Newbie with a problem

Hiya, I'm new here but I have something I'm looking for some advice.

I have a beautiful and intellegent 4 year old girl and she's been toilet trained for about a year now. However recently, I'd say the past 3 weeks or so, she has began having accidents again. Now it's become so frequent that she has at least 2 accidents a day.

I've tried everything I can think of, the firm but fair approach, the praise approach, the sticker/treat approach... Nothing has worked!

Now It's gotten so bad I've been trying to think of things that may of caused it. She gets plenty of love and attention from me so it's not that, she doesn't have any kind of urinary infection, and the only thing I can think of is stress. She was used to seeing her dad 2 days a week every week and recently he has been promoted in his job, and with more time at work and wanting to spend time with his new family he has been recently seeing her more like 2 days every 2 or 3 weeks. Does that sound like the type of thing that could cause stress accidents? Cause apart from the accidents she hasn't mentioned any upset at not seeing him quite so often, but I can't thinkof anything else, unless she's just fussy and doesn't like the cold weather, lol.

Any advice or thoughts or idea's on how to get her to stop wetting and poo-ing herself would be VERY much appreciated!

Please help me.... My house is starting to smell no matter how much I clean, lol!

Hi there Jeanette, i am mandy, mum to Lauren 3 in Jan and Jake 10mths i hope you enjoy it here at JP, there are a great bunch of people using the site

It could be a number of things causing her toileting issues hun. Stress could be a factor? Children quite often go through a faze of regression though and it could equally just be this. If she has an 'accident' she gets alot of attention from you. It may be negative? It may be positive? (ie, promises of stickers in the future) either way it is attention. I'm not saying you don't already give her a lot of attention but thos way it is her that calls the shots, if she feels like some attention she wets/soils herself and ouila instant attention! I would try and make as little fuss as possible, clear it up without saying anything and then tell her wee wee's and poo poo are for on the toilet aren't they, never mind, we will do that next time won't we. Leave it at that and eventually she will realise there isn't a reaction and will stop it? Thats the idea anyway lol.

try not to worry to much yet though hun. If he hasn't mentioned about her dad that may have nothing to do with anything. It is quite a common problemfrom what i have heard? I had trouble training Lolly so i know how hard it is to stay calm but i am sure she will get back on track soon hun Xx

Thank you, I've already been having a quick look around but as a newbie I've not actually posted yet.

Thank you for the advice, I've tried the not giving attention approach, infact I think that was the first one I tried. But I'm going to try it again and stick to it as long as I can. It just upsets me that she was so good at going to the toilet and now she's suddenly back to square one for apparently no reason. I guess I'm just going to have to keep at it and hope it stops soon cause really she's too old to be having so many accidents.

Forgive me but i don't think i actually saw how old your DD is. Have you actually tried asking her why she is doing it calmly? You never know she may be able to tell you? Or sit her down at a stress free moment when you aren't rushing (in short supply i'm sure!) and ask her if anything is upsetting her at the moment? Obviously it depends how old she is, whether this would be suitable or not? Xx

I've tried asking her why she wets herself and she just looks away and says "I don't know" and I can't get much else out of her. But I will deffinatly try asking her if there is anything upsetting her as I haven't tried that one yet and if I do it before calming down time tonight before bed I may be able to get something out of her.

Thank you for that, was something I haven't thought of before and it might give me a better idea of why she's doing it.