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Yeah, thanks for that!!

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 4 months ago
One of the mums at school,who has 3 children, who I rarely talk to because I hardly know her has come up to me this morning and said "I didn't know you were having another one". Then went on to say, "You should have spoken to me first,I'd have put you off!" and continued to tell me how hard it is and give me reasons she would have told me to NOT have 3!! I just stood there wondering if I should be laughing at her or taking offence at her telling me all these 'horror stories'. I then pointed out to her that the age gaps are different for me. Her youngest 2 have only 16 months between them and then her oldest is a couple of years older so there's only about 3 and a half 4 years between the oldest and youngest. Whereas there'll be roughly 3 years between each of mine and 6 years between oldest and youngest as baby is due on Summer's 6th birthday, and I told her that I was expecting Summer to be pretty well behaved because she is now!

Why do people do that? I hardly know the woman, why does she think I need her opinion? especially when what she was saying was so negative rather than supportive. She did not say congrats or well done or anything like that. She did not ask anything about baby such as due date, sex, how I'm feeling or anything, just wanted to tell me how awful and hard having 3 is. I would never go up to an expectant first time mum and say "Oh it's really hard, exhausting, affects your relationship and your whole life FOREVER" even though those things are all true. I'd be saying "Well done, it will be so exciting, I hope it all goes well" and generally be pleased for them.


kristagkristag
posted 9 years 4 months ago
She sounds like a bit of a weirdo. I think if you hardly knew her I'd be inclined to say "I'm sorry but I'm not really interested." and walk away from her. She'd probably think you rude but how rude of her to just do that to you.

Why is it when you're pregnant you become everyone's property and talking point? If you were obese, people wouldn't just walk up to you and start telling you horror stories of obese people and that you're making a mistake would they!

Sounds like she's having a hard time with her children and is hoping you'll be the same. Perhaps she's having relationship issues and wants to be not the only one struggling with her kids. Who knows what goes through these people's heads hun.

Keep you chin up and avoid her like the plague or, if she comes up to you again, tell her nicely you're really not interested in any more of her opinions and you find her rude. That should make her go away!

Hug

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 4 months ago
Maybe you're right, she could be having a hard time herself and as you say wanting to bring others down too.

If it were one of my friends it wouldn't be so bad because it would maybe have been said in a jokey way but from her it sounded so blunt and invasive. Cow bag!!

WolfblassWolfblass
posted 9 years 4 months ago
Just because she found it difficult, couldn;t adjust or cope is NOT your problem!

As you say Summer is far older than the baby will be and i just think some people she keep their bloody noses out! Razz

WelshMumWelshMum
posted 9 years 4 months ago
Since I started my halved work hours and dropping off/picking Gem up from school, and then when I started my leave, I see an old school friend every day as her son (she has just the 1 child, but she knows this is my 3rd)is in year above Gem. The 1st thing she says to me everyday is "Fed up?"... yeah fed up of you reminding me that I am! I haven't been particularly big this time, with Gem I was and it was made worse by the heatwave that was going on for the last 2 months of the pregnancy, but I am still struggling to walk far... wouldn't be so bad if she just said "nevermind, not long now" as that's a bit more encouraging but even that shouldn't be repeated daily just to make conversation!

ElementaryElementary
posted 9 years 4 months ago

kristag said:
She sounds like a bit of a weirdo. I think if you hardly knew her I'd be inclined to say "I'm sorry but I'm not really interested." and walk away from her. She'd probably think you rude but how rude of her to just do that to you.

Why is it when you're pregnant you become everyone's property and talking point? If you were obese, people wouldn't just walk up to you and start telling you horror stories of obese people and that you're making a mistake would they!

Sounds like she's having a hard time with her children and is hoping you'll be the same. Perhaps she's having relationship issues and wants to be not the only one struggling with her kids. Who knows what goes through these people's heads hun.

Keep you chin up and avoid her like the plague or, if she comes up to you again, tell her nicely you're really not interested in any more of her opinions and you find her rude. That should make her go away!

Hug

I agree
and this would be one of the many reasons I hate the 'school' Mums - most days I just wanna get in and out! I am quite happy running my own life, I don't need to know about other people's issues especially when I don't really know them!

samtiffsamtiff
posted 9 years 4 months ago
Grrrr I hate that.

Tell her next time you are hoping to carry on until you are in double figures.....................

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 4 months ago

samtiff said:
Grrrr I hate that.

Tell her next time you are hoping to carry on until you are in double figures.....................


LMAO! Yes, great idea. Tell her you're aiming for a football team - both sides! Crazy

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 4 months ago
Very odd Confused

Maybe she just wanted to off load, get out how hard she personally finds it. Or maybe she is just weird.

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 4 months ago

samtiff said:
Grrrr I hate that.

Tell her next time you are hoping to carry on until you are in double figures.....................

Funnily enough I did actually think afterwards that I should have tole her I was planning on having another one after this. I don't think I will but hey she doesn't know that. Never mind, I wont be letting her off-load on me again!!

SamuelSamuel
posted 9 years 4 months ago
You have one and plan a second/expecting this obviously means you just want a play mate for your first. Then you have two and number three is on the way, this was either to have at least one of each gender, or a mistake. When you have three and number four is on the way, you clearly don't have modern appliances, such as the television. When you tell people that yes, you will be going on to have number five, normally their massive nose has finally given in and just shuts up.

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 4 months ago
My sister has 3 children under two and she also gets so many negative comments like "WOW were they all planned??".She cant even go shopping without someone making a comment about her "very young family".My sister isnt afraid to answer back and finds most comments made rude. The questions asked about her age and financial situation she really gets anoyed about (i dont blame her)she looks younger than she is (she is 29 this year)her and her husband have good job's own there own home and buisnesses but yet always get the comment of "welfare pays heaps of money for three kids are you having anymore??"(they are not entitled to any benefits) like yeah thats why we have children right"???MORONS Bad!
I agree with everyone some people are so unhappy or unsettled with there own lives or children so they want to drag others down to!!!!
I say if you want 10 kids and can handle 10 kids then go for it!!! Thumbs Up

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 4 months ago
I know it will be hard work but I am really excited about another baby and my lovely big family. I never had much of a family network growing up and I was always very alone. I feel blessed that I can now bring my beautiful babies into the world and really hope they will be close when they grow up to each other and us their parents. I think if I weren't being stressed by the kids I'd be stressing about something else anyway and probably not be as happy as I wouldn't have all this love.

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