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young mums

chezchez
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I am 20 and a mum of three but look older than i am. but alot off my frinds have children and they had there children aound the age of 17 the same age i was when i had my oldest. And have mentioned to me quite alot that when they went in hospital to have there babies or when they have seen the midwife, doctor, or health visitor etc they feel like they are looking down at them because of there age. I personaly havent but that could be because i look older. Has anyone else been made to feel like this? because i think its horrible and just because we are younger dont mean we aint capable of doing what a 30 year old does.


kelkel
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi chez.
i have noting against young mums, my sister was one.
i dont realy think they are looking down at u but probably looking at u and thinking u'r so yong and probably scared, i think it is more feeling sorry for young mums. being a young mum is often an accident and very scarey and people often think 'poor thing, she only a kids herself'. i dont think they mean to be patranising. Smile

miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
hi i was seen as as young mum when i gave birth to my daughter 2 weeks after turning 19, yes i feel ppl looked down on me and my BF, i also look young as am only short! but i think if ppl have got anything to say to me they should just say it! jo xx

KeeleysMumKeeleysMum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
i was 18 when i fell pregnant and 19 when i gave birth. My midwife was fantastic, and so was the midwife who delivered Keeley. However they did say how shocked they were that i delivered within 10 mins of getting into the room and wanted no pain relief at all. a couple of sucks on gas and air and she was out. Were they expecting me to request an epidural because i was young??? The after care staff were appauling, patronising and very unhelpful. Whether i was 19 or 29, i was a first time mum and hadnt experienced any of this before. The Health visitors always tried making me feel incapable.... but ive prooved them all wrong..Keeley is so clever, sso advanced and doing more than she should be... surely some of that relects on good parenting from me and Dave?

xxx

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
makes u laugh - i was 19 when i had DD - so was classed as a young mum - but was the oldest one in parentcraft! but all my MWs and HVs saw that i had been a nursery nurse since i was 16 and said "you'll be ok, you work with babies" but that no where near prepares you for having ur own!!!! Its totally differnt having ur own and looking after someone elses! lol!
I loved being a young mum - i feel that i will still get to live my life when DD has grown up and i think young mums can be just as good if not better than some older mums - its how much love and security u give ur children that matters not how much older u are!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I was 19 when I fell on with Charlotte and was 20 when she was born. I do look older than I am but when mws or hvs saw how old I was they were shocked but I noticed that I got more disapproving looks from the public rather than health professionals.

At the end of the day it how you bring up your children not how old you are that matters, I think people seem to forget that unfortunately.

v_preciousv_precious
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I had my first when I was 19. I remember bringing my mum in with me to one appointment to see the m/wife so she could hear the heartbeat (not my regular one mind you) and she spent the entire time talking to my mum rather than me i.e. I would ask a question and she would answer my mum. In the end my mum said to her
"Actually I'm not the one who is pregnant here, perhaps you should talk to my daughter." She was seething!
I also found old school friends did not really know how to be with me!

crazy_girlcrazy_girl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi..I'm 18 and just had my first baby...I notice a lot of people looking at me in disgust...i was going into town last weekend and the bus driver wouldn't let me put my pram on...it was A low down bus so i could of just wheeled my pram straight on..i had to put it down and a couple of stops later he let someone on with there pram which was bigger then mine...i was so upset..

Love Crazy_girl xx

miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog

crazy_girl said:
Hi..I'm 18 and just had my first baby...I notice a lot of people looking at me in disgust...i was going into town last weekend and the bus driver wouldn't let me put my pram on...it was A low down bus so i could of just wheeled my pram straight on..i had to put it down and a couple of stops later he let someone on with there pram which was bigger then mine...i was so upset..

Love Crazy_girl xx


hey am jodie and ave got a little girl age 21 months called mia ruby.

