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Betrayed and upset. Need advice. Help please!!!

posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Hi all,

I don't know where to start. Here goes, I started seeing someone lat year. Circumstances have created problems with his ex because he has a child from a previous relationship. A so-called family friend started spreading rumours about us that his ex has found out and started threatening him. Then another so-called friend of mine started saying it was me that I started the rumours to the guy I'm seeing. I didn't start the rumours. We was trying to keep things quiet for the sake of his child but some how people have found out.

I don't know whether to see him still or call it a day. I feel I'm in an awkward position now. I love him but he has really put me down.

I'm not talking to one of the so-called friends now. I'm keeping my distance from the other so-called friend. I feel betrayed that a friend started the rumours and I didn't. I've been blamed for it instead. Teeth Mad

The guy believes the rumours more than me. I don't think he trusts me. I know it's not my fault but have had fingers pointing at me. This is worst start to the new year. I've been crying all over the weekend, still crying now typing this. Upset

I really need advice.

What shall I do? Has anyone been through this?


posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Not sure where to start as the detail isn't very clear. However just because he has left one relationship and started another I'm not sure why this should be a problem for anybody, or why it should affect his relationship with his child.

At the end of the day your relationship was always going to have to come into the open at some point, and hiding it would only make matters worse.

Perhaps there is more to it, but frankly I'd just ignore the rumours and get on with living life and enjoying the relationship.

posted 1 decade 4 years ago
What are the rumours, sorry to be nosey but it's a bit hard to tell? Is it the fact you've hidden the relationship or something else?

I personally don't get why it's such a big thing for your partners ex if they have split up.

If he doesn't trust you then that's not a good basis for a relationship. Have you asked you friends why they have spread this rumour or what they meant to get out of it if it did split you up (I can only assume this was the idea obviously).

I noticed some posts in pregnancy and trying to conceive and in one it said the bloke didn't want to know if you were pregnant, is this to do with what is going on and being said by people?

posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Were you seeing each other before he split from his ex? Is this the issue? Did he leave her for you? or am I way off here? As said before it's hard to advise without knowing more detail but I think deep down you and he must know if it's going to work or not. Why are people making things up? Is it because they don't think he's good for you? or you for him? Sometimes you'll get a nosey individual stirring things up, but when there are many getting involved there is usually something fuelling the fire! You need to talk and agree once and for all to carry on regardless of others OR be honest if there's something wrong.

posted 1 decade 4 years ago

I agree with others who have replied to your post. It is hard for anyone to help you if you do not tell them what the exact issue/problem is. Meanwhile, stop banging your head and crying and start being true to yourself. If you are certain you did not start any rumours then don't let what people think or say bother you. Just try and get on with your life and stay away from people who give you stress. Smile

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