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Just had abit of a cry

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Summer is in year 1 of school now. She has always loved school, we never had tears or worries, her first day of playgroup she never even said good bye just went and played and school she settled into straight away. However this year so far she has been faking feeling sick some mornings and I have been having to dress her some days or she wont put her uniform on. She has complained that she doesn't like school and doesn't want to go which is so unlike her. I had a word with her teacher a week ago about it because I didn't understand why. She likes her teacher and the teaching assistant, she is doing well academically and has always had a good group of friends. So this has all been hard to understand, last thursday she even wet herself at school. This week I tried to get over it, telling myself she was just going through a phase but tonight we had a big chat at bed time when Steve had gone out and Denis was asleep. She told me that some of her friends aren't being very nice to her, two girls inparticular. It turns out it's all down to the fact that Summer is in the highest ability group and is on the highest level reading book in the class, (or 'Orange books' as they would call it). I am so angry because I'm hurting for her. She is blessed with her reading, she just took to it like a duck to water and I don't want her to be put off because other children are picking on her for it. But more importantly I want her to be happy and excited about going to school like she used to be. I want her to be the happy, energetic little girl at school that she always has been, she's there 5 days a week and I can't have her be unhappy 5 days a week. I'm going to speak with her teacher again but I don't really know what she will be able to change Frustrated
I just feel so so sad for her feeling so so sad and I know when Steve gets home later and I tell him he wont take it seriously Sad Crying


hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Awww hun, I'm sorry Hug

This is one of the reasons I wanted boys (not that I'd trade my girl for the world now), girls can be so mean and catty and it can start at such a young age. I think it's because in general we tend to have more insecurities and get jealous easier than boys.

Summer is a beautiful and smart little girl and that's already a threat to the other little girls in her class... it's sad really No I don't know how much it would help her at her age but I would try to explain to her that she needs to keep being the great girl that she is and try to get her to understand that girls can sometimes be that way and she should just ignore those girls and only bother with the nice ones. I've had to have that talk with Aaralyn before too, unfortunately Sad

Big ((((((((HUGGGGGGS)))))) for you and Summer from me and Aaralyn, 2 nice girls Wink

staceybstaceyb
posted 9 years 2 months ago
- My blog
awwwwwwwwww hun im so sorry. poor summer. as tammy said girls can be soooooo awful

my jami was picked on in the junior school cause like yr summer she was good at reading, spelling and maths (still is LOL) and always likes to try and answer questions. she was called 'teachers pet' and 'swot' etc. i told her to ignore them and that theyre just jealous or her. but jami was like 9yrs old. its a bit different for a child as young as summer. i dont really know what to suggest hun, except tell her to try and ignore them. but thats all it is: jealousy. hope talking to her teacher helps

well done to summer though. shes doing great Thumbs Up

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Thanks ladies, I tried to get her excited about school this morning as they have 'show and tell' on friday and she got to choose something to take in. This did encourage her a little. We'll try and start fresh next monday (I hope).

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Hug I hope it gets sorted soon and Summer is happy at school again.Its horrible to think at that age kids can be so nasty No Good luck on Monday and fingers crossed for Summer that it will be a fresh start so you can wave her of with a smile on both your faces.xx

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Aww hun, this must be awful for you. I don't know why girlies seem to find such a threat in other gils that are clever Sad . We are our own worse enemies, boys just don't seem to care at all about such things! Shrug
I really hope you can get this sorted quickly and it doesn't affect summer too much. As the others have said i would encourage her to keep up with the reading and try and explain to her that these girls are just jealous of how clever she is? I hope the teacher will be able to shed some more light on the situation hun? It sounds like you have a great little girl there though hun, you are definitely doing something right! Thumbs Up Xx

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Sorry to hear this hon. Poor Summer. Jas has just been put to age 12 work at her school (she's just coming up 10) and the teachers told us that she should not mention it to other children. It's a tough thing to ask of kids but she does understand why. We've just bought her all her 11+ books too but are trying not to put the pressure on her.

I'm sure you're very proud of Summer and hopefully she can rise above the others jealously - cos that's what it is!