Thats disgusting I hate it when you get treated like that, there is no need!

there are alot of people round where i live who turn there nose up at you because your young! (mainly people who are getting quite old) most proberly because things were so different when they were younger!

hope you asked the bus driver why he wouldnt let you on with your pram. hope you are ok!

love jodie xxx


Fiona25Fiona25
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi Im 25 and my daughter is almost 8 months. I look a lot younger, I look about 19. I get looked up and down too by complete strangers and it really bugs me, but Ive just learnt to hold my head high because Ive got nothing to be ashamed about xo

tiggytiggy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I was 26 when i had alyssa and often gte told i lok younger most of the hospital staff were great as they knew from my files i was 26 but this one nurse thought i was incapable i ened up telling her to sod off.

she stood and argued with me one day how to pronounce my daughters name she kept say alisia i was no its alyssa pronoubnced ahllissa * or something like that lol*

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I can't believe that someone tried to tell you how to pronounce your own childs name! Shocked

TamTam
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I ws 25 when I had Nathan and I was the youngest in my ward! I really think that the narrow-minded folk of the world should give young mums a break, most of young mum re nore than capable of taking care of themselves and their babies so why cant they just leave them alone. I see the point in being upset when a child under 16 has a baby, they are still ababy themselves but why cant they just offer help rather than critasism, that would be of more use.

Most of my mates started having babies at young age (15)and they managed with the help of their parents and their kids have turned out just fine.

Young mother should be supported not looked down on!

loublouloublou
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
i was 21 when i had my first lucy,25 with my second emily and 30 with my third alice may so i have seen a whole spectum of things!!
i got lotys of disaproving looks when i had lucy and old women tutting when she was having paddys and it used to really upset me but as ive got older i dont give a damn now!!!!

im finding it harder with alicemay and in my thirties than when i had lucy and emily in my twentys and wish i hadnt lesft it so long to have alice may!!!
good luck to all mums whether old or youngxxx
love louxxxx

GazelleGazelle
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
My MIL was 15 when she fell pregnant with my BIL and 19 with my OH. She's passed away now sadly, but was a fantastic Mum and both her boys are wonderful men.

Age, whether old or young, has no bearing on your abilities to be a mother.

Be proud whatever age you are!

xxx

hipmommahipmomma
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I am a young mum, but it isnt that which attracts the disapproving looks!

Its the pink hair and piercings, tattoos etc. Well obviously that makes me a bad mother!! lol

v_preciousv_precious
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I have had a tattoo done to celebrate each of my children. LOL
I agree that whether 16 or 60 we should all be supported to be good mothers. My mum was 18 when she had her first and 40 somehing when she had her last. I feel we all have THE most important and THE most stressful job in the world and should all be there to help and support each other!! Very happy

TamTam
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

hipmomma said:
I am a young mum, but it isnt that which attracts the disapproving looks!

Its the pink hair and piercings, tattoos etc. Well obviously that makes me a bad mother!! lol


I get the exact same looks too! People can be so small minded when it comes to tattoos and piercings and it bothers me because it doesnt make me a bad person and it certainly doesnt make me a bad mother!

mmmchocolatemmmchocolate
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi like crazy chick i find it really hard to get on the buses with the pram so ive been using a baby sling as i get the bus every day, i can only imagine what i look like to other people im petite (5"2),am 23 but look about 17 an i take my two boys to school on the bus ages 5 an 4 with my 3 month old baby strapped to my chest an people just stare! old ladies tut an god forbid one of them has a tantrum because people just look at u like stupid little girl cant cope, shouldnt of had so many kids! Mad Tounge Out

CathyGCathyG
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi young mums, i'm not young (am 37) & just wanted to add my point of view to your thread. I do look at young mums & think to myself poor you. I certainly don't look down on you, but i just almost pity your situation. To have a baby young must be difficult as your friends & peers may be out partying & socialising, so your support network will be reduced. also i suspect most of you are not married or in a stable relationship with the support of the babys father so again you may be struggling on your own. When i was young having a baby was the last thing i wanted, i wanted to be out & free & without responsibilty, so i guess that could be how you also feel, but can't achieve as you have a baby to consider. I know you all do a brilliant job & care very much for your babies,but still i do feel sorry for you. hope you don't take offence with this post, i certainly don't mean any. Kiss

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