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Eldest (12 year old) testing my boundaries...

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
DS has been staying over his Nan's on a tues night since he started his new comprehensive school in January which I am usually fine with as until now there have been no 'unauthorised absences'. Got a phone call from James last night at about 9.30, he had taken the wrong PE kit over with him and asked if I could take the kit that he'd left at home into school this morning, to which I agreed. Then he came out with "Could I have tomorrow off as Nan is taking my watch to be fixed" to which my reply was "No way!"- I had been a bit naughty the other week (friday they broke up from school for easter hols) and had arranged with the school for him to have that day off as he was 'going on holiday earlier as travel plans had had to be changed', normally I wouldn't do this but his sister was off the same day for teacher training (his school had theirs the week before which didn't make sense but what the hey!) and this particular friday was his birthday and the pair of them would be away over the whole of easter hols so I wouldn't have had any time with them before they went. Anyway, I think that he thought that if I would agree to that I wouldn't mind him pulling this stunt this morning! James knew at the start of the week that I wasn't happy to drive too far from home this week (Gem's school is literally around the corner whereas James' school is a 10-15 minute drive away) what with baby being due any day, which annoyed me even more that he had planned to not even bother going to catch the bus from his Nan's... she had rang me 15 minutes after school started (after I had gone over there with his kit) to say that he had 'missed the bus' and she would have to take him with her!! I don't believe this cr Angry p for a second and am very annoyed at them both, particularly James as he just didn't seem to care. Teeth

I then had to ring the school and say that he'd been ill when he'd been over his Nan's... making excuses for him to go off and do as he pleased! Tounge Out

Will be having very stern words with him over this when he gets home- I feel like an idiot for agreeing to let him have his birthday off, this is the flippin' thanks I get! Mad

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Why make excuses for him, if he is skiving tell the school.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
I think Samuel has a point. If he tries it again just tell him that you will phone school and tell them he is fine, just refusing to go to school, that might be enough to show him that you won't stand for it again.

Also maybe tell him he's not allowed to stay over at nans for a few weeks.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
It shouldn't be so frequent. Next time say you're telling school about that.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Am all over the place today Sad Face

James rang me yesterday evening to say that he couldn't get hold of his dad to bring him over which annoyed me even more. I sent a t ext to his dad saying that if they couldn't get him to school or back over here when he was due back then he wouldn't be staying there during the week as a result. Had no reply.

This morning James rang me at 7.45 to say that he, his nan and his 2 cousins that live with their nan had all come down with a tummy bug. After fuming over this new revelation, when I eventually calmed down I texted his dad again and said that it would be best if both James and Gemma stay with me this weekend so as to avoid them being subjected to the bug and thus passing it on to me as the baby is due tomorrow and I will be going in for a c-section next thursday if I haven't gone into labour in the meantime. James somehow got the wrong end of the stick and thought that I was going to stop him coming over on the weekends as well as the tuesday, he rang me at 1.30pm saying that if he couldn't stay over on the weekends he wanted to move in with his dad. By this point I felt like I could end up in hospital if this went on much more, with my blood pressure being the way it is despite taking tablets to stabilise it I can still develop pre-eclampsia.

I went up to his nan's and put them straight on what I had said and confronted James on why it was that he had decided that he didn't want to live with us anymore. His dad has regular weekly access to him and his sister, I have never stopped either of them. Turns out that James doesn't like his school any more and wants to move back to the one that he was in last september. He couldn't give any other reason. What annoys me is that he is very much a loved and cared for child, never been neglected unlike his cousins- their mother doesn't even bother with them and was actually going to put them into care if their nan didn't have them. She knows I am not like their mother in any way, shape or form- I know that he's at that age where he thinks he knows it all and I can kind of see how this has come about given that the last few years have been quite a challenge to him at home as well as school, it just hurts that he felt this was the best option for him. I personally don't think this will be a long-term thing and that the novelty will soon wear off, but I have to respect his decision and let him find out for himself.

Feels so weird that as we welcome our new baby, my 1st baby will be preparing to move out. Can't believe I'm actually typing this, as I read it I'm thinking "Why?" Teeth

I have told him that I want him over with us every weekend as a condition of me agreeing to this and also that he should be with us next week so he's here when his new brother or sister arrives. Already I wonder how the hell I'm going to get through this.

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