Our little update..

BLOODY MW'S MISSED ME OFF THE LIST AND WE HAD TO CALL THE HOSPITAL AT 6PM TO FIND OUT WHERE THEY WERE!!?? , JUST ANOTHER LITTLE PROBLEM TO ADD TO THINGS THAT UPSET ME DURING LABOUR / WITH HOSPITAL. Finally two arrived at 6.30 pm last night, but were more intersted in chatting about the house, didn't give me or baby a proper check over, so they had to call me this morning to arrange a check tomorrow.

I asked for help with breast feeding as nipples are unbearably sore, cracked and bleeding and i am really struggling to manage feeds. Gabriel is content, has wet and dirty nappies but even though they said last night he was latching on i didn't think he was.

Well Gabriel had a breastfeed last night for 45 mins at 8pm, he slept more or less through the night with two or three waking periods (gurgling etc) and a couple of nappy changes until i finally woke him for a change and breastfeed at 07.30. He was totally disinterested and just kept falling back to sleep.

MW rang at 09.30 to book a time to see us tomorrow as part of follow up and i mentioned his lack of feeding and sleepiness to her. She recommended skin to skin and to try and get him to feed again. Which i did to no avail (he just cuddled up and went to sleep) - so on her advice i phoned the hospital so they could arange her to visit about lunchtime. Hospital told us to get him there within the hour as they had no-one who could come out.

Just as i changed him he grabbed at the breast and took a feed, so we called them back and i'm awaiting a visit as now they have found me a slot and feel he looks slightly jaundiced. He's had another feed an hour ago for 30 mins, but i cannot bear to offer him the other breast as i cry in pain when he is feeding.

I've already decided that i'm going to change to formula

I really do think it's best for me, the MW last night gave me lanolin and showed me how to manually express but i'm in so much pain doing even that.

I feel such a failure and have spent much of today in tears. i really wanted to breastfeed succesfully this time - but i cannot put up with the pain. The 'support' i was promised is not there, both MW's last night were not terribly helpful, the hospital were more interested in discharging me early than ensuring i was confident with breastfeeding - oh and the area bfeeding support counsellor is 'too busy' to vist me anytime soon

Am i a bad mummy giving in so early? I'm worried that Gabriel has jaundice as he is very sleepy and not taking feeds like he did in the first two days!!

Sorry to have to whinge and moan on here guys - (already lol)

Other than that he is more than perfect and none of us can stop looking at him / cuddling him, As i say he seems very very happy and content, h'es just blummin gorgeous! I need to find the lead for the camera and i can upload some piccies!

You could alternate between allowing him to latch and using nipple shields, when my sister had her daughter for the first couple of weeks she was cracked and you could see pink milk running as she bled a bit. You could put Gabriel in the window/take him out, sometimes it is enough and prevents the need of a jaundice blanket. When they are latching on when they feed it sounds wet and slurpy, if they aren't latched properly it sounds dry and breathy when they gulp. The ladies on here can probably suggest a good nipple cream.

Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time of things, i think you need to do what you feel is best for yourself and baby. If it hurts to much to breastfeed and your worried about his feeding, then change to formula if it what you will feel more confident with. Your body is recoperating and the emotional side to the lack of support you are getting can't be helping.
Hope your feeling ok again soon and manage to get things sorted with midwifes and breast feeding etc, and you manage to find the lead so we can all see your bundle of joy.

Thanks guys!

MW has visited and said that Gabriel is latching on pefectly but can clearly see the pain in my face and eyes. She says it is due to the nipple being pressed against the hard pallet of babies mouth. They are also bleeding and i have now fed him three times since this morning - however they are unbearably sore.

The nipple cream they've given me is very good, but as soon as it's back in his mouth it really is agonising. Mark has been out and bought some formula so we are going to make up some bottles, MW advised against nipple shields?? Didn't really think to go into too much depth at the time and ask why. Told me just to perservere. It seems Gabriel has become a very hungry young man after last night - lol!

