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Please Help with my 2 Year Old

posted 1 decade 2 years ago
I really need some help and advice on how to tackle an issue I have with my 2 year old daughter.

Over the past 3 months she seems to have started to dislike me. She was very affectionate to me and would always cuddle me, tell me she loves me and want my attention. Now she tells me constantly that she doesn't like me, she bites me and smacks me and when I try to do something for her (like dress her) she kicks at me. She won't cuddle me or kiss me, even if asked. At least 5 times each day she will say "I don't like you mummy" or "go away" or "I don't want you".

She's very different with my husband, cuddles and kisses him frequently and tells him she loves him. He is a stay-at-home-dad so I always did expect they might be closer, but not like this, also, it wasn't a problem until recently.

I am 5 months pregnant and have wondered if this could be behinde her sudden change. I have been doing a little less of the caring for her (for instance, my husband takes her to bed on a night now every night where as before we would alternate) as I've been quite ill with my pregnancy. But I always make time for her and we do a lot together, it just doesn't seem to make her feel any more affection for me.

At the moment I'm feeling pretty heartbroken about this. I work with children and families in early years so always thought I'd have an idea as to how to deal with an difficulties I had with my daughter, but I just don't know how to tackle this. I want my little girl to be loving with me like she used to, I can't bare the idea that, at 2 years old, I've already lost that lovely mother-daughter relationship.
Any advice you could offer would be brilliant, my husband really doesn't understand and thinks I'm reading too much into things. Thank you.

posted 1 decade 2 years ago
I have three children aged 8, 5 and 2 and over the years have had ups and downs with each of them. There have been times when they have been through particular phases of favouring myself or my husband and sometimes it has been hurtful or made one or the other of us sad. What you need to remember is that a child is learning so much, including about emotions and realationships. Your daughter is learning the meaning of words and experimenting and children will often go to the extremes. If you think about it they do many things with no logic, for example my children will eat carrots cut into batons, but if I slice them in circles they say they don't like them even thought the taste is the same!

A new baby can bring some unsettled behaviour, but I found the best way to ease the transition is to avoid any change of routine around the time of the new arrival. I understand you have been tired and unwell, being pregnant with a toddler to look after IS hard work but maybe you could try still taking her to bed alternate nights, even if your husband carries her for you then you tuck her in. Changing routine, even though it's someting so small can be a big deal to a child. If your husband tucks her in every night she goes to sleep thinking of his smily face and cuddles, get back in on that action!! Most importantly just keep going as normal, they go in and out of phases and sometimes test you. What they need to know is that you are still there no matter what they do.

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