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I want her back so badly

posted 1 decade 2 years ago
This might be quite long, so bare with me!

Me and my ex-girlfriend went out for just under 2 years.

The last few months of the relationship weren't great. Lots of arguing and falling out with each other.
We both didn't agree on certain things. E.g: moving in together in the future, going on holiday together. It was her that suggested all these things, but I foolishly didn't want any of it.
In February, I had enough and I wanted out; I wanted to be single. We had a massive discussion and in the end said that we would try again. BUT, up until then, I thought I loved her, but then the love seemed to have gone. I told her that I didn't love her any more, and she still wanted to be with me.

We tried again for a short amount of time, only 2/3 weeks, as I felt that nothing was changing and that I still wanted to be single. We then broke up proper and I went my own way. This was around a month or so ago.

The past week and a half, I have started to think about her... a lot. Then one day it just hit me and I thought to myself... S**t... I thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me.

After a few days of thinking about it, I told her how I felt. I gave it a few days as I wanted to be sure that it was her that I wanted & not that I was just missing someone. One of the first things she said to me is that if I had said this to her about 2 1/2 weeks before, then there wouldn't of been any question to it, she would of said yes straight away.

We had a chat for about an hour and she kept saying that she has started to move on and doesn't know what to do. I didn't talk to her after we broke up for about 2 weeks.. she said that she was so upset and felt so down about it all, so now she has got over it and has tried to move on, partly as I forced has as I was so convinced that I wanted to be on my own.

I went and saw her mum a few days ago as we got on quite well. I explained how much of a pr*tt I felt and that I really missed her. She didn't really give me much information, but to wait and see what she says once she has made her decision.

So now it currently sits that I want her back really badly as I miss her being with me. She doesn't know what to do as she seems to think that the pain of before will get in the way of us two being together.

This has been a massive reality check for me. It has made me realise all sorts of things about me and the relationship. For example; I would defiantly want to move in with her, go on more nights out together and book a holiday up for the two of us.
The main point that I have realised, is that I do love her. I have put a lot of thought into this (as I expect you can all imagine!) and I do want to be with her and I really do love her.

I know that from one of our mutual friends, she has said that she still loves me, which is a bonus.

I know I have put her through a hell of a lot and that she really did miss me when I broke up with her... and now I'm feeling it! It's like we have switched roles with each other.

I am going to meet up with her Thursday, so I can tell her a lot of this stuff, just so she knows all that I want to say before she makes a decision.

Any advise on what to do would be great.. this feeling that I have got is horrible and I am so sorry to her for making her feel like this.. well.. I expect she felt much worse than this!



posted 8 years 1 month ago
Wow it must have been hard writing about all this. I hope everything worked out between the two if you and you both are together now.

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