Smother-in-law is driving me insane!!!!

I just want opinions on whether or not Im being a bitch about this or if im right to be losing my freaking mind with constant rage about this woman.....
My mother in law lives in the basement suite of our home and this is the over-involved crap ive been putting up with for the past two years:

-She constantly does our laundry, even after being told multiple times to leave it alone

-Shes gone into our home on numerous occasions when we're not home and cleaned(even our bedroom)

-She takes over ALL aspects of my husbands birthdays (breakfast,lunch,dinner AND cake) without even asking first what my plans may be

-She buys gifts for us to give to our children to say we bought them, as if we cant do it our freakin selves

-She cries her eyes out like a basketcase even when my husband just has the flu (she also told me once when I was sick that I should sleep on the couch so he wouldnt get sick)

-She calls about 7 times a day for random unimportant reasons

-She USED to just show up in our home unannounced until my hubby finally put chain locks on the door, so now she just comes to the back porch and knocks insistently like 4 times a day

-She bought a fathers day card for me to give to him on his first fathers day, something i was excited about doing and isnt her job to be doing

-She feels the need to give unwanted advice and suggestions daily. And Im sorry to say it but her suggestions are semi retarded.

-She thinks that koolaid is good for our toddler, and when told not to give it to her, does anyway and then lies about it

-Buys random used shit for us that we dont need

Put simply, she just wont go AWAY...!!! I want one day of peace!! But she doesnt get it!! My husband has literally YELLED at her to give us space and its like she just doesnt hear it. Am i crazy for going crazy?

I'm sure your mother in law is doing all these things out of love; and some of it does seem kind BUT I totally sympathise with you. The problem it seems to me is that she is a normal granny/mum doing what they like to do. she is just TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT!!

On her part the cleaning and laundry are her way of helping BUT you need your privacy and to have control of your life.

Your child is YOUR child and she should not interfear. I sympathise here as my nan (as much as I love her) does things like this and it makes me feel undermined and very cross with her.

To be honest the only way I can see this changing is if she moves out away from you so you only see her once or twice a week and you have control back in your life but I'm guessing this isn't likely to happen. Poor you, I know some people wouldn't understand but I really do hear what you are saying.

Perhaps you could invent a 'family day' once a week which is where you all spend time together and she can come into your home and do all these fussy things she likes doing. On this day you will make an effort and embrace it. BUT on the other days of the week your introduce a more strict code of privacy. Your life is your life and hers is hers. Put great emphasis on the 'family day' so she fills her role then. Good luck.