Am I "smothering" my babygirl???

kelsey is 13 months old and always a mommy's girl. she and i have always had a very tight special bond quite different from her daddy and her. maybe because she too was born early at 32wks and was so tiny and fought and being her mommy felt so responsible and now i have been just so close to her worried about anything and everything. and now that our babyboy Jake born too soon at 24wks 4dys and fought for 2 days and passed on, i feel like a failing mommy in so many ways and my worry for Kelsey has doubled, tripled, quadrupled.... to the point in the last week since Jake passed i need to hold her all the time i need to have her in bed with us or she sleeps on my tummy and chest on the sofa. i just feel like i am smothering her i guess and i dont know if this is "normal" after everything. am i nuts crazy or just a grieving mommy?
Lace

i dont see nothing wrong in giving kelsey lots of hugs

if im sitting down my 4 year old still omes and sits on my lap where i used to hold him alot

kelsey is still a baby really and needs her mum to reassure her as she makes big development steps - plus she probably knows that something is wrong, it cant be easy for her either

she probably needs the extra reassurence right now

i would say not to let her fall asleep on you though when she drop s off lay her down in bed

as for the co-sleeping its lovely isn't it?

but i would say to make sure you do it safely by following these rules

Safely sharing a bed with your child – what to avoid

Parents sharing a bed with a baby under the age of six months is no more dangerous than putting them in their own cot, provided:

– Parents don't smoke

– Parents don't drink

– Parents don't take drugs

– Bedding doesn't include adult pillows

– Bedding is not heavy

– Mattress is not soft

– Parents are not "excessively tired" – defined as having had less than four hours sleep the night before

taken from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/35...search-shows.html

I would never do the bed sharing thing, purely because my parents followed all the rules above and more when they shared a bed once with my little sister and that caused her not to be with us today, she was 14 months when that happened.

Jamie is like that with the closeness Pippa and Mikey aren't, Jamie is a bit like a monkey clinging to your side all the time. Just as naughty too.

I think it's the most natural thing for you to be giving her lots of love now and I'm sure it is reasurring for her after all that has happened. She's still very young and they love cuddles don't they. You're doing great.

I think what you've described to me sounds perfectly normal (I know I would do the same in your situation).

I say during this most difficult time for your family do whatever brings you all comfort and makes you feel even a little bit better or more 'in control'. I think that far out weighs any potential problems that may or may not happen later on.

I think you are doing a fab job hun and are not nuts or crazy at all. You are following your instincts and at the moment those instincts are telling you to protect your LO. As the others have said, she probably needs some extra comfort right now anyway as everything is strange for her and i am sure she will pick up on some of it. Hug her as much as you need hun, she will let you know when she has had enough. If she wants to get down let her, else keep doing what you are doing hun and follow your instincts! Xx

mum2popsnjak said:
I think you are doing a fab job hun and are not nuts or crazy at all. You are following your instincts and at the moment those instincts are telling you to protect your LO. As the others have said, she probably needs some extra comfort right now anyway as everything is strange for her and i am sure she will pick up on some of it. Hug her as much as you need hun, she will let you know when she has had enough. If she wants to get down let her, else keep doing what you are doing hun and follow your instincts! Xx

well said, I agree


Hugs for you guys

i couldnt imagine what you are going through, but in any case, there is no such thing as "too many cuddles!!" my DD however is not the cuddling type. she is more than happy to hug the cat or the dogs or her dollies, but when it comes to bedtime, she wont sleep in our bed (she likes to spread out. she hasnt had a cot since she was a year old, because she would not sleep. she had to have a big girls bed!)
she will kiss or cuddle someone if you ask her to, but other than that she will just play all day long by herself. if she is tired she will go jump in her bed without a word.

im afraid that we havent bonded enough, but it does solve the mummy's girl problem. if i want to go somewhere, she's more than happy to say bye and wave.

i dont believe that you are smothering your daughter. you are just being a mother. all kids need cuddles, and the mummies definately do too!!