I'm feeling a bit better about making the decision to formula feed, i really do not want to get into the baby blues with this aswell - i've got to the stage already of dreading him wanting to feed as i know how much it'll hurt again once it has just worn off - and i don't want to feel like that at all.

I'm afraid i've given up too easily and taken the wimpy route out - but i really want to enjoy my baby and involve Georgia-mae with his feeds too.

As for the Jaundice the MW was not overly concerned, said he is slightly yellow but nothing to worry abotu and an MW will phone tomorrow to see how things are progressing.

xx

Hun I totally sympathise

George's breast feeding was a total failure! I was lucky enough to b able to hand express (I wish I could have used a pump but OUCH OUCH OUCH!!) but I had only enough time to express enough for half his feeds so I made the other half up in formula, within 3 weeks I had to stop expressing before I went insane

As I was transfered to hospital after George was born at home, they tries to keep us in until they had seen enough successful feeds, George was a fractious little thing, didn't like his head held and would unlatch screaming to which non of the mw's could tell me why he did that I must have had every mw in that hospital try to help me, I wanted to go home though, I'd planned a homebirth and to be at home, no hospitals and to be able to see Charlotte. I told them I was switching to formula and wanted to go home. The senior mw said she would prefer me to stay in until the breast feeding was established, which now i see why, there was no help from them once I was home, I was told to visit a breast feeding 'cafe' which had other breast feeding mums who could help me. Unfortunately I had the blues and wanted to shut myself away already feeling like a total failure and I had an irrational fear that George was going to die!! (Don't ask me why lol, I think it might be because of what happened when he was being born).

Please don't make yourself feel that you have failed, because you've NOT!!!! If you have to go onto the formula then so what, you are feeding him something and that is the main thing.

I hope you begin to feel better hun, don't let it get you down we are all here when you need to vent xxxx

Chin up hunny. The beginning is such a whirlwind but I'm sure you are doing what's best for all of you.
Glad your little man is here safely, well done xx

Thanks all, we've switched over and he has taken 50mls of formula and is now sleeping very contentedly!

I'm now feeling much better in myself too, as i'm not worrying constantly about his next feed and which nipple will cope!

HE IS JUST BLUMMIN EDIBLE THOUGH XXX

Aww hun, Sorry to hear you have had so little support from your midwife team. It was exactly the same here too. I was also missed off the list the 1st day and even when they found he had a 'dusting' (whatever that means?) of GBS on his skin they just rang and told me and said does he seem ok? When i said yes they said they would pop out for another visit in the next couple of days then. I sat up and watched him for ages after that afraid to sleep. I think you have done exactly the right thing for you. Even though Breastfeeding is nutritionally better for baby it isn't necessarily better all round as if mother is stressed and upset it isn't going to do either of you any good. Gabriel will pick up on this and may not latch properly which would make things worse and with you being do upset it may even affect your milk supply which also could become a problem. So in my opinion having a happy and contended mother and baby is much more important and if that means formula feeding then so be it!! Well done with everything hun and congratulations I can't wait to see some piccies of your beautiful bundle Xx

Sorry to hear you have had a rough time with breastfeeding- I had planned to with James but what with the totally unexpected c-section (which had already given my confidence a major blow) when James wouldn't feed happily from me I was yelling at the MW "Just give him a bottle!!!" as I really couldn't see it working out. I was ok with Gem, but she was jaundiced for the 1st week (as I was in 4 days after the c-section, I was luckily able to get more support with breastfeeding but was constantly worrying that she wasn't getting enough as they were telling me to feed her as often as possible to help clear the jaundice which didn't really go until she was over a week old!

Doesn't matter how you feed Gabriel, he's contented and so are you now that you aren't in pain as a result.

Can't wait to see pics of your little guy!

Lou x

well done hen

glad you and baby are doing ok despite the problems that your having like....



hello little one

Dont worry hun you are not a bad mum at all. i had the same problem and had to switch to formula ealy on. i cant believe your support network was so rubbish, after all thats what their job is supposed to be. glad you and babby are okay