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Im feeling a bit confused???

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 6 months ago
For the past year my SIL (on my DH side of the family)has been acting very bitchy and catty.Im a pretty non-confrontational person so when she says or does something i just ignore it and move on (she tells people she thinks im thick as i dont cotton on to her remarks "which i do"i just choose not to respond).
On Sunday it was my nephews birthday and she called me a few days earlier to say they were having a get together she told me it starts at 2pm untill 4pm.
Well i get there at 2pm and as we were getting out of the car they were singing happy birthday and serving cake etc.As soon as the cake was eaten everyone went home i was there for not even 40 mins (it takes 45 minutes to get to there place)i then asked my bro in law what time the party started and he said 12:30-1pm untill 3pm Monkey
He then told me they thought i was not going to show up.I told him his wife told me to be there at 2pm and he told me i must have misunderstood???My DH cousin was also there and i overheard them talking about my DH birthday (which was on monday)and she was saying that there is no way in hell she is buying him a gift etc,etc and that she thinks our marriage is a big sham and we are only together for the kids Upset .She was being very cold and rude to me but as soon as everyone left she was trying to be nice (so i just whimpered a little goodbye and left).
I feel like this is all school yard crap and as she is in her 40's i thought she would have the decency to approach me if she had a problem.The worst part was hearing her make a nasty comment about my sons smile she said he has a big mouth and a cheesy grin and his mouth looks to big for his face Upset Its one thing to pick on me for no reason but she is messing with the wrong person if she starts on my kids Bad!
I dont know if i should confront her? or once again let it go as i always do and let her believe im nieve and thick!!!
I just dont understand what her problem is?? Im trying really hard not to let her negativity into my life but its hard when its family.
(sorry just had to let it out.) Embarassed


ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 6 months ago
is your hubby aware of the situation? maybe you could talk to him and tell him how your feeling and together you can confront these individuals in an adult way (assuming that is they can be adults) and try and come to solution as to why some members of the family are treating you like this.

sorry i not been much more help i hope you can find a solution to the situation Hug 's for you

soupsoup
posted 9 years 6 months ago
i would cut her out of my life untill she is prepared to act like an adult

she doesn't have to like you but you two are related and she does have to be polite to you on the occasions you are together

my SIL doesn't like me - i have no idea why Shrug but we are both very polite to each other and attempt conversations about the kids even though its abit awkward

tell her that was the final straw, that you are fed up of being the adult and ignoring her bitchy comments in the hope that she will eventually grow up. tell her that when shes grown up abit and can manage to be in the same room without the snide comments and telling other family members what she thinks of your marriage then you two can start fresh

any ideas where she got all this stuff from ? does your hubby talk to his family about the arguments you have ?

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 6 months ago
Oh my god I would have got right up in her face if I'd over heard all the comments about my marriage and children etc. Say it!! What's the worst that could happen seriously? If she's such a cow anyway then falling out with her would be no big deal would it? Some people like her when confronted actually turn into blithering idiots and get upset and apologise in which case you'll have the upper hand anyway.
Sorry she's such a cow to you.

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 6 months ago
Oh my god, how awful for you hun Mad , you are right when you said it is the antics of children in a playground? Sounds to me like she is jealous of you, your relationship with your DF and your beautiful children! I would feel sorry for her, She sounds as though she is projecting her own self-doubt and insecurities on to you hun. Maybe she is afraid her DF is only with her because of the kids? I would make your DF aware of what has been said (if you haven't already?) and i would also let her know that you heard her little comments and that although it is none of her business she couldn't be further from the truth. I would then just leave the ball in her court. If you see her at family gatherings then i would just show a united front with your hubby and let her see how happy you are. This will annoy her much more than having a row, where she can say - see, i was right about her! I'm really sorry you are having these probs hun. There are some very sad individuals out there and it seems you have one of them as a SIL. Good luck hun, let us know how things go Hug Xx

tigger197613tigger197613
posted 9 years 6 months ago
oh hun i can appreciate how hard it is for as i used to have that with my exs family Mad and like you i chose to ignore it , i was not gonna be the one to cause more hassle , and i still see i was the better person as i rose above it i wasnt behaving like a child in the playground, i would certainly talk to your hubby they a probably just jealous and the only way they can deal with it is to behave like 7 year olds.....

sorry thats my view

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 6 months ago
I'm sorry babe but F Angry THAT! I really can't stand people like that!! Evil or Very Mad She must be so unhappy and so insecure with her own self and life that she needs to pick on you and your family... woulda booted her ass outta my life the minute she started treating me that way, and I woulda definately let her know why before I did.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with such immaturity and ignorance for the sake of family. I am not as big a person as you as there are a few of my family members (not immediate) that I have purposely "lost touch" with because I couldn't stand the way the were or the way they treated people.

I would let her know how you feel and then just avoid her whenever possible. Big Hug 's hun!

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 6 months ago
Thanks guys my DH knows about it all and is the same as me he just keeps away from her for the sake of his brother and the kids. (my DH has a quick sharp tounge and a short temper).He handles her very well and she really puts on a show of friendliness infront of him but he knows what she is like as they have had more than a few arguments.My bro in laws girlfriend has told me alot of things that she has said and it makes me really sad as none of it is true and she knows it.I should know deep down she hasnt got a problem with me (i have always been there for her and her family but its not my fault.She is a very jealous person over stupid things (such as me owning my own home)she is very unhappy in her marraige and is a very materialistic person so i should not feel this way because of her insecurities.I just cant keep feeling like this i get this awful sick feeling in my stomache and i break out into a sweat when ever i know we will be seeing her i cant believe i get this worked up.
I dont call her unless its to do with the kids but she calls me once a week and asks the same questions over and over again "how are you and your hubby going?"i asked my DH does she know something i dont??LOL(i trust him 100%).I feel like keeping my answering machine on so i dont have to take her calls and i dont want to do that why should i!!My DH has spoken to his bro about it all not so long ago and he said he doesnt know what he is talking about and that she is the same as always.My DH doesnt want to push the point with his brother as he is a fragile person and doesnt accept critisism to well.

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 6 months ago

jo-jo said:
Thanks guys my DH knows about it all and is the same as me he just keeps away from her for the sake of his brother and the kids. (my DH has a quick sharp tounge and a short temper).He handles her very well and she really puts on a show of friendliness infront of him but he knows what she is like as they have had more than a few arguments.My bro in laws girlfriend has told me alot of things that she has said and it makes me really sad as none of it is true and she knows it.I should know deep down she hasnt got a problem with me (i have always been there for her and her family but its not my fault.She is a very jealous person over stupid things (such as me owning my own home)she is very unhappy in her marraige and is a very materialistic person so i should not feel this way because of her insecurities.I just cant keep feeling like this i get this awful sick feeling in my stomache and i break out into a sweat when ever i know we will be seeing her i cant believe i get this worked up.
I dont call her unless its to do with the kids but she calls me once a week and asks the same questions over and over again "how are you and your hubby going?"i asked my DH does she know something i dont??LOL(i trust him 100%).I feel like keeping my answering machine on so i dont have to take her calls and i dont want to do that why should i!!My DH has spoken to his bro about it all not so long ago and he said he doesnt know what he is talking about and that she is the same as always.My DH doesnt want to push the point with his brother as he is a fragile person and doesnt accept critisism to well.


Geez, no wonder, with who he has to live with, he probably takes it day in and day out from her it sounds like! Try not to let her get you down hun as you know it's her with the issues and not you! Hug

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