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Need some advice - Letting your child pick up baby or not?

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I need some advice folks. Jas is desperate to be able to pick Sophie up. I'm not sure why really as she has cuddles sitting down with her but I think it's a kind of 'right of passage' for her as she sees adults trusted with doing that very thing.

Jas is 10 and Sophie just over 5 weeks for those of you who don't know (actually now I've just written that I remember it's on my ticker - DOH!).

Anyway, Jas is very sensible and very careful around Sophie. I'm just unsure about it. I have suggested that she can pick her up when she's a little older and can support her own head but that seemed to upset Jas a bit. She loves her little sister to bits but I'm not sure how to handle this and could use some advice.

I thought about letting her have her hands under mine to start with to see HOW I pick Sophie up and then the opposite, ie. me having my hands under Jasmines. Also, to have Jas sit on the floor and we do the latter picking Sophie up from the floor also.

I don't want to alienate Jas from Sophie by giving a firm no to this as she's even borrowed her grandma's lifelike doll to 'practice' picking up a baby!!

Am I being too paranoid about letting Jas pick up Sophie with my help?


hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I think you are darlin, but it's totally understandable.... I'm not in your shoes so I would probably be the same way.... from an 'outsider's' perspective and hearing what you say about Jas, I think she would be most careful and responsible. Allow her to pick her up with you right there, after you've properly shown her how and just let her know she can never pick her up with out an adult present. Explain to her that babies can become wriggly and any given moment and wriggle right out of her arms if not really careful. My friend Kristen's daughter was the same age as Jas (maybe a year younger) when she had her baby and Celia (the big sister) did just fine with picking her up (Kristen was nervous initially too).

Let us know how it all goes over babe!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
No hun your not being paranoid. Smile

I think maybe you can show her, and see how it goes? She can obviously hold her while sat etc, but maybe just have her hold her but not to move her IYSWIM??

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Jas is aware that she wiggles as she'd asked to be able to walk around with Sophie in her arms "like the adults do" but I said no to that for sure. Sophie has a habit of wiggling like a bag of snakes and arching her back which could cause little arms a problem!

I think with me showing her and, as Tammy said, ensuring she understands she is NEVER to pick her up on her own (she's pretty understanding and doesn't break rules in general) that maybe she could do it.

Mike's worried about it too as even he didn't want to pick Sophie up for a few days and I had to pass her to him Embarassed

I think sometimes I also forget how grown up Jas is as she's been my 'baby' up until Sophie has come along and now I see how responsible she is becoming.

Still nervous about it though and it may take a while to do. I did also point out that I wouldn't let EVERY adult pick Sophie up as some just have never handled a baby and I think she got that too.

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I think i would be the same too hun, you feel they are so precious at that age Yes . But i agree with tammy. Show her how and tell her she can only ever pick her up with an adult present. Explain like tammy says about wriggling etc. Tbh i think she maybe more desperate because she hasn't been allowed so far. Once she has done it a few times you may find the novelty wears off and she won't be bugging you to do it all the time anyway. Xx

SamuelSamuel
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Mikey and Jamie were both allowed to pick Pippa from when she came home with us at 6 weeks old, as long as you're there to make sure they are doing it ok, then its fine.

soupsoup
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
i think that at 10 shes old enough to be trusted if you explain what to do and what to be careful with

you may even find it incredibly helpful if she holds her and settles her whilst you do something else like cook etc

ElinElin
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I dont think it will be any problem for her to pick her up if you are in the room.

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
this is more from as a child than as a parent, there is 7 years between me and my brother (me being the older) i cant remember if my parents used to let me pick my brother up and walk around with him as he was a 10lb4 baby when born but i know as he got older i was allowed to change wet nappies etc

i think what the others have said sounds good and fair she is 3 years older than what i was with my brother so i really think she would understand if you sat down with her and explained to her why you have concerns and show her how to handle a young baby say that she can only pick her up and sit down with her until she can suport her own head better teach her how to change wet nappies, i used to love changing my brothers nappy when i was a child made me feel really grown up and like i was helping mum i even used to give him his bottle and try and wind him when he was slightly older (i cant remember if you are breast or bottle feeding)

maybe slowly allowing her to do things like that will make her feel shes helping mum out and that shes trusted and has more responbsibilities and grown up.

i hate to say it but there are kids out there not much older than jas having babies of their own (dont mean to scare you with the idea of that)

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago

ellee1984 said:
i hate to say it but there are kids out there not much older than jas having babies of their own (dont mean to scare you with the idea of that)


Oh god, you are right but isn't that a scary thought!! Shocked

I have told Jas it's best to wait until she's at least 30 before having children Whistling

glowingsunglowingsun
posted 9 years 1 week ago
Jas is 10. She is strong enough lift a babies head and has hand eye coordination. I understand your fears. But think of it this way. Jas will be old enough to babysit in the 2 years, wouldn't this be a good time to teach her how to handle babies at their most vulnerable time? She could add these new child care skills to her experience for babysitting interviews. Of course Jas is not a full time babysitter and not the mom which you fully understand, of course. just saying because some parents tend to hand all the parenting down to the oldest sibling. Big nono.
Anyways, you can have your daughter help with diaper changing and other minor baby things. The bottom line, it's good for practice and learning compassion for younger children.

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