' was as follows...'I brought that back from Czecslovakia, it was the last ever bottle made, you cant buy it anymore, I wont beable to replace it, it's special. And he went on and on. It may sound petty now, but what has really upset me is that it is a pack of lies. He didn't get it from Czecsovakia (please excuse spelling). We went to Prague after the country split (and years after). We bought it there from duty free, pooling the remainder of our money, together. It's still available, on the internet, in exactly the same bottle, from exactly the same place, and it's very very cheap! This is just one example of his ridiculous lies. Oh, and when I showed him on the internet that it was still available, he turned it all around to be me (as usual) then denying that he had said any of it at all. This time he has said it all infront of someone else so at least I know i'm not going crazy. I'm really upset about the lies as I am an incredibly honest person, I admit when I've done something wrong, where as he uses lie after lie to cover up any mistakes he's made from speeding tickets, car park bumps, reasons for being late, missing appointments, not visiting his family etc etc. I love him, and he has a really good side to him that is just being overshadowed by this. It's getting to the point where very few people trust anything he says. Thankyou for listening. x

posted 8 years 5 months ago
Thanks for sharing your husband's story. This sounds quite serious though. I think that most people lie because they could get something out of it or they could cover something up and make themselves feel better. I don't really know much of your husband or his history and I understand that he has some good in him it's just that compulsive lying gets in the way. I admire your sense of honesty and I truly believe that you can find a way to get your husband to stop telling lies. From the way you told things, you may need to seek advice from a mental health professional and have your husband assessed. I know it's hard but there's really no other way to help him other than to get a professional involved.

posted 8 years 5 months ago
I really feel for you. It must be hard living with someone who lies, especially when you value honesty. I think you need to let him know how his lies have a negative impact on your relationship, how it makes you feel when you know he is lying. I think you need to get to the reason of why he lies. Is it to make himself seem more important, to cover up mistakes, for self protection, exaggeration etc. I think this can only be done with the help of a mental health professional. Talking to someone will definitely help. It isn't easy but I'm sure with some help he can learn that it is far easier to tell the truth than to concoct lies. Good luck.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
@jea Maybe your husband is trying to impress you and in the process he lies so much; but you should note that the lying did not start in his adult days but from childhood and was not curbed. Now he is full grown, it would be difficult to stop him from lying.

If I may ask; have you asked him to stop lying before? I do it to my husband when I know he is exaggerating and lying to impress me just to have an upper hand and feel he has more experience, I just casually say "Stop lying, I am not a child". He gets ashamed and makes an excuse for it and I tell him "May God forgive you". He gradually stopped but I hope you can cut your husband off in the middle of a lying statement every once in a while and make him stop because he may think you do not know that he lies.

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