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Fed up and frustrated

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Sorry just got to have a rant after a night out. Two years a singleton since separating from the ex. After she left me it has taken a long time for me even to get my head into a place where I would consider dating somebody else. I trusted her implicitly and loved her unconditionally. Since then I have spent most of my time at home alone. I don't really have any friends anywhere so didn't have anybody to go out with.
Since moving to Cardiff, where I have a couple of friends, I feel like a burden on them. They all have other friends as they have been living here for a while so I can see that I am just one of many, which makes it hard for me as I feel like a pain in the arse every time I ask them about going out.
To combat this I try going out by myself like tonight! Normally it results in me having a few beers and then going home fed up, wondering why I bothered. Tonight I managed to talk to a few women and even bought them a drink. My problem is I'm not very confident in these situations and not much of a conversationalist. Anyway one trip to the loo later and they chatting up some albanians leaving me high and dry, and off to a club with them. Just leaves me wondering why I bother trying??? Now feel lower than when I went out in the first place.
Sorry just had to rant, p****d off at myself more than anything else.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Have nothing to say, but I am going through the same sort of feelings at the moment too Embarassed

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Do you chat to anyone at your gym? I'm not you should jump in and scare them off but maybe if you started of with "Hi" to a few of the approachable looking blokes there, then gradually over time could find a new friend or two to go out with for a drink after the gym session or something. As your friendships build you will be able to go out with them and then if you meet some nice ladies you wont be on your own-there's safety in numbers lol!!

Or are there any other things you are interested in so that you could join a group? Perhaps an evening/ adult education class or hobby; and build a bigger social network? You don't just want to dive in and get in people's faces but you have to start somewhere. I hope this helps.

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Can;t say anything Owen because I am feeling the same Sad Face Kel has given some good advice (and similar advice that you have given me in the past) Kiss

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
aw Owen you are so cute, who wouldnt want you? Just shows you are too good for them and if they want albanians leave them too it, your Miss right will come along, just when you are not expecting it! Love

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Thanks guys!

The gym is a solitary place, either there are guys working out in a group already and don't seem approachable, or more often people are focussed and working out by themselves and you don't want to interrupt. That's why I've joined a couple of the classes their kick boxing, body pump (weights to music) and recently started going to spin classes.
When you do an evening class I don't think you can really afford to miss much, and with the way work is I am all over the shop and would regularly miss classes. I have one old hobby which I am considering starting up which would get me involved with other people which is sailing. But at the moment life still has a lot of different things going on which I am trying to juggle so don't want to add another thing to the pile. Especially since sailing basically took over my life before. I need to finish getting fit to the level that I want to be at, otherwise that will suffer as well.
Cute, well I haven't been called that in a very long while.
I just need a few groups of mates so that I can rotate them for going out, so as not to blast one group all the time which is what I feel I do at the moment.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Firstly, I bet that your friends don't think you're being a burden!

Secondly, you do sound shy, which is fair enough, I'm painfully shy sometimes. Try to be a bit more confidant (easier said than done, I know, I worry far too much about what other people must think). I think Kel came up with some good suggestions Smile Smile and say Hi. I'm sure you'll get chatting to someone worth while, the ladies you met the other night just sounded up for a free night out to me, so no loss.

posted 1 decade 5 years ago
Owen, these girls are missing out on what there is behind all that shyness… you just haven’t met a girl who is good enough for you yet… you will.... She’s out there… I know, cliché advise but it’s true! Kiss

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