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Hitting out 20 month old - please help

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Please can anyone offer me some advise.. ?

I'm a single dad and split with my partner when my daughter was 14 months old. I've always been close to my daughter but split due to rowing with my x and not wanting my child to have to see it. Straight after the split it we decided that I was going to have my daughter every other weekend of which i have been doing for the past 6 months.

First of all there was a few tears when i picked her up but these would stop after after about 5 mins or so but it was nothing major.

Within the past month it has been a real battle and she has been a real nightmare and screams and fights as she does not want to go into her car seat, once she gets to my house she is fine but its the getting her in the car part, the last time i picked her up she cried for 40 mins and sayign she wants her mummy.

I agreed with her mum that i would not take her until she was better with me but said i would visit her at her mums house, the problem is now that when ever i go near her she runs away and say "no" and tries to hit me, she will not let me pick her up or anything, she is fine with everyone else apart from me, this is really upsetting for me as it has come as a shock that she could be like this all of a sudden when nothing has really changed.

Does anyone else have any advise ? i have been going to her mums place for the past 2 weeks and she is getting better but i dont want to ruin it by trying to take her away again ?

Help please :-)

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I would just suggest you try and see her as frequently as you can. If she has a big build up to being taken away from home for a couple of days and then not seeing you for a while she may feel insecure about leaving her mum then just as she feels comfortable with you you are having to take her back home again. I don't know if you do this already but if you could see her atleast twice a week or even three times if possible so the gaps between visits are shorter and more regular she will hopefully feel like you are a more constant fixture in her life and that you will be coming back sooner rather than later.

Also if you can get on with her mum well enough to spend time ALL together, even if it's just a trip to the park or someting she will see some unity between her mummy and daddy, so she wont feel as if she's leaving mummy for daddy when she comes to you, but that you are actually friendly with each other.
Good luck.

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I agree with GTTkel, especially about seeing your daughter multiple times a week, once a fortnight is simply not enough.

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Thanks guys, I have now started to see her once a week and she is getting a little better with me, i would love to she her 3 times a week but they live 2 hours away from me and by the time i finish work i find it hard getting there, then the petrol is a killer as well. I do speak to her on the Phone every day which she really likes, so im hoping that things will improve.


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