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Father wants to hand his rights over

posted 1 decade 1 year ago
So, My ex was a total bully in our relationship, He spent all the money while I worked, He cheated, He played mind games, He was just not nice. I had been broken up with him for 4 months when I found out i was pregnant.

Since our daughter was born I have pushed him to be a dad, and Ive become fed up of getting the impression he's only a dad so people dont think bad of him or if he's a really good dad I will take him back.

Well today I asked him "do you even want to be a dad to our child" his reply was "no"
I told him our child is better off with no father then a father who pretends to be there, he agreed.

He said he will walk out our lives now and not come back, I dont believe him. He will get bored in a few months and come back to cause some drama and stress like he always does. (I cant just walk away, he has rights and wont take him long to find where I am) So to "prove" to me hes serious, He said he will hand over his parental responsibility in front of a judge.

I want to take this offer while he still means it.

How do we go about it? (I understand he needs to apply for the Discharge of a parental responsibility order or agreement)
What circumstances will a judge accept him handing over his parental responsibility?

Is there another way? Like a form where he hands his rights over or is it the Discharge of a parental responsibility route we take?

posted 1 decade 1 year ago
To be honest any court will want him to take financial responsibility for the child and it would be a very long and distressing process. During that process if he at any time changes his mind and wants to be part of your child's life he will be able to do that, especially now with 'fathers for justice'. You may also at a later date change how you feel once feelings have calmed down between the two of you. Unless there is really good reason, like if he were abusive, I don't really see this being an option that can be achieved with any speed or ease. If it were that simple I'm sure more people would do it. Sorry, probably not what you want to hear.

posted 1 decade 1 month ago
That does sound like a very difficult situation. A good advice is to never act when emotions are high. Simply because strong emotions make us stupid.

This applies to both positive and negative emotions. When we feel strong emotions, our "higher brain" also called the neo-cortex that allow us to make smart decisions and think more complex thoughts than animals does not work well.

Always take time out to calm down and then make a decision when you feel calm. Also discuss this with a 3rd party that is not emotionally involved as someone involved can often just make you feel more negative emotions and cloud your judgement even more.

I really hope you find a good solution to this that is best for both you and your child.

posted 9 years 1 week ago
If you feel that he can't change and his abuse will continue and he will be a bad influence on your baby then you should accept his offer no matter how long the process is. It is better for all of you.

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