Join JustParents for free to ask for advice and make new friends! It only takes 60 seconds. Join JustParents

i feel like giving up and tired of trying

fiona27976fiona27976
posted 8 years 7 months ago
hi i need advice as i dont really have anyone to talk to Sad in august 2007 i ended a 7year relationship with my 2 youngest kids dad and by march 2008 i went into another relationship,wev been together for 14 months now and i love him to bits but i seem to be more miserable and unhappy now than i was before,before he moved in it was fantastic missed him like mad on the nights i didnt see him,but since moving in in sept 08 things have been up and down,admititdly i have had a few health probs and it hasnt helped but now thats being dealt with.ok theres things that i get annoyed about and he doesnt see a problem,he will never argue,we try and resolve it and it can be great for a week or so then were down the same old road again and i keep telling myself is it worth it im tired of trying Sad i cry because i love him so much it hurts!when he moved in he knew that he would be taking the role on as a parent,im not expecting him to be dad as such to the kids or for them to call him dad but we would be a family,if the kids are not at their dads one weekend we dont do nothing with them,not once has he suggested taking them out for the day,theres things that need doing round the house,the alleyway outside is full of stuff that needs to go to the tip he says hel do it but its still there has been for months,the grass needs cut,unless i tell im to do it he doesnt bother,i cook,clean,do washing,ironin,pick the kids up from school,do the decorating,and go to work,and i even have to do my shopping online cos he hates goin shoppin,im running ragged and wish he would take a step back and think about me taking a breather,he goes to work,thats it!he has a daughter and expects me to go with im to c her every fortnight,shes not met my kids yet cos her mum wont allow her to come up and stay but he wont do anything about it saying hes not bothered,he never thinks how i feel bout it,he can be inconsiderate and selfish,i mean he loves me loads infact he smothers with me with so much love that hes not seeing the problems around us and i cant keep goin through the same thing evry other week and just dont no what to do,its like i like going to the pub once in a while,goin out having fun wether its bowling,pub etc all he likes is fishing,he dont drink,dont like bowling,infact the only thing we both like is the cinema,he expects me to do what he wants but wont do what i wana do,he treats his daughter like a princess and play wiv her,dont do it with mine,evrything that needs buyin for the house comes out of my pocket,hes never paid for anythin apart from his housekeeping....i could go on but my heads telling me this relationship just aint workin but my heart tells me to stay in there,and im not afraid to be on my own but i do love this guy and i would do anythin to save it,i mean he doesnt even romance me,wev never bin out for a romantic meal how sad is that,please please please anyone help me out Frustrated


FoxyCymraegFoxyCymraeg
posted 8 years 7 months ago
You sound like a lovely person, he is totally taking you for granted, have you had a serious talk to him telling him the way you feel?
You shouldnt put up with being treated like this, if you are doing everything to make him happy he should be doing the same for you.
He should feel lucky that he has you and your children in his life and shouldnt take you for granted. Talk to him and let him know how sad you feel, you never know it might do the world of good.
good luck Hug

fiona27976fiona27976
posted 8 years 7 months ago
thanx i think thats y i get taken for granted cos im too nice but i try talking to him and he says what i say sticks but it dont otherwise we wouldnt be goin round in circles,sometimes i feel like im his mother not his partner,the thing is when it comes to the kids if they need to be dealt with he seems to side with them when he should be on my side,they can talk to me like dirt and he just sits there and allows it,i expect him to say dont talk to ur mum like that but he dont Sad he undermines my authority and feels like i have 5 kids not 4

FoxyCymraegFoxyCymraeg
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Put your foot down, I get what your saying nice people always seem to get treated like dirt maybe you should try giving him a taste of his own medicine and stop being so nice, you deserve respect!

fiona27976fiona27976
posted 8 years 7 months ago
sounds daft but how do i do that?i dont want him to think i dont love him anymore!goin back a few weeks ago he said he was unhappy cos im always in a bad mood,i tried explainin to him y,all he said was i always piss u off and i sed u wouldnt if u tryed a bit harder....then it just falls on deaf ears,he asked if we could go fishing this weekend and i sed no its still not warm enuf for me but really i dont want to go i sed il fink bout it but u no wat im just gona tell im i dont want to go its boring and id rather go shopping Clapping

flaminjoflaminjo
posted 8 years 6 months ago
I am sorry to say this but i think you are just too scared of losing him.Since you are scared you are always putting your point across to him rather meekly.It will always be same old story.
I will suggest you think long term,do you want this guy to have his way always?how your kids are going to be affected by a father who doesnt care for them?Think about your kids and your future.Have a final discussion with him,tell him about every grievance that you have and give him time to resolve it.If things remain the same its time to call it quits.Its your choice you want to suffer or live happily.
Please do not mind my harsh words.

fiona27976fiona27976
posted 8 years 6 months ago
of course i dont want to lose him thats y i wanted advice,my last relationship was if i tried talkin about problems that needed talkin bout id just get... im starting an arguement so can u blame me for feelin like this!and yeah ur words are very harsh which i dont appreciate!

LihraLihra
posted 8 years 6 months ago
hey hun im sorry for whats going on and hope this helps..

Maybe you could try writing a letter telling him how you feel, you will find that he isnt able to interupte. so it may help..

In the end it is your discion and i hope it gets resolved soon...

lawlietlawliet
posted 8 years 1 month ago
Be brave I know you can.

Join JustParents for free to reply

Search forums

Latest Reviews