Love to her from two more nice girls Hug Hug

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Well I had a chat with the teacher at the end of school, there was one main girl that Summer mentioned and it seemed the others were just following what she said. As soon as I told the teacher who it is she was not surprised, apparantly they had some trouble with her last year in Reception too, which I didn't know about. The teacher said she is a very manipulative little girl and makes a big fuss if she doesn't get her own way. On monday afternoon she is going to talk to the class about friendships and that if you treat people badly in the end they wont want to be friends with you etc. She is also going to have a one to one talk with the girl in question, she is not going to mention Summer's name but is going to tell her that generally her treatment of others is not nice and that it wont be tolerated.
They spend a fair amount of time in their ability groups doing writing and project work, but they also have sessions where they get to mix and she is going to make sure that next week Summer gets to spend some activity time specifically with one of her very special friends who she has known since play group, in the hope that she will get her confidence back up abit. The teacher said she really doesn't want Summer to be put off school because she is doing so well and that she never has any problems with her. Which is why she was so shocked when I initially approached her last week with a problem.
Anyway I am feeling sooooo much happier now that it's all come out and I'm hoping next week things will get better.

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
That's great, I can almost feel your relief hun!! I hope all of this works out and maybe all of the kids will get something positive out of this. I think teaching kids to be tolerant and kind to others is one of the most important lessons our children can have to carry through their whole life.... and to not let the ones who haven't learned that life lesson get you down, let it be there problem I say!!

I hope that Summer has a super great day at school on monday and for the rest of the days too!! Hug

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 2 months ago
So glad the teacher has helped alay your worries hun! She sounds like a great teacher Thumbs Up I'm sure it won't be long before Summer can't wait for a monday morning again so she can get back to school! Have my fingers crossed all goes great for her hun! Xx

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Well monday at school the teacher true to her word did have a big class talk about how you should treat each other, I know because as soon as the children came out from school my friend's son (in Summer's class) told his mum about it.

Anyway this morning I walked home from school with another mum who has a girl in Summer's class( and who used to be friends with the mother of the nasty girl) and it turns out she has been having trouble with this nasty girl since last Christmas. Basically her daughter has been feeling just like Summer, like this girl is horrible and because her friends are also friends with this girl she has been feeling left out and alone. Which is just how Summer felt. I said to my friend that at the minute I can hardly look at the nasty girl's mother on the play ground because I feel like I might flip and she told me that a few months ago she actually did have a falling out with the mother over it. She said she had been avoiding walking home with them as she knew her daughter was unhappy at school because of this girl but they ended up walking together one day and when the girl started being horrible and her mother did nothing about it my friend said "That's it I've had enough of your daughter bullying her" etc. The mother did nothing, she basically said that my friend's girl was the one with the problem and needed to toughen up. She has known about other incidences where her daughter is horrible and she says nothing to her. Apparantly the mother and father of this girl argue about it alot because he does tell the daughter off when she is nasty but the mother just cuddles her and lets her get away with it to the point where this girl even says "I hate daddy" to her mum because her mum lets her get away with murder.

I said to my friend that the teacher was really good when I spoke to her about the problem and that maybe she should go back in and have a word because the more of us that come forward about the problem hopefully the more likely it is that they will come down harder on this girl and talk to the parents. I'm even crosser at the girl's mother now but a little relieved I must admit that it's not just Summer who has been through this as I now really do now it's the other girl with the problem not Summer doing anything wrong.

SamuelSamuel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Mikey is going through this a bit at the moment as until recently we lived in East England, so he started school in January, now we have moved to Wales he is back in the beginning of reception, so he is getting some upsetting comments from the other children too. His teacher is making sure now that the comments are stopped and he is alot happier at school.

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 2 months ago
i had this problem with Gemma when she was in the Junior school with a nother girl, whos always been picking on Gemma for one reason or another!

Talk to the teacher and maybe mum to the girls and get this sorted, girls are strange creatures and they can be so bitchy at times.

Your daughter is blessed with brains and should be encouraged as much as possible. Hug

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