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What do you all think?

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Can a man and a woman be friends?

Over the past few months I have been getting to know I really lovely guy who I enjoy chatting to about ordinary stuff, life, things we're doing, things we want to do etc. It is totally innocent. I am obviously married with my three children; and he is in a serious relationship and has just landed himself a new job which will enable he and his girlfriend to get a mortgage hopefully in the near future.

Basically he was my trainer at the gym when I went back to lose the baby weight after my third baby, but we are carrying on training together once a week now in the gym for two reasons. Firstly it's good motivation and secondly we get on well. We never socialise away from the gym or anything and his girlfriend actually works there at the leisure centre (although not in the gym)and as far as I know has no problem with it. So there truely is no big secret thing going on or sneaking about and there never has been. Not to mention the fact that I'm an 'all grown up' 28 year old mum of 3 while he is just 20 and barely grown up yet-well not in comparison to me anyway.
My problem is that my hubby gets jealous. At first he would question if something was going on, but finally I managed to convince him nothing is. But now my hubby questions if there is someone else he should be jealous of and if my friend is a cover up for another man I could be sneaking off to see. Which by the way I can promise you I'm not!
Anyway what I'm trying to work out is does this seem unreasonable? Can a bloke and a woman be friends? If he were a woman there would be no problem but because he's a man it seems to raise questions, although only from my hubby because the other people who work at the gym and see us training together every week never read anything into. Is my hubby just checking up on me and being insecure because our marriage has been through a rocky patch recently? Or is it wrong for me to have male friends? I would like to point out my hubby has female friends!! and also that even if we were both single I really could not imagine having a relationship with my new friend as he's not my type or at the same place in his life as I am so it really is innocent.

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Tbh hun i think you have answered your own question. This isn't about what you are doing wrong. It is about your husbands insecurities. If he has female friends he is hardly able to demand you only have friends of the same sex. Your conscience is clear. you KNOW there is nothing in it so don't go feeling guilty! Hugs hun Xx

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Thank you. I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. It's just that when he acts the way he does it makes me feel as if I'm walking on egg shells which then makes me probably seem more suspicious purely as I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about my mate or not. I feel like if it don't ever say his name it may seem like I'm hiding something, but if I talk about a conversation we've had then my hubby will think I'm going on about him or something.

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Amanda's totally right, you are doing nothing wrong and it is his insecurities.

I have male friends and my husband has female friends, it is OK.


AlexAlex Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I agree with the others, you are doing nothing wrong.xx

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
It would be best also to discuss this matter to him. Fill up his insecurities by talking to him.

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
completley agree with everyone else you are doing nothing wrong having a man as afriend maybe you, your OH and him could go out for a couple of drinks and your OH might feel more comfortable once he gets to know him

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
yeah i think men and women can be friends. I was good friends with a guy i work with but nothing ever happened between us. If you ever saw us together you would think that we were dating. Although due to my past 3 relationships which the first 2 have lasted 12 and then 10 weeks then my last relationship was over 2years because of my past 3 relationships i get very jealous and think they cheat on me...I have been cheated on each time...

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
If you know you're doing the right thing don't worry..go for it..

posted 1 decade 3 years ago
you are doing nothing wrong, i had the same problem with my hubby a few years ago when i was chatting to a friend who happened to be a man.

I think that he maybe is insecure and a bit jelous that you are talking to him rather than DH, maybe just dont discuss with hubby what you have talked about at the gym and maybe hell just forget about him.

I suspect that when you talk about gym instructor that this is what trtiggers the jelousnous its hard for him to hear if it was a girl then perhaps he wouldnt have a problem with it but as its a bloke its hurt his male pride!

Just tread carefully and hell be ok im sure

posted 1 decade 1 year ago
There is nothing wrong to have a male friend, and you are not having an affair. I think you have already made a decision, so keep the friendship.

posted 1 decade 1 year ago
There is nothing wrong for a women to have male friends, just like there isn't anything wrong for a man to have female friends.

posted 4 months 6 days ago
Yes, a man can be friends with a women unless he doesn't fancy her.